Monday, June 11, 2007

Will it ever get any better? Or will I feel this way the rest of my life? I just can't get it together and now and then I'm losing my mind..

hey guys! well, I thought I'd keep up the humongous post about the Con for a while, due to the just plain sad turnup.. oh well, six comments lies around the number I've been getting lately, so I guess it's time for a new post. not all has been well in the land of the Lyds yet again *sigh* college is becoming a big pain and a huge source of stress and worries. I NEED to pass my midterms this week, or I won't be allowed to go on an internship next year (meaning I'll get kicked out) to make matters worse, I need to do a resit for the conversation bit of the project.. as some of you might know, I had to do a conversation with an 'angry customer' and try to get things worked out. I horribly failed that thing and thought it wouldn't be too much of a big deal.. well, it is. I'm currently at 40% as far as my grade for the group project stands. if I don't pass the resit, I'll have to redo the COMPLETE FREAKIN' project >_< I really can't have that happening now!! but what makes it so horrible is that I now have to prepair for all SEVEN meetings that have been held this year and have to do TWO RANDOM talk, which the teacher will pick!! that just gets me angry. I have to study for my midterms, get an assignment in order AND prepair for sever freaking conversations while only two will be tested.. it's just too much for me to handle right now.. I was with Silver when I found out about the project and I just started bawling my eyes out.. it was too much.. I basically broke down and gave up hope.. I have been pretty down lately as it is anyway.. for some reason, I don't think I can handle much more.. I'm done for this year I think. maybe it's because of my new job that's draining me, maybe it's because I'm desperate for summer to come around, I don't know.. all I know is that I just want college to be over with already.. alright, enough whining. there have been good things too, of course and I need to focus on those ^^ I watched Midori Days and it was so cute and funny and kind of weird at times ^^" but I'm really glad that I bought the series ^^ or got it from Silver-sama, I can't remember *laughs* I think when I have the time I'll start on Kare Kano (his and her circumstances) but I'll probably only get around to watching the Saikano OVA this week.. on second thought, maybe that's not very smart, considering the emotional state I'm in right now ^^" ow well, I'll see, college comes first this week.. I've also been reading a lot of my yaoi. some of it has been pretty plain disturbing, but others were downright cute and sexy ^^ I finished Yellow, which is just a great series of four volumes and I'm currently reading Saihoshi the Guardian, which is a lot more graphic than most yaoi I'm used to.. oh well, I enjoy it anyway hehe ^^ (call me a pervert all you want, I just have my preferences tee-hee) after Saihoshi I'll take a break from the boy's love and will probably start reading CardCaptor Sakura again, now that I have all volumes and can read it in the right order hehe ^^ (and now don't start with me about the yaoi theme in there, cause I know! I need to move away from it slowly, or I'll get withdrawal symptoms ^_~) speaking of withdrawal, I'm afraid my sleeping pills are back on their addictive track.. it worries me, but I just have to be strong and I'll probably ask the doc about it when I go and see him again (which should be in a couple weeks) ah yes, the weekend.. I had great fun with Silver-sama ^^ work on saturday was hard as hell, since I had to take care of the women's department this time, instead of the kids and men.. it was straight horror.. getting asked questions from different sides, getting boxes handed to you with the words 'you can put those back' and worst of all: they totally wreck the place! they put the shoes back where they don't belong and then it's up to me to find out where they did have to go and which shoes needed to go where they were put.. also, I don't really like my boss.. he's the manager, but he just doesn't have the right people skills to handle me I think.. he was downright blunt and mean at times and making me look like a complete idiot in front of the customers.. so what if I can't find something, it was my freakin fourth day and my first day with the ladies.. oh well, maybe he'll warm up to me and if not, I just have to remember that in a few months I'll be at the new store in my own town, with the boss-lady I do like ^^ where was I going with this.. oh yes, the weekend ^^ Silver came over here on saturday and after dinner we headed out to his place ^^ the weekend mostly consisted out of sleeping and playing/cuddling with the kitten, Tika, who has received the loving name of Tikachu from me *chuckles* she really is the cutest thing alive if you ask me, with those googley eyes and that little rat-like tail *snickers* she still needs to fill up on fur hehe ^^ she's really playful and sweet and even though she bites a lot, she doesn't bite hard all the time and makes up with little licks when she does. I also discovered that she is a wonderful way of tickling Silver without really doing anything myself hehe ^^ don't worry, my head did not explode into candy yet ^^ well, that's about it from me (it's long enough ne?) I have to get to studying for my spanish this afternoon >_< give your love and best wishes to Silver-sama please, he's kinda sick, poor darling *hugs to him* well, I'll see you all around *hugs to all* much clown love, I'm outti. ps: I'll put up links to the kitteh sites for all of you wondering where all my lovely pics come from ^^ OH! and happy birthday Alex!! (DestinySweetMan)!!!

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