Tuesday, January 30, 2007

   It makes me mad, cause I wanna be happy so bad...

"Happy"-LIT I hope it's all over now. time: 8.30-9.20 am CET mood: relieved physical condition: my legs hurt *glares at Silver and laughs* manga: School Rumble volume 4 song: none really... weather: sunny but still a bit cold.. hey guys ^^ well, I meant to post yesterday, but as usual lately, I overslept and had to hurry to get to school ^^" I hope you all had a wonderful weekend, I know me and Silver-sama sure did ^^ on friday, I started watching Haibane Renmei. and I have to say that I love it. you follow the character of Rakka, a newly-born Haibane, although she has the body and mind of a teenager. she has no knowledge of her life before she became a Haibane even though she has the feeling that she did have a life before that with her parents. the Haibane live in a city that's surrounded by a giant wall, together with humans, though the Haibane have to live in 'nests'. neither the Haibane nor the humans can leave the city. the first DVD was pretty carefree, just an intro into the world of the Haibane and how they live and such. the second DVD however, suddenly became very emotionally demanding. I watched it yesterday and I actually cried while watching. that says a lot, cause usually, I don't cry too easily with any kind of series or movie (except for City of Angels, makes me cry every time I see it..) so it's just a good thing I'm not reading Saikano at the moment, or I'd be mentally exhausted *laughs* saturday was my last day of work at the bookstore. nothing much happened really, except that we got a nice big selection of Valentine's day cards in ^^ I really like them hehe ^^ it was really quiet and quite boring to be honest. so now, I'm a jobless bum again *sigh* but there's more! remember the casino that turned me down about two weeks ago? I got a letter with an invitation to an interview hehe ^^ so either they work completely past each other and the lady didn't throw out my application, or they want to see me even though I'd rather not work on sundays.. now, I'm going to assume the first one, no use in getting false hope, but I'm still going for the interview. it won't be a big problem to work on sundays, but I still need at least one free day per week, since I have to worry about my schoolwork too. not to forget Silver-sama, I need time with him too! but the interview isn't till the 12th of februari, so I've still got time to worry about what I'm going to say ^^ Silver picked me up from work and we bought some booze on the way to my home. we ate and I showered, then packed my stuff and headed for Silvers house. I spend the night there and when Silver-sama went to walk the dog, I had to hurry and get a little romantic surprise, I had in my mind since I saw the VD cards at work, ready. I won't say too much about it, only that it involved lighting a whole lot of candles (didn't think it would take me too long, but Silver returned while I was in the middle of lighting them.. though I was able to hold him outside the room for a while ^^) and a card that said "TmiY". he really enjoyed it and he was actually surprised, which I didn't expect, since I wasn't really subtle with planning it all.. but it was really nice ^^ sunday was a lazy day. we slept in, I more than Silver as usual, and then we just watched some tv. bad experience though: I got a pm from someone who I had a fight with some time ago. I thought it was all over, but I messed up again. I just sat there shaking and send her an angry message. Silver came over to me and asked what was wrong. I let him read her message and while he did, I started crying. he deleted the message and held me until I stopped crying and shaking. later, I decided to send a PM with my apologies and that I want us both to get on with our lives. we have no business together anymore and it's best if we both leave each other alone. it's so hard to try and be a responsible adult.. it's so hard to try and be the bigger person and walk away from this mess. but Silver made me see that if I don't walk away now, I'll never be able to put it past me.. so I'll be the one who stops everything this time. I'm going to ignore anything else she might send me, since it won't do me any good anyway. it's weird learning all this stuff..I'll try my best to learn as soon as possible. to learn from my past and my mistakes. I hope we've got it sorted out now. I'm sick of fighting and remembering. anywho, sunday Silver and me watched the movie Deep Blue Sea. I love it ^^ I mean, huge, smart, sadistic sharks, what's better than that? Silver hadn't seen it yet, but I've seen it like four or five times now ^^ it was fun, though Silver's comments about it sometimes annoyed me.. kind of like my comments annoying him hehe ^^" we ate chinese for dinner and it was soooo yummy ^^ way better than in that restaurant where everything was squishy *laughs* and of course we watched Bones in the evening before he had to take me home again.. I love Bones.. and I think I might start to get used to the new lady.. what's more important to me right now, is what is going on between Hodgins and Angela ^^ I really want to see those two together, even more than I want Tempe and Booth to finally kiss *laughs* by the way, I finally got to see what's in the package Yensid-sensei sent me ^^ YAY let me see if I remember everything: - Cat ears and tail, so very very cute ^^ a must-have for any otaku of course *laughs* - a whole lot of japanese candy ^^ I especially adore the whisting candy. I scared the heck out of Silvers cat with it *laughs* she was hissing at me like crazy ^^" - two bars of chocolate - a little package of coffee, that went to my mom, cause neither Silver nor I drink coffee ^^" - a photobook of Seattle, with the loveliest pictures in it ^^ I really adore that one ^^ - two types of noodles - a Seattle keychain ^^ I love it, it has Shamu on it ^^ and the space needle and of course a ferry ^^ - a shirt, which fits like a glove by the way and it looks really good on me, if I might add *laughs* - a picture bracelet - a friendship bracelet, I really love that one too ^^ and last, but certainly not least, two shot glasses, one with the skyline of Seattle on it, Silver got that one. and the other one was just too perfect for me and I'm sure Yensid bought that one with the post about my first encounter with Tequilla in mind *laughs* it says:"I always take life with a grain of salt, a slice of lemon and a shot of tequilla" that one went home with me ^^ the candy was split pretty evenly, so we both got our fair share of all the stuff ^^ once again, Yensid (and of course, Bunraku too!) thank you so much for all the stuff, I really adore it ^^ and let me know if I forgot anything ^^' yesterday was pretty boring.. had a presentation of the project which went pretty well. after that we had to wait a few hours to get to hear the winner of the project over some drinks. after the winner was announced, everyone disappeared quite quickly, while I was still standing there with a beer in my hands >_< so I joined some teachers who were gossiping about co-workers like they usually do ^^ it's so funny to listen to them talk like that ^^ today, I've got my little 'personal development talk' and the rest of the week I'll be free ^^ yep, we actually have a personal development class.. it's not that bad.. just seems a bit useless at times. as you might have noticed, I've been changing my friendslist again. I've added some people who are new to commenting to my site, but I still have to visit them. please be patient, I'll probably get to it later this week ^^" also, some people who I haven't seen in ages have been deleted. though some are still on it, since they're really close friends or have a very legitimate reason to stay away for so long. anyway, I've been messing around with it again. good news on my 'mooto-chan Magnus, even though most of you have probably read it on her site already: she finally made an appointment with the school counsellor. I hope that he can help her more or at least send her through to someone who can. please still keep her all in your thouhts and prayers, cause admitting to a problem and seeking help doesn't fix it all. well, like Cat said in her last comment to me, my posts aren't getting any shorter and I believe this has been a monster one... I'm going to take a quick nap so I can nearly miss the bus again ^^ much clown love, I'm outta here

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