Wednesday, September 12, 2007

   long days, even longer nights, eventually it will all melt into one...

hey guys! well, it's been a while since I've shown a sign of life on here.. my apologies for that, but I simply couldn't get a reasonable post out of my fingertips. things always got depressed or words wouldn't come out at all.. this won't be very long, I'll just tell you guys about the past few days. well, the weekend was good, went to Silver-sama as usual after working my butt off on friday and saturday. we're setting up the new store and the finishing touches should all get done tomorrow, cause we're opening on FRIDAY!!! YAY!!! there's a whole new mall in my town and we're getting so many wonderful stores!! it's just like I don't have to go to the next town over to shop anymore ^^ the bookstore has become HUGE! but unfortunately, the owner still won't sell any manga.. the audience for it is too small.. oh well, I found myself some very good comic stores and book stores that do sell my drug hehe ^^ anyway, back to my days. monday and tuesday were college. pretty much boring, cause I spend lectures all by myself *shrugs* I've stopped caring and actually won't mind not having anyone to sit with this year.. I only have to put up with this class for half a year, so I'll be fine. though I should really start looking for an internship, cause I need one in februari.. today was work. hard work and a lot of it. my hands hurt all over, mostly due to pushing and pulling collis around (containers.. they're like half cages where the boxes are stacked on.. oh hell, one of these ^^") on friday and saturday it was at it's worst, 44 collis each >_< my hands were raw by the end of that.. and then there's the opening of the boxes, getting the shoeboxes out, putting the shoeboxes on the shelves.. today was mostly filled with getting the security pins on the shoes (those little alarm devices) man, did my fingers hurt after that! then there was the filling of the baskets and other random jobs.. now if only one of my coworkers wasn't getting on my nerves so badly.. let me explain: he's lazy, complains a lot, is a total doofus and can't do a single thing by himself. 'nuff said. we had a little ladder, which we don't need in the store, so it had to be send back. today, two collis came in and the empty ones had to be taken back to the distribution centre. those, and the ladder. so we put the ladder with the empty collis so that it couldn't be forgotten.. what does this brilliant person do? he lays the ladder, on the floor, against the wall of the building, "so that it wouldn't be in the way". so three guesses what was forgotten to be sent back? EXACTLY! when I confronted him with the fact, he said he couldn't be blamed, cause appearently, he told the driver that it had to be taken too. now, don't get me wrong, in a way, he could've gotten away with that, if it wasn't for the fact that we were getting the collis to the truck! not only this incident annoyed me, also the fact that he didn't drive any collis to the truck and still gets away with pretending to do work.. very much like the time when we (me and him together *shudders*) had to reorganise part of the storage in the other store.. he let me do most of the work, and skipped out halfway cause a colli with shoeboxes was coming up that he would have to put away. he then told our boss, when he got downstairs that we were done with the job. in the meantime, I spent over half an hour doing the rest.. thank goodness all the others are seeing how he really is now, so I can complain to them too. I've been especially mean to him today though.. he just annoys me too much and he won't get the clue.. during breaks he always comes to stand close to me and blabber about nothing to me.. he mostly asks if I'm tired, while he knows that I hardly sleep.. so I told him off and when he asked me if I was cranky because I was tired, I simply told him that I'm always tired and that maybe he should just keep some distance from me.. I hope he understood it this time.. I just don't like him hehe ^^' anyhoot.. ohhh, check out my ankle (in a very uncomfortable position though) I'll try to get a better picture tomorrow, when it's properly bruised *laughs* a colli tried to overtake me.. and instead, it just drove over my ankle *ouch* I'm pretty cut and bruised as it is already.. the bruises from last week's playfight are starting to fade, but brand new ones from stuff like boxes and getting my hand stuck between a colli and a shelf full of boxes, are taking their place ^^ well, it's about time for me to watch Bones and after that, I think I'll take some time off and read more of the book I'm reading. it's 'Jhereg' by Steven Brust, I recommend it to anyone who likes phantasy and a bit of mystery/detective work ^^ it's really great! oh, and here's your LOLcat for today, it's a random one: while you're at it, listen to this song and read this webcomic it kept me busy for a good few hours when I had to wait for a lecture *laughs* especially the webcomic is great fun (I think you'll enjoy it Kikyo ^_~) much clown love, I'm outti *hugs for all* ps: as for the title, I've been having sleepless nights and long, hard days at work ^^" pps: no Bones for me, due to stupid soccer.. oh well.. by the way, I posted, and *poof* TheO's out for about half an hour *Laughs* and yet another comment: three new wallpapers! guys, I recommend you all to take a look ^_~

