Monday, February 5, 2007

   I don't wanna be an asshole anymore...

"Last Time Again"-LIT I'm getting rather sick of myself.. post explains I hope.. time: 6.20-7.25 am CET mood: unstable physical condition: a bit of a cold, I think I might get the flu.. ow well currently reading: still the first book of Abarat, oh it's SOOOOO good ^^ song: several different ones are flashing through my head.. weather: wintery hey guys ^^ I hope you all had a nice weekend ^^ I did, even though I was annoyed and annoying for a big part of it.. my birthday was pretty good ^^ Silver-sama and me actually spend a lot of time downstairs with all the guests. thank goodness it's not as busy as with my parents' birthdays.. that would drive us both to insanity.. here's a list of stuff I got: - the software program to edit photos and pictures and the likes - season two and three of Coupling - CSI book Snake Eyes - Amthyst Bookends - the Forensics Casebook (an unexpected gift from Magnus ^^) - some money - some giftcards - a necklace and bracelet which are both pretty cool ^^ they got lots of charms ^^ - a towell - some more towells from my grandma, I'm mentioning these especially cause my grandma refuses to give me money like she usually did. why? cause I want to get a tattoo and she says she doesn't want to pay for that.. *grumbles* in the meantime, she does give money to my cousins who buy piercings from it.. in their faces.. kinda hypocrite.. ow well, one of the towells has got a cow on it and it's pretty cute ^^ I like cows ^^ - the stuff from Yensid and Bunraku, I'm too lazy to sum those up again... - a huge box of chocolates ^^ yummy - and last, but certainly not least! twenty roses from my honey ^^ they're so beautiful ^^ - oh, and then there's the mystery gift from Cat ^^ that's supposed to arrive today, so I'm pretty curious!! Silver-sama slept over at my place that night. we both had some alcohol running through our system.. alright, I had more than him.. but I had to test out my shot glass! so yeah, I drank a few shots of tequilla and it directly became clear to me that my parents have no idea about the concept 'shot'. they kept asking: 'have you drank it all already?!' yes, for crying out loud the concept of having a shot is getting it all down at once! you're not supposed to drink it with little sips *sigh* ow well.. except for my mom complaining I was drinking too much (which didn't really hurt me, since I'd drank too much*laughs*) the evening was good ^^ the first part of the night, I slept with Silver-sama, but early in the morning I decided to make use of my own bed, just in case my parents would check to see if it was used at all that night. so I spend a few hours in my own bed and then returned to Silver-sama, only to wake him up by throwing my cat at him *snickers* to me it was fun ^^ to Silver.. a bit less since I hit him full in the stomache the second time I threw Quinty *laughs* Quinty, by the way, didn't mind at all ^^" she's such a mellow cat hehe ^^ we didn't do much at the beginning of the day. just hang around and I kind of cleaned the presents away. that afternoon Silver-sama and me went to Rotterdam to do a little shopping.. I hate my impulsive self! first, we went to the dvd shop that actually has a BIG (for Dutch standards, mind you!) collection of anime.. and there I bought the Anime Legends box of Onegai Twins and the complete collection box of Tenchi Muyo GXP.. big ouch for my wallet and by the time we were out on the street again, I was regretting my huge purchase.. so I wanted to return the Tenchi box.. stupid store could only give me store-credit, so that sucked and I kept the box, knowing that I would be pretty much broke until I find another job and get some money in.. *sigh* but that didn't stop me.. even though I did have a lot of fun with Silver-sama, I got annoyed by pretty much every little tiny thing and person.. myself in particular.. I was just kind of beating myself up over spending too much money, but I still enjoyed buying the things I bought.. at the end of the day, I was just plain tired and annoyed and pretty much every bone in my body hurt.. I felt icky and wasn't in the best mood ever, so I kind of ruined the day.. or at least, that's how I felt, which annoyed me in return.. anywho, list of what I bought: - Tenchi Muyo GXP - Onegai (Please) Twins - Sensual Phrase manga volume 1 and 2, ok, so it's mature content.. but it's still Shojo and the artwork looked so good. besides, the story attracted me too ^^ and hey, I'm mature! kinda, sorta, maybe ^^" I've just noticed that I'm reading a lot more 'mature' mangas lately (battle vixens, mai-HiMe (man, does that Mai have huge boobs.. not that Hakufu has tiny ones *laughs* and of course all the yaoi in my collection ^^) call me a perv, call me curious, at the end of the day, to me it's just that the art looks so darn good..and I like the storylines. well, not in the yaoi cause I think we all know yaoi has no storyline *laughs* - I bought Silver-sama and me matching rings ^^ they're our promise-rings, meaning that we've promised each other that we will get married when we have the money and opportunity for it ^^ plus, they're just really cool ^^ - Alien 9 DVD, it looked interesting, I have yet to watch it - Silver-sama bought me Fullmetal Alchemist volume 11 and Vampire Knight volume 1. so now, I'm broke again