Friday, October 19, 2007

   long time no see...

hey guys. I hope you are all doing well and feeling alright. I apologise for my lack of visits. just haven't had the energy for it. plus, I'm still being plagued by terrible headaches, which start at the base of my skull, work their way through my head to the front to make it feel like something is pushing my eyes out.. not a very nice feeling. well, I haven't been doing too good lately. I don't like to be at home, I feel uneasy and anxious. been having more panic attacks, this time including me digging my nails into my own arm to make me concentrate on something. in this case, the pain.. I'm also not feeling very wanted at college. I discovered I'll be missing out on ten points instead of five, so it's going to be a bit more stressy for me next block. then there's the case with me and Silver's mom.. I kind of can't stand her lately and apparently, she can't stand me neither. Silver explained my situation to her and now she wants a closer bond with me.. I'm not too sure about that.. I'd be fine with her getting off my case and letting me enjoy my time with Silver.. *shrugs* at work, I feel a little better. if you don't count the one coworker who likes to throw stuff at me.. and the lazy one, though I hardly ever see him anymore anyway ^^ it appears that he's had his final warning already and needs to be careful not to get fired.. while walking home with my boss today (I always walk with her to her car, since it's on my route anyway) we were just talking and I almost wanted to ask if I could just come with her.. I REALLY didn't want to go home.. I feel like I'm being in the worst place I can be. I'm at the stage where I don't really want to come out of bed anymore.. and that's a stage I had hoped I could stay away from.. like I said, college is sending me through to a therapist. I need to make my own appointments and it could very well last a few weeks before it's my turn. so I'm not really holding my breath for it.. *shrugs again* well, I hope to feel better next week, when I'll be back and will hopefully be visiting again. your postly LOLcat before I leave: ok, it's a LOLsloth.. I'm usually digusted by these creatures, and they scare me to death being able to give me nightmares.. but this one is just funny ^^ here's a kitten to make the scare go away ^^ (just in case there are people like me out there ^^") in other, quick, news. the design for my next tattoo is getting selected. here are the current favorites for my shoulder: and the one who I'm rooting for right now (I fell in love with it just a few minutes ago when Silver showed it to me) MCL, have a nice weekend and I'm outti.

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