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Thursday, September 6, 2007

Let me apologise to begin with. Let me apologise for what I'm about to say...

hey people! well, since Silver-sama sort of spilled the beans already, I might as well come clean now.. yes, I am depressed again. heavily. I've gone back to the doctor several times now and it's not really getting me anywhere.. as some of you might know, he's sending me back to therapy. it's just that the people from the therapy still haven't gotten back to me (it's been over a month now since I sent them the forms back..) and my thoughts keep getting darker and sadder. I've been having panic attacks. not fun, I can tell you that.. moments where I simply HAD to have Silver with me, or I felt like I would explode.. thank goodness that was when I was over at Silver's for the weekend, so everything went fine that time. I didn't want to tell him, cause I didn't want him to worry, but he does so anyway ^^" the latest one came when I was at home. I think it was this monday.. my eyes were freaking out.. as I said, my left eye decided to not work at all monday morning. monday evening, both my eyes were refusing to do their job.. I went to the doc again on tuesday. my eyes are fine, it's probably because of headaches that they were acting weird (they're fine again now by the way) the doc just won't give me anything against the headaches, so I'm stuck with your everyday paracetamol.. also, I told him about my lack of sleep and my new panic attacks. what was his reaction you ask? I quote: "hm, so the pills don't really work against the panicing eh? well, let's get you another blood test, cause I don't want to put everything on the mental field." in other words, he thinks they just might have missed a blood decease the first seven times they tested my blood *sighs* besides, he only tests for the most common ones, you'd think we've excluded those by now *rolls eyes* I'll get the results tomorrow, I'll keep you all posted if they find something this time.. in short, I'm getting more and more depressed and even more frustrated because I don't know what is causing it or how to fight it.. it's like I'm slipping, letting go, giving up.. I know a lot of you are worried about me and I really appreciate your care *smiles* the only problem is that it gets hard for me to convince myself that everything will turn out ok when everyone keeps saying how worried they are.. all I ask of you, is a bit of support. like you've always done for me anyway, so just keep on going as you were ^^ I want to apologise especially to Silver-sama and my ojou-sama Magnus. I know you both suffer the worst under my depression, mostly because of the one recurring question: "why?" I don't know.. I do know that it's no ones fault. it seems to be something chemical in my head. or maybe it's stress.. all I know right now is that it's there and it's getting worse again. bear with me for now guys. I'll try and whip up a better post soon. in the meantime, I've got a lot of work ahead of me.. tomorrow we're going to start decorating and filling the shelves of the new store in my town ^^ can't wait, cause I've got about a full week of distracting work coming ^^ next week, the 14th, all work should be done for a festive opening! also, I've gotten my hands on some more Grifter comics ^^ can't wait to read them hehe ^^" I still haven't had time for that.. have a great day people *massive glomps for everyone* much clown love, I'm outti. have some LOLcats ^^