and my ATM-card is currently living in Silver-sama's wallet T_T it's for the best *laughs* a bit later this week, Absolute Boyfriend volume three is coming out and I simply need to have it!! but there's no need to worry about that. I still have a gift certificate for 20 bucks that I got from my parents-in-law ^_~ so that will combine nicely with the new CD of Norah Jones ^^ man, I love her songs ^^ Silver-sama also bought some more stuff.. can't really remember anything except for 'We <3 Katamari'!!! I have been pushing him to buy it so that I could play it hehe and he kept promising me that he would once it was priced a lot lower. so when I saw it priced down to 25 bucks, I knew he might finally get it ^^ and he did YAY ^^ it was fun to play, although the sounds are a bit annoying at times.. and the King.. man, does he ever annoy me, but ow well ^^ nothing says anger-management like rolling everything you can see up into a giant ball ^^ saturday evening was spend watching comedy, one of my favorite comedians ^^ so that lightened up my mood a bit ^^ and after that we didn't do too much.. we just hang around for a bit, I read more of my book, which is soooo good ^^ and Silver-sama.. erhm.. I think he read manga... ^^" then it was time to get some sleep (we were at Silver's place by this time ^^) sunday was a lazy day as usual ^^ I read a lot and we watched some tv and played Katamari ^^ we cooked and in the evening we watched Bones as usual. I'm back to hating the new lady. I was this close to liking her, but then she had to go and screw it all up. literally *sigh* I mean, from Booth, I could expect and accept Rebecca, but Cam?! for crying out loud Booth, if you want someone so badly, take Tempe! you know you want to and you know she wants to!! ARGH!! and as for Hodgins: stop holding back and tell Angela how you really feel already!! I stopped watching CSI:Miami because it began to have too much character development.. more characters and they all got their own little backstory that kept getting bigger and bigger until the cases didn't matter anymore (they actually brought on a lot of sloppy cases, some of which weren't really solved or closed by the end of an episode, which annoyed me to hell) I stopped watching CSI:New York cause it was, well.. depressing.. the cases weren't great and the overall feeling of the series was.. grey. I don't want to stop watching Bones, for now they still have some pretty interesting cases (though the man with two lives thing I've already seen in either CSI or Law and Order..) and I still want to see what will happen with the characters. I'm just not sure what they'll do in the character development department.. well, as long as the cases stay interesting, they won't lose me as a viewer, but I'm just scared that they will stray too far from the actual concept. only time will tell. has anyone ever noticed, that at the end of crime shows like Bones, Law and Order and CSI, they usually play these really good touching songs?! someone should make a cd with all those songs... when Silver-sama had to bring me home, he had to scratch the ice off his car.. we left earlier than usual, which turned out to be a pretty smart idea. once we drove into my little town, I started crying my eyes out.. Silver stopped and he just held me and asked me what was wrong.. I'm just dealing with some heavy anxiety for the coming block at school. I'm supposed to be a stronger, more open Lytjuh the coming few months but I guess I'm just really scared that I won't be able to do that.. I will try my best, but I'm scared my best won't be good enough.. thank goodness Silver-sama was able to comfort me and just hold me when I needed him to. gotta love them hormones *crooked smile* I'm just glad I have my honey who can lend me strength and make me not hate myself ^^ I've decided to try and take this (meaning this weekend and my 20th birthday) as a turning point. I will have to be taking responsibility for my own actions (Silver-sama offered to lend me money, but I declined.) and I'll have to be a stronger person after all. and of course, turning points come with a new theme ^^ it's Reki, from Haibane Renmei. I've chosen her cause she's a lot like me. she needs help, but she waits for people to come and help her, all the while smiling and being nice and helpful to others, hoping that will make her a better person. she doesn't reach out, not until it's almost too late. but in the end, she does ask for help and she is saved, from more than you can imagine. I want to give my thanks to Knight's Edge for making such a lovely wallpaper ^^ I hadn't been able to find a good one and he still owed me a favor ^_~ I hope you guys like it too ^^ I'll probably work some more on it once I've got my new software installed. but for now this will have to do *nods* I've got a pretty harsh week of school ahead of me, so I can't promise anything about visits and or comments. I'll try my best to get to people who've updated while I'm awake, but I won't have much time or enery.. sorry guys, please keep in mind that I try my best to get to you all!! special shoutout: happy birthday to Yensid-sensei!!! JD-kun: none of the naughtier of sorts happened!! Grifter-san: does this answer your question with regards to my posts? *laughs* much clown love, I'm outta here.

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