Thursday, July 19, 2007

   Ebay, wallpapers and procrastination

hey guys!! I'm actually going to do this today, so this post should be a bit longer than the last one *laughs* I think I scared some people with the fact that it was only a paragraph long.. but Edge and me have worked it out: it was to compensate for his huge post ^_~ well, as I said, days have been lazy for me ^^ when I called work on monday to ask when I was next expected, I got the answer I did not want to hear: "at twelve" wha..today? "yep, today" so I had to get dressed and eat something, cause all of a sudden, I had to be at work within an hour and a half. after a tiring and pretty much boring day of helping customers, running from one floor to another (we have two floors at our store) and moving shoeboxes around so that the new shipment fitted in, I was pretty much dead. I didn't feel like doing anything in the evening. I tried watching Raptor, but bailed out after ten minutes. then I just decided to take my last two sleeping pills and go to sleep. tuesday was an alright day. didn't do much at all, except for making that one wallpaper. oh, I went to the doctor too.. [sarcasm]gee, that was one of my best ideas yet [/sarcasm] I told him that I'm afraid that my pills don't really work anymore.. I've been having more and more suicidal thoughts again and I'm restless all day. next to that, I hardly sleep anymore. I just can't sleep, but there's nothing keeping me up. so instead of giving me slightly stronger meds, what I was hoping for, he's sending me back to the screw-ups that made me need pills in the first place. psychologist. I hope this time I don't get an old fart who is about to retire and therefor doesn't give a fuck about me anyway.. also, I hope this time they come with some real advice instead of: "it's all your own fault and you're the only one who can do something about it. there is no one who can assist or back you up in this." yeah, thanks guys! *sticks up two thumbs combined with the most sarcastic smile possible* and as if that isn't bad enough, it might even take a month or so until I even hear from these people, since it's the vacation period. yeah, sure, my depression will take a few weeks off too! trains don't go either, right? bridges and high buildings are closed during vacation, right? knives go blunt, right? I don't want to worry anyone with this, but I'm trying to get my point accross. I feel like I MIGHT do something to endanger my own life soon and what do I get to hear? "sorry, not now, it's the vacation period" >_< great help. *sighs and shakes head* there, now that that's out of my system, lets get back to happier stuff ^^ I've been on a wallpaper making spree ^^ I'm having so much fun doing them hehe ^^ mostly because it relaxes me and I actually really love my own work (if I may say so) I'll post up the last five I made yesterday at the end of this post ^^ I've been downloading skins for backgrounds, since I don't seem to be able to make them myself.. but I found some good, free ones ^^ also, I've been bidding on Grifter comics on Ebay. man, that site is addictive!! I have to be careful hehe ^^" I tried to win on a Grifter statue, but that suddenly went over 20bucks, which was just too much for me (I was in the lead with 15 for a while though ^_~) I did win on a set of 16 comics, for the very reasonable price of $10.50. I've still got my eyes on some other sets that are being offered, though one of them is just evil! it's a set of *thinks* 12 comics from 1996, which are damn hard to find.. but the current bid is already over 20 bucks and that's without shipping costs for me, so I think I won't bid on that one.. on tuesday evening, or rather, night, I chatted with Matt (Magnus' brother) which was a lot of fun and actually brightened my day a little (I was feeling really lonely..) we chatted until 4am and by that time, I wasn't able to keep my eyes open anymore *laughs* so he forced me to get some sleep ^^" yesterday we talked again, but this time he had to leave early cause his dad needed the comp.. you'd think that it got me some sleep, but even with the sleeping pill I took, I hardly slept. woke up every few hours. and today, I was woken up by the freaking painters.. the front of our house it getting a fresh new paintjob, but unfortunately, these people find it necessary to start at 8am and yell a lot to each other >_< so that wasn't a fun start of the day.. oh well, I'm awake now anyway.. I've got two episodes of House waiting on me, and since this time my brother isn't at home to hog the tv downstairs, I think I'm going to watch those ^^ I wanted to watch them yesterday, but my bro was watching a DVD downstairs. that pissed me off, since House is on video.. my bro has TWO dvdplayers and at least two VCRs.. I on the other hand, only have my one dvdplayer which likes to fuck things up *sigh* oh well I'll visit later today, when it's less hot in my room. my fingers are all tingly, which I know can't be a good thing.. feels really weird.. and on that bombshell, it's time to end the show! (damn you Jeremy Clarkson!!) much clown love, I'm outti Hosted By theOtaku.com. Hosted By theOtaku.com. Hosted By theOtaku.com. Hosted By theOtaku.com. Hosted By theOtaku.com. this one is in the featured wallpaper section today *proud* it also happens to be my favorite for now ^^ (next to the one from yesterday) feel free to check them out a bit bigger by clicking on them ^^ feedback is very much appreciated ^^ I'll probably make more again today ^^ *hugs to everyone who read this far*

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