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Monday, September 3, 2007

   The swing of things

hey guys! this was supposed to be a nice long post about my weekend, but due to a nasty eye problem (I actually can't see anything with my left eye at the moment and I don't know why >_<) I'll keep things short. the weekend was great though. my mom's birthday went by without too much trouble and then Silver and me headed over to his house. the party on saturday was GREAT! though I did get completely wasted and roughed up.. yeah, playfighting with Silver's best friend (Frank) wasn't such a good idea after all ^^" I'm pretty bruised up and hurting, but I'll live. what did shock me was that by the end of the evening, I found myself with a cigarette in my hands. yep, I smoked >_< only a little though, cause thank goodness Silver was there to yank the thing out of my hands and put it out ^^" he got really pissed about it, but I honestly can't blame him.. I'm glad he still always looks out for me ^^ I just feel so stupid for doing that, but hell, I was drunk, curious and had opportunity (Silver's cousin) don't think I'll ever to it again though BLECH! it seems like I'm back on that dreaded evil path of selfdestruction, I need to be more careful. well, today I go back to college (well, back and forth cause I only live a 45 minute busride away) and I'm not sure what to expect. guess I'll let things come and see what happens. I wonder what label people are going to give me this time, especially since my hair is now purple! I love it ^^ I'm also going to pick up the last two volumes of Grifter/Midnighter ^^ and I'm going to see if maybe I can pick up Guild Wars:Nighfall for a reasonable price, since the latest addition, Eye of the North, came out on friday (already bought that one hehe ^^) well, I'm off and I hope to visit you guys today, provided my eye decides to start working again (don't worry, if it lasts too long, I'll visit the doc ^^) much clown love, I'm outti! oh and for those of you in the US, have a great day since it appears to be yet another holiday *laughs*

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Wednesday, August 29, 2007

   What's this? What's this?!

it's a post, from me!! yes, really!! ok, hey guys! I'm sort of back now ^^ for those of you who missed my leaving: I've been taking a break from TheO, mostly due to depression and stress. otherwise known as the Storm in my Head. it seems to have calmed down quite a bit at the moment. whether the pills are working again, or maybe I'm just stronger than I think I am, I don't know.. I do know that the therapy people still haven't contacted me.. they're probably trying to figure out what the hell they meant with the forms they sent me ^^" those were just useless.. work is going alright. my boss seems to have a pattern in good and bad days, though lately, he likes to complain about us (the girls) not working fast enough.. he preached to me a few times already, cause too many shoes get stolen from the men's department. I can't help it that I have to man the men's and childrens department for a full saturday on my own, a week before school starts again, meaning all children in the Netherlands seem to need new shoes >_< it's been hell just trying to get all the work done at the children and now he expects me to take care of the men too?! what we need is one extra person on the floor to take care of that, but he wouldn't know *sigh* oh well, luckily, like with my parents, I've learned to tune him out and listen to the people who do know what work is like ^^ speaking of my parents, my mom is doing better too. she had a meeting with someone from the hospital today and she doesn't need to go back there anymore. she does still need to do her excercises and go to fysiotherapy. her hip now hurts, because she's putting weight on it again, so she can complain to her heart's content about that ^^' also, she's still a bit of a "freakshow" for the family, so she gets loads of attention.. my babyfish had babies.. so now I've got some more *laughs* Quiny had to miss me a lot lately, since I've been staying at Silver's a lot. but she makes up for lost times by waking me up early in the morning and annoying me until I'm fully awake ^^" she's still cute though the kitten at Silver's is growing up nicely. Silver's mom blames me for random stuff the kitten does, but screw that. Xena (their older cat) is still really cranky, but I guess the two just have to spend more time together.. as for me. I'm alright. my cold still isn't gone, but I simply don't have the time to visit the doc and complain about something as trivial as a common cold. I'll just keep going until it's gone ^^ I've struck a new obsession: The Nightmare Before Christmas ^^ I bought a sweater, armlet and two sets of earrings from it to add to my little bracelet I already had *laughs* I just love Jack the Pumpkin King, though the BoogieMan is my favorite from the movie ^^ also, I've been playing a lot of Guild Wars again ^^ can't wait for Nightfall to get cheaper, so that I can add it on my laptop ^^ the next addition, Eye of the North, comes out friday, so it shouldn't be too long ^^ college starts again on monday. I wonder what kind of people I'm mixed with this time.. I'll probably be the outcast again, but oh well. I got to work all day tomorrow, it's my mom's birthday friday and on saturday, I'll be at Silver's for his birthday party. so I probably won't be back until sunday/monday. have a great time everyone!! much clown love, I'm outti!

