Friday, January 26, 2007

   what's really happening, reality is pretend!

I think it's from 'Wicked Rappers Delight' from ICP and Esham.. time: 7.45-8.30 am CET mood: shocked and dazed physical condition: my body hasn't really woken up yet.. manga: Gatcha Gacha volume 3 song: none really.. weather: probably cold and wintery.. hey guys I just woke up from what's probably my most horrible dream ever.. and since they say it's good to talk about bad dreams, I'm going to post about it. plus, posting will take my mind off things. I dreamt that I was out camping with some guy I knew very well. now, in reality, I have no idea who he is, but in my dream he was some kind of close family friend.. everything was nice and cool and just a fun time. I actually had my cat, Quinty, with me and there were some people on the camping ground who also had a lot of cats and kittens (I adore kittens!!). there was one guy who especially drew my attention. he had the most beautiful cat I had ever seen and an adorable kitten. in my dream, I wasn't dating Silver-sama, so it was all cool and we kind of fell in love. then everything started to become freaky.. see, the guy I was out camping with gave me what he called 'vitamin pills' every day.. nothing wrong with that at first sight. until I started to have freaky hallucinations, like I was slowly starting to wake up out of a dream and flashes of reality mixed with my dream.. when I fully woke up, I saw that I was tied down and the guy who I was with had the freakiest look in his eyes.. turns out, the pills were some kind of drug and I had been hallucinating for a few days while he had been abusing me.. he actually told me that everything I had seen and had been doing the last few days, had been a dream due to the drugs.. I managed to escape, some people on the camping ground actually helped me. (the scenery was getting confusing though, it kept switching from the camping ground, to a mall, to my house..) I tried to find the guy I was in love with and eventually, I couldn't find him and decided to leave my phonenumber for him. then I got all my stuff out of the tent, cause apparently, the guy took me someplace else.. and just when I almost got off the camping grounds, all the people suddenly started to work against me, and I began to see that creep everywhere I looked.. different flashes from me being nearly paralyzed and him abusing me and the scene of the camping ground were mixing together until I woke up again to see that I was still in that creepy room, with that freak. I could hardly move and had to listen to him telling me what he had done and was going to do with me, while still having some weird hallucinations. like him turning into Quinty.. then, he gave me a glass of water and I first started hitting him with it, but it had no effect, it only made him laugh.. then, I managed to break the glass on a doorpost or something and his only reaction was 'oh, this'll make it a bit more interesting!' and I started cutting him, but he still looked like Quinty due to my hallucinations, so I was cutting up my own cat with a glass, while I heard that freak, who was actually enjoying it and kept telling me to cut deeper... thank goodness this is where my body told me to wake up. I'm sorry if I freaked you guys out with this.. I'm just wondering where this suddenly came from.. see, I can't remember the last time I had a nightmare and all of a sudden I see myself cutting my own cat to pieces with a broken glass.. maybe it's the sleeping pill I took last night.. but then again, they didn't do that to me before.. ow well, I'm glad I woke up before things got even worse! if that's even possible.. ok, as for the rest of the post. I'll explain some things that seem to be misunderstood in my posts. fish: I love my fish and even though I whine about having to catch the little ones all the time, I love them so much and catching them is probably the most fun part ^^ what I'm going to do with them all? I keep them, watch them grow up and when they're big enough, they go back into the big tank ^^ the death ratio is high enough to not make my tank overpopulated ^^ by the way, the count is up to at least sixtyone since yesterday afternoon.. tattoo: yep, I am still planning on getting that tattoo. in fact, my mind is busy with an interesting plot which only me and Silver-sama will know until I'm completely sure about things. now, my mom. she has nothing to say really in wether or not I'm getting that tattoo. now, had she said something like: 'not while you're living under my roof!' I wouldn't do it. but the nice thing with parents is that they're easy to manipulate as long as you pay attention to what they say *grins* my mom used to tell me and my bro, that if we wanted to get a tattoo, we had to become blood donors too (no, we don't get money for that over here) cause we would be brave enough to do that too. so what do I do? I become a blood donor first(might I add: for other reasons, this is just a nice extra *smiles*) and then tell my mom: hey mom, I wanna get a tattoo!! then she starts whining about how I should be able to hide it at any time, so I say: sure mom, it'll be on my lower back and a shirt will cover it all the time (well, most of the time anyway) so then she says: well, if you have the money for it. so I kind of save some money and Silver-sama said that he'd pay half the cost for my birthday ^^ and now, her final argument is that I can't come to her, no matter how sick or painful or whatever the tattoo will make me feel. she actually seems to like the design I've chosen for it, since she only said it was a bit big. I've sized it down now and it looks like this whole thing will turn out fine ^^ Winter-een-mas: Winter-een-mas has been invented by the genius who writes the Ctrl+Alt+Delete comics, so it's not really an official holiday, even though it has been accepted by gamers and webcomic readers around the world ^^ plus, the creator actually has this whole event planned this week especially for WEMas. he organises online game events a lot anyway. hmz.. I think that's it for the explainations.. Magnus-update: she says she's doing a bit better. she's still trying to do everything on her own and that really has me worried. but it's still good news to hear her say that she's doing better. I will keep pushing her to go see a doctor or counselor though and I will keep asking you all to keep her in your thoughts and prayers. my last test today. I don't feel like I'll pass it, but I'll do my best. it's the only thing there is to do. I think I'll have to redo 3 out of 4 tests I did this week.. EDIT 2pm: that test was a piece of cake! I knew that my talent to talk complete BS would come in handy someday ^_~ I finished within little over an hour and it stays fun to watch all the surprised faces when I finish first *grins* people get nervous about their time or something.. ow well. yesterday was good. Silver-sama came over after work and we just watched some tv and enjoyed each others presence ^^ spend some time sharing PM's with Edge, trying to explain a code, but eventually it just got into some random talk which was nice ^^ one week left until the big 2-0.. don't really know how to feel.. ow well. I've been horrible in visiting. not so much my old, as it is my new friends. please be patient, I'll probably visit some time next week to return guestbook entries and comments.. and I'm sorry in advance that it's taking me so damn long >_< I'll do my regular visiting later today. well, I'm going to sneak in a quick nap before I have to leave for the bus hehe ^^ EDIT 2pm: I almost overslept yet again! but this time I came prepared! I ate breakfast and chose clothes to wear before going back to sleep hehe ^^ I'm kinda annoyed with the bus at the moment.. at my stop, people decided that they all had to freakin' SWITCH SEATS!! what's that for?! so I couldn't get to the doors in time and the driver closed them. so I was like: erhm.. I'd like to get out here! and he started driving ARGH!!! thank goodness someone in the front of the bus told him that I wanted to get out and then he let me off ^^ if he hadn't, I would've had to walk quite a bit to my house.. bleh. oh, and I'll probably disappear over the weekend again, so have a great one everyone!! much clown love, I'm outta here

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