Thursday, March 8, 2007

   It's been a bad day, please don't take a picture...

R.E.M., beats me what song it's from... time: 9.00-9.36 am CET mood: actually rested and cheery physical condition: my voice is hoarse, but I've decided to ignore the cold until it goes away *nods* currently reading: still the same two books.. though I should be able to finish Japan today. song: Kickstart my Heart from.. I dunno >_< it just got stuck in my head.. weather: it's quite lovely, sunny but cold.. official baby fish count: dunno, I do know there are at least six new little ones in the big tank *shakes head* well, the past few days haven't been all that great.. even though it looked like it thanks to my last post, since I let all the negative stuff out.. so I'll just list them all in this post YAY ^^ I've been having trouble breathing again.. I blame the cold, dry air and my cold..thank goodness it isn't as bad as it was during the weekend and thank goodness Silver-sama was there during the really bad attacks to calm me down *hugs him* the pressure to get a job has been getting worse. but in my defence, I did finally send an application letter to the hotel in my town, so now I just have to wait and hope it gets me a nice new job ^^' I'm being plagued by headaches and evil lack of sleep.. this is affecting my work at school and especially in the project.. there are a lot of tensions in the project and I seem to be VERY vulnerable to the 'bad vibrations'.. yesterday I broke down and cried my eyes out at school.. thank goodness it was just after the last class, so I could go home without too much questioning. I saw Natasja and Sarah on the subway platform (two gals I get along with) and first I didn't want to talk about it.. I called Silver-sama at work and he calmed me down a bit. after that, I told the two girls that things just aren't going well in my head.. and that's true. it feels like I'm breaking up inside.. my head is filled with something that could resemble static noise, especially in busy rooms.. it feels like I'm going crazy.. but I blame my total lack of sleep and the stress that is coming my way thanks to school and loads of extra assignments next to the project. I also had to throw away my number one and two favorite pair of jeans >_< you could almost see through them and although Silver-sama would have found it fun, I really can't walk around on the streets like that ^^" so they both had to go.. *sob* it does however mean that my mom won't complain about me buying new pants YAY ^^ I ordered new jeans and a pair of white worker pants (which are going to come in really handy for my Winry cosplay!! yes, I've decided, it will be Winry Rockbell (Fullmetal Alchemist) I'll be cosplaying as ^^ I also found the perfect top for it and now all I need are some workgloves, slippers and a red bandana ^^ now that shouldn't be too hard to get together ^^ *excited*) I had to vote yesterday.. something about the regional governments and such.. I never find I really hard to vote, since I always just go for the not-so-uptight-Christian party and as for the person.. the first one on the list ^^ unless I actually know someone on the list (like some time ago, the father of an old friend of mine was on the list, so I voted for him ^^) maybe if I looked into politics some more, I'd change party.. but I don't have the time, energy or interest to really pay attention to all those politicians.. I know *bad*! as far as I'm concerned, I just make it a habit of not voting for the parties that keep having their commercials on tv and posters at the busstops around election time.. I mean, the rest of the year, you don't hear anything from them either.. so why bother? anywho, that was my little voting rant ^^ Silver-sama came by yesterday and we had a good talk about why I've been feeling so crappy lately.. it seems the darkness is pulling harder than ever and it's getting harder for me to fight back.. but don't worry guys, I won't end this post on a sad note ^^ anywho, Silver made me calm down, let all the worries just slip away and made me feel LOADS better ^^ I was also glad that Natasja talked to me on MSN ^^ I feel like she could be a great friend ^^ actually, she is, I'm just scared to call her my friend. I've been fooled before.. I still feel like I should get more rest and sleep.. but after two nights of sleeping as if I had been K/O'd by some big wrestler Silver-sama probably knows the name of (thanks to a sleeping pill per night) I feel stronger again. maybe not strong enough to completely fight off the darkness, but strong enough to hold on until the weekend, when things should get better ^^ I feel more calm and the noise in my head seems to have somewhat disappeared. so don't worry about me ^^ well, I should be getting ready for yet another day at school ^^ I think I might tell my project group that not all is going well in the head of the Lytjuh, so that they won't decide to throw me out of the group if my work starts to suffer under it.. better safe than sorry, I need to be more open with my classmates anyway ^^' oh and MUAHAHAHAH!!! I fooled a lot of you, didn't I? English isn't my first language indeed, it's Dutch ^^ though lately, I seem to be better in English than Dutch.. my groupmates asked me to translate an English text since they didn't understand it and after a while I was like: "well, I know what this means, but what the heck is it in Dutch >_<" ah, fun times ^^ well, I really ought to get going, but in the meantime lets all drink one on Kikyo27's birthday! which was yesterday, but who cares ^_~ this one's for you Kelly: much clown love, I'm outta here

Comments (7)