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Thursday, August 16, 2007

   I need a break.

hey guys! I hope everyone is doing good. this will be a short post. I know I said I would visit, but I think I only got around to about three or four sites. truth be told, I'm not doing all that well. though work is getting more fun, since my boss finally understands how to treat me and isn't being a total jerk anymore, I'm not feeling very well. I've been having a cold for about a month now and it just won't go away. combine that with an everlasting headache which started on sunday and still isn't completely gone and you can see where I am physically. not to mention my insomnia, I hardly slept for weeks (with a few exceptions at Silver-sama's) and when I do sleep, I only wake up more tired. I dream the weirdest and most random dreams and maybe I move around a lot in my sleep, I don't know.. I just can't seem to get some rest. mentally, not all things are great either. it seems that the 'storm' in my head is getting stronger again. I won't bother you guys with the details. what does work as a big factor in my storm is the fact that I can't seem to be able to be a good friend. I neglected a lot of sites and I just can't handle that very well. I like all of you, you're all very good friends to me *hugs all around* so I feel very bad about not having the energy or mindset to come visit and comment. I feel especially bad for the people who do come by every time I post *bows* you know who you are ^^ I hereby give my apologies and I will take some time off from the internet. I will return as soon as my mind settles down a bit, or work gets less busy (I'm working 25 hours this week alone, while my contract is for four hours I think ^^") anyway, when I get some energy back, I'll try to come around again ^^ also know that I can't miss this place for too long, so I'll probably check around some sites without commenting. oh, since it was asked, my mom is doing alright. she has fysiotherapy every week and is doing much better. though she does complain about the stretching she needs to do three times a day, she does say that her leg hurts a lot less ^^ lastly, here are some LOLcats to last you for a while: oh, those damn squirrles!!! *sneezes* ok, I'm tired now.. hope you guys have a great rest of the week and weekend and I'll be back eventually, don't worry ^^ much clown love, I'm outti. octopusses

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Monday, August 13, 2007

   Life don't stop, but good times do...

disclaimer: English is not my first language, therefor, there might be some small grammatical faults or spelling mistakes. i.e. I use "octopusses" instead of "octupi". also, do note the humour of this disclaimer instead of taking it seriously. just stop correcting my spelling ^_~ otherwise, enjoy the post and the people who comment with a "I didn't know your first language wasn't English" or "it isn't English?! then what is it?" will face horrible punishment for not reading my profile. have a nice day ^^ hey people!! I'm back from once again a long weekend at Silver's ^^ it's been great being able to get out of the house as much as I've been lately ^^ but now, Silver is back to work and it'll just be short weekends again.. I do have a lot of work this week, so I think I'll get out of a lot of whining that my parents might throw at me.. also, I've been very easy in doing choires and stuff, so they don't have that much to complain about. I just got done dusting my room and cleaning up and doing some grocery shopping ^^ yep, I might even turn into the perfect daughter one day*laughs* the weekend was great. Silver and me just rested a lot (I slept most of sunday ^^") on saturday we went into the city and I bought myself some stuff ^^ a new watch, some charms for my charm-bracelet and *dun dun dunnn* volume 14 of Fullmetal Alchemist ^^ can't wait to read it hehe ^^ also, volume 2 of Aquarian Age:Juvenile Orion was waiting for me at Silver's ^^ I ordered it from eBay, since it was impossible to get it any other way ^^' it's in mint condition though and it completes the series ^^ we went to see Evan Almighty, which was pretty good. not as funny as Bruce Almighty, but I still liked the message they put in it ^^ as I said, on sunday we didn't do much. in the evening we watched some tv and completed my wooden dragon ^^ Silver bought it for me a while back, more out of sentiment than anything else really (except for my love for dragons hehe) I used to have those little wooden model kits a lot when I was little ^^ here are some pictures and man, did it ever take long to get some parts to fit right ^^" it's protecting some of my jewels ^^ after it was done, we watched Doom and then went to sleep. and today, after sleeping in for a long time ^^ I had to go home again T_T I'll really miss seeing him this much.. it's always hard to get adjusted again after a nice long time with the one you love.. oh well. when I got home, no one was there.. then my dad came home and after a while, my mom. they didn't say much, just asked me to do the few chores they had for me. it wasn't that bad.. this week will be rather lonely for me.. Silver's got the nightshift and Matt, who I've been chatting with pretty much every evening lately, is gone for a week.. I'll live though. got some nice scary movies to watch ^^ or at least one: "It". I think I'll do that tonight ^^ your postly LOLcat is dedicated to LS today ^^ I'll probably visit tomorrow guys. I'll try to catch up with everyone as much as I can.. I think I might have to keep my visiting down to once a week for now, since I'm just busy and distracted.. sorry *bows* just bare with me for a while and everything will be fine again ^^ well, I'll let you guys go now ^^ much clown love, I'm outti!

