Friday, May 11, 2007

I won't be held down by who I used to be!

hey guys!! well, a quick (and very long) post before going to college and then heading out to Silver-sama's ^^ (actually, it's 9 am here now and I need to take the bus to Rotterdam at 1 pm, but I've got a lot left to do, like shower *looks at hair* icky >_< ) I slept like crap yet again ^^" this time without a sleeping pill. I mean, if they make me sleep like crap anyway, why bother taking them? I'll try to ease off them for a while again now (and not because my mom asked me if I take them during the day *rolls eyes*) maybe after not taking them for a while they'll work better again ^^ I just hope the weird dreams don't return.. last time I stopped taking the pills, I started having pretty disturbing dreams.. ow well, last night I dreamt about the Anime Con, so for now I should be fine ^^ it was a fun dream, for as long as it lasted.. I also know painkillers, especially aspirin, help with sleeping.. but I'm just at a point right now where I know I should stop taking pills to try and get sleep for a while. the sleeping pills have a slight addictive side to them >_< on to more fun things! my cat, Quinty, recently found out there's an open bowl with fish in my room: the baby-fish bowl. so she decided she just HAD to check it out *laughs* lots of wet paw prints throughout my room of course and when I let her get close to it, she decided she just wanted to drink. and of course, my fish are stupid enough to go: "hey! what's that?!" and all swim towards Quinty's tongue.. well, they learned not to do that soon enough *laughs* (I had a kitty-pic to go with that, but going through over 3000 pics every time I want to post a kitty gets tiring.. sorry guys, not today. well.. maybe at the end ^_~) when I went to sign the contract with the SHOEstore (hehe, this is for everyone who might've missed me getting a new job or forgetting *winks at Yensid-sensei*. I'll be selling shoes to people YAY ^^ once again, this could've come with a kitty-pic but meh.. I will however be able to stop the shiny red shoes from taking over the world *shudders* I'll just advice everyone to buy something else ^^) alright, where was I going.. oh yes, to sign the contract. well, I was wearing a skirt. yes people, Lytjuh actually does wear skirts from time to time (only because I recently found out Silver-sama has a special liking for them *laughs*) now, I never even consider thinking of myself as a 'looker' but I have to say, I turned quite a few heads *grins to herself* it made me feel rather selfconscious but pretty good at the same time ^^ that is, as long as it wasn't some creepy old guy looking *sigh* just wanted to get that out of my system ^^ oh, I think I know why I've been sleeping crappy and been feeling depressed and well.. bad about myself. I don't really want to discuss it on here, but I think some people might know what I'm talking about and if you really want to know, PM me and maybe I'll tell you all about it. it's just memories that have been popping up of the same time last year.. sucks I know, but I hope that with a few weeks it'll be gone. I wish I hadn't been the person I was back then and I wish I could just take a pill, go to sleep and wake up as if nothing happened, with all those memories erased from my mind. (very Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind ya know?) but unfortunately, fiction is not real life and I'll have to deal with my memories myself. enough whining. I've stooped to a new low. I asked my brother if maybe he could loan me some money to pay for the ticket to England (7th through 14th of July *winks at Yensid-sensei again*) it's not that I don't have the money.. I just need to.. get it.. does that make sense? problem is, I want to have money for the Anime Con too, which is 1st,2nd and 3rd of June AND I have to order my ticket ASAP or it'll get more expensive again.. so a lot of costs in the same month, or at least at once.. we'll see what happens, I'm sure I'll find a way out of my financial problems ^^ I mean, it's not like it's money for a DVD or something, this is money for something that simply cannot wait ^^ in other news.. it's been raining a lot out here lately.. it sucks really.. it was so nice and warm last week and now it's been nothing but rain *le sigh* I've been making some wallies again and they actually got accepted (YAY for me!!) I'm especially proud of this one: Hosted By theOtaku.com. I just really, really like it ^^" ok, I don't know much else to say and I actually feel like taking a little nap.. have a great weekend everyone!! *hugs for all* much clown love, I'm outti.

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