Monday, May 15, 2006

I had a lot o' luck, but it's all been bad...

heya peoples!!! things are going.. well, not the way they should... I totally lost al motivation to go to school, I think I'm going to fail my make up test from portugese, I'm just totally stressed out over just about everything going on in my life right now and I'm getting way too little sleep.. to top that all off I've got a terrible cold that keeps sapping energy from me... other than that? well, one of my fish is dieing.. I named him Topsy cause he keeps swimming upside down.. and then there are all the orders we placed recently: the pocky, the Full Metal Panic and the last manga order... they're all fucked up... something was wrong with my bf's creditcard so the pocky and FMP never got paid and the orders got cancelled.. and for the manga... one manga wasn't in stock, so they're keeping the entire order until they can send everything at once.. what I would like to do most now? crawl into bed and stay there for at least a month, watching anime and reading manga, maybe playing some video games and talking to people online, only coming out for food and bathroom breaks... *sighs* I wish I could escape this life for a while, lead a completely different one and then return as if nothing happened... but alas, this life is unescapable, with me having to pass my midterms and therefor having to go to school... I skipped more classes last week and today than I even did during highschool.. and I'm going to be completely screwed if I don't go the classes I have left... something is taking my time away from me and I can't figure out what it is... so once again I have to tell you all: I'm very sorry if I don't visit.. I just don't have the energy and somehow not the time to do it... my free time will probably go to WDX, my boyfriend, my manga and anime and the tv.. I feel like I lost myself if that makes any sense to anyone.. I wish I could tell everyone over here at home that I'll be leaving for a while to find myself and I'll get back when I'm done... if I had the money and the time I'd probably catch a flight and visit some of the friends I found here.. I'd love to see Magnus, Grifter, Ran-chan and lots of others in real life.. it would be so great to meet you all... it should be fun to travel through the US, seeing all the sights and meeting the wonderful people that fill my life since I joined this site.. I just don't think I'll ever be able to.. well, if I go on, this will become a post filled with whining and impossible dreams.. I'm feeling gloomy again lately... I hate this feeling.. I hate this stress and I just want everything to stop.. I just wish there was a way to step out of all this.. I know there is one, but.. well, let me just say, I never want to go there again.. I know now that there are people that care about me without ever having seen me face to face. people that will miss me when I'm gone and will remember me with love in their hearts.. I can't let those people down. I will keep going till I crash and even if I do, I know those people will pick me up again, hold me close and take away my sorrow so that I can move on. I know they take care of me even if they are far away... you all know who you are *hugs everyone* (for everyone who can't read that, it says: "Suicide? To tell the truth, I disapprove of suicide more than anything") happier notes: -there are now three tiny baby newts in my old fish tank. they look very cute and I hope my parents don't mind if I keep them in there.. I'd love to see them grow up.. -I've been watching more anime thanks to a great link on Blaized's site ^_^ I've seen all of Love Hina Again in Japanese which was really great, since I hated the dubbed version.. I've also seen the first episode of Loveless, whih is a bit confusing, but it looked really promising ^_^ -my work is still fun, I'm loving it and I'm so glad that I found a job that I like again ^_^ and they actually tell me I'm doing good too ^_^ -the weekend was wonderful and I completely spend my free time with my boyfriend ^_^ and a little on WDX of course ^_~ well, no comments on comments, I got homework to do and CSI to watch.. I'm outta here bonus greeting of the day:

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