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Wednesday, August 8, 2007

will I ever fully return?

hey guys!! I'm back, again ^^" spend the first couple of days of this week over at Silver-sama's ^^ it was sooooo good ^^ on monday we didn't do much, just tried to show our face to the guests on his mom's birthday every now and again. and I slept a lot. but yesterday was just fantastic!! we went to the beach (BE-ATCH!!! I had so much fun annoying Silver with that *laughs*) and the weather was so great.. for the first time in YEARS I went swimming in the sea ^^ the water felt so great, though it was pretty darn cold at times ^^" we had our usual beach-fun, playing the game I like to call: "look for crabs and Lytjuh wins either way" found the complete shell of a tiny crab and annoyed Silver with that for a while ^^ he didn't let me put it on his feet or close to his face or even down his pants *sulks* so in the end, I got sick of carrying it around and Silver wouldn't let me put it in the bag, so I decided to give it back to the sea ^^ we also went to the aquarium (Sea-Life ^^ YAY) and I had great fun there ^^ the octopus was out of it's little pipe-house, and sitting in a corner close to the glass so you could see it very well ^^ it's so cute ^^ I love octopusses *squee!!* we found a carnival-like game where you could try and get a little seal-cub plush. it cost 3 bucks, but you got to go until you got one and the money goes to IFAW ^^ so I had Silver win one for me ^^ so now, I have a little 'Snowy' the IFAW mascott ^^ then, we headed back out to the beach and calmly walked back to the car. once we got home, a nice shower took care of the salt and sand (in all the wrong places >_< ) and then we went to get ourselves some chinese food!! it was so yummy ^^ after watching House, it was about time for me to go home.. I have to work today after all.. got a little sunburned too >_< wasn't very careful about that, since the sun wasn't very strong and it wasn't out all the time either *shrugs* oh well ^^ your daily LOLcat (or should I say: postly?) in case you can't see: it's a cat. in a jar. who is joined by one of his little friends. in a jar. *laughs* well, the rest of this week is going to be busy ^^" I have a lot of work to do (today: 12-5.30pm, tomorrow: 9am-5pm, friday: 12-5.30pm) and on friday, after dinner, Silver will pick me up to spend the weekend over at his house again ^^ so I don't know how much I'll be around. I'll try to visit tonight, though I can't promise anything! well, I guess I can promise to try.. so yeah ^^" hope you all have a great day *massive hugs* much clown love, I'm outti.

