Wednesday, October 4, 2006

Memories, they keep coming through. The good ones hurt more than the bad ones do..

"Forever not yours"- A-Ha adore this quote, cause it's also true... letting go of a friend hurts. like hell. had a few bad days, but I finally decided to freaking pick myself up and stop torturing myself. so I removed all texts, emails and usernames of said friend. it's time to move on, and not seeing his name everywhere will make it easier on me I believe. though he's still free to come back into my life of course. but we'll have to start from scratch again. it's inevitable. we needed to start our friendship over again anyway. things went way wrong. but although the memories hurt, I'm not going to let go of them. I like my memories. on to daily life. had a few bad days as said. why? cause I hadn't had a happy-pill in two days. it takes a long time for them to work, but when they do start working and you stop taking them, you see the difference very fast!! so I started to get the feeling that I was going crazy again. I couldn't take any stress or anything and cried faster again. and it was my own stupid fault hehe ^^' I ran out of pills on saturday and forgot to make a doctors appointment on friday.. so I was stuck on sunday and monday without a pill, cause monday, I HAD to be in school. on tuesday, I did go to the doc. he said that it was a good sign of the pills working for me, seeing as how I started feeling that I didn't have them anymore very soon (does that make sense?) so he advised me to keep taking them. now I have a stash to last me six weeks and then I have to come back again. we jokingly talked about putting a bed in his office for me, so that I could just live there hehe ^^ plus, he gave me some more sleeping pills, cause gosh, they help a lot ^^ I like sleeping. a lot!!! I hate the days that I can't take one though (I take them every other day, so that I don't become fully dependent) or rather, nights. I hardly sleep then.. I'm going to have to be concentrating on surviving my projectgroup for the coming few weeks. stupid stress-chickens.. they drive me crazy and blame me for everything. there is no I in team, they should be supporting me too. but they seem to have forgotten about that bit.. ow well, just a few more weeks ^^' I won't make this too long ^^ YAY for you guys ^^ enough whining from me. Silver-sama came by on tuesday to make me feel better. I cried in his arms. it was good. tomorrow we're going to see Snakes on a Plane, finally!! can't wait actually YAY especially cause I still have some free tickets laying around ^^ so tomorrow should be good. that's all from me today, I'll try to post more often again so that the posts don't become too long. I'm outta here

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