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Friday, August 3, 2007

   When your colleagues can't recall your name, time and time again, there's a reason for it...

hey guys! well, I promised I'd be back and whaddayaknow, here I am ^_~ yesterday was.. well, let me just tell you about yesterday ^^' at first, everything was just fine. I had slept a lot and was able to avoid my parents for most of the time. my mom came home from the hospital, feeling a bit stiff and achy, but doing better than before. I had to work in the evening (5-9) which was hell for a while.. my boss was being his usual asshole self, so he was annoying me like nothing else can.(he still can't remember my name) a few evil looks made him back off for a bit and actually help me instead of standing there, watching and making fun of me. at the end of the shift, he actually gave me a little pat on my shoulder, which I think can be taken as a compliment. we also had a reasonably civilised conversation about what will happen when the new store opens. so in the end, I didn't feel too bad about work. all in all, it seemed like it was actually going to be a good day for me. but then, in the evening, back at the house.. I was feeling top of the world, talking to my two favorite boys ^_~ (Silver-sama and Matt-kun ^^) listening to The Streets and then it happened *dun dun dunnnn* my brother barged it. yes, my brother this time. he was trying to sleep (gee, that's new, usually he stays up all night) and he decided he had to yell at me because my music was bothering him. normally, the roles are the other way around. whenever I try to sleep, his music comes through so that I can sing along with it. or I can actually hear what the people in his tv-series are saying. or he's just pretending to be a drummer on his desk. but when I threw that argument at him, he said that I'm bothered by everything, so he doesn't care about that. after a short fight, me trying to hold back and ignore him, I decided to turn my music off. there, problem solved. you'd think. but nooooo, my brother decided to give me some more shit first before he went back to his room. and that just broke the dam. I cried for the biggest part of the rest of my evening. my mom eventually came into my room and we had a little talk about what has been bothering me. mostly the fact that no one else complains about my brother and the behaviour of my boss. I'm just glad I'll be rid of my boss in a few months, that's the only reason I keep hanging in there. my mom was really nice for a change (maybe it WAS her leg *gasp*) and I felt better after we talked. though it didn't stop the tears, nothing seemed to be able to stop them.. they just kept coming. which isn't a nice combo with my cold. though it did get rid of a lot of the snot that had been building up in my head ^^" chatted with Silver-sama and Matt for more time, especially the chat with Matt, which was pretty deep and serious, cheered me up ^^ eventually, around midnight, I took a sleeping pill and brushed my teeth, chatted until the pill started to work and then slept. had a dream about me and my bro actually taking the fight to another level, more psychological warfare.. in more happy news, today, I'm not feeling too shabby ^^ though I didn't sleep as good as I wanted, it feels like today will be an alright day. I need to clean my fishtanks, so I got my work cut out for me. also, a new wallpaper got accepted to TheO. I don't think I even spend this much time on a wallpaper since I started making them. but then again, this one means a lot to me, since it shows the feeling I've had lately and I just love Eclaire from Kiddy Grade hehe ^^" check it out if you'd like ^^ Hosted By theOtaku.com. it should open in a new window. I'm really proud of how it turned out ^^ though the idea behind it might be a bit dark, the wallpaper doesn't really pull you into depression ^^' anyway, hope you guys like it ^^ your daily LOLcat: hehe too cute ^^ I'll visit later today. yep, procrastinating some more.. but eventually, I will come by! watch my words!! ^_~ have a great day everyone. much clown love, I'm outti.

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Thursday, August 2, 2007

   There's no place like home...

hey guys! well, I'm sort of back. not sure how much I will visit and comment cause I'm sick >_< (you happy now Silver-sama? I admitted it! *sticks out tongue*) basically, all that's going on is a really bad cold. combined with nasty headaches, a sore throat and feeling like I'm going to throw up. that, and the fact that I'm too darn stubborn to really see that I'm sick, so I still stay up till 3.30 am chatting ^^" I think I'll visit tomorrow. yeah, that sounds like a good idea ^^ get some sleep after this before my mom gets home. yes, my mom is coming home again today. all in all, she had to stay in the hospital for slightly over twentyfour hours. still, me and Silver-sama (thank goodness he was there)visited her yesterday. it was allright, we bought her this cheesy "get well soon" balloon at the gift shop and went to see her. surprisingly enough, she only complained about me being a bit sarcastic (or in her words: complaining too much *see the irony?*) but that was probably because she was sedated. I wonder what today will be like. her leg is feeling all better though (she was operated on a hernia) all this didn't hold back my dad from taking the role of yelling and preaching parent *sighs and rolls eyes* most of the time he was complaining about how I didn't pick up my cell whenever he called. well, excuse me for not taking it with me into the bathroom or shower. sometimes, you're just not available, that's why they invented VOICEMAIL! of course, the fact that my dad has about three cells and can be called anytime, anywhere, didn't help me much in my defense. then back at the house (I say house, not home, explaination will follow) he decided to lecture me about the insurance on my cell phone. yes, I have it insured and I pay a monthly fee. I don't mind, I work, so I make money to pay for it. but of course, my dad still believes that I earn about a nickle a month and that I can't pay for anything 'fancy'. then came more complaining and preaching, but I kind of tuned him out and tried to focus on Silver-sama and getting calm again before attacking my dad. in the evening, he kept yelling that I had to remember that I have to work today (5pm-9pm) and that I should go to bed IN TIME >_< Silver-sama was able to get my mind off things for a bit though. we watched Perfect Creature, which was alright ^^ I had expected more special effects, but I really liked the setting (decor) and the story. but then, Silver-sama had to leave.. thank goodness my dad already went to sleep ^^' I spend most of the night chatting with Silver-sama and Matt, then finally went to sleep. another thing I didn't miss about being in this place: getting woken up by my cat scratching at the door at 5.30am >_< I woke up, let her in and pushed the door back a little bit (I don't like sleeping with the door open) she then decided that she had to scratch the inside of the door. then, she just decided to come sit on my bed and annoy me by trying to get the hair elastics I put on my bedpost off the bedpost. so when I put those away, she decided to sniff my face and purr in my ears a lot, then finally she left again to let me sleep. I say house and 'this place' cause there is one thing that has dawned on me in the past few days. this isn't my home anymore. this isn't where I belong, it's only a place where I spend my time until I will get to my home. the past few days at Silver's were amazing. I felt so free and my depression sort of calmed down for a bit. getting back here, in this atmosphere, got it going full blaze again. there's a storm in my head that isn't ready to subside just yet.. don't worry, I'll live ^^ well, enough of my whining. words of praise: Good job Yensid-sensei in being the only one who noticed, or at least commented about, my new picture!! *applauds* I like this one, since it's a lot lighter than the other one and yes, my hair is getting longer and longer ^^ my wallpapers have gotten beyond the 1.000 downloads border. actually, they're over 1.100 downloads already. this makes me feel so proud ^^ though I did not draw the pictures used in them, people can still appreciate the compositions I make and actually want something like that on their desktops ^^ thank you, everyone of you who has downloaded one or more of my wallies ^^ feel free to check out my portfolio from time to time, cause I will be adding more (when I'm feeling better) well, I'd better get me some more sleep. hope you all have a great day and I guess I'll be back tomorrow then ^^ much clown love, I'm outti. (hold on! no LOLcat?! alright, I'll do one... they're a link now ^^ so purty. gotta love Katamari ^^

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Monday, July 30, 2007

   another sign of life

hey guys!! well, just to let you all know, I won't be around again for a while. don't expect to see me till thursday ^^" I'm staying at Silver's again ^^ it's a great relief to be out of the house, especially since my mom has gotten worse than usual.. she's having surgery on wednesday and is just plain bitchy to me about visiting. explaination: mom: "you will visit me on wednesday right?"(she has to stay one night) me: I dunno, probably. is Nick (my bro) coming too? mom: "of course, but I don't have to ask him, since HE remembers this kind of thing." gee thanks for once again pointing out that I'm a lousy daughter and my brother is perfect. *sigh* yesterday, I had typed up half of a humongous post about EVERYTHING that has been bothering me lately, but of course, since Karma's a bitch and I seem to have a whole bunch of bad karma, the kitten decided to sit on my keyboard and erased everything >_< so I guess you guys got saved, but then again, maybe I'll type it up again someday.. well, hope you guys have a nice week and I'll see you all on thursday ^^ much clown love, I'm outti.

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