Friday, October 20, 2006

   Something has got to go wrong, cause I'm feeling way too damn good...

"Feeling way too damn good"-Nickelback other fitting titles: 'God must hate me, maybe you should pray for me' "God must hate me"-Simple Plan 'Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you, when you think everything's ok' "Ironic"-Alanis Morissette 'Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?' "Why does it always rain on me?"-Travis 'This world will never give you something, it can't take away.' "can't remember the song's name.."-Bon Jovi should I go on? anyway, when it rains, it pours and just when you think the sky is going to clear, it pours some more.. maybe I should explain myself.. had my appraisal conversation yesterday as you all know.. turns out, they're not going to renew my contract.. so starting november second, I'll be jobless again.. I thought things were going so well there.. I always have loads of fun with the people I work with and I just love the job!! there's always something to do and I just can't sit still.. I love learning more about different drinks and wines and all.. but once again, I'm getting fired.. I don't fit into the team enough according to my boss.. didn't see that coming at all!!! I'm not flexible enough and the people adapt to me rather than the other way around. I'm too much of a solist, I work on my own rather than with other people (I did know that..) plus, he thinks I can't handle the pressure of school and work.. well DAH! not right now! but that's just because of this stupid depression that won't go away!! it's all because I need to take those fucking pills to keep myself happy!! I can't sleep at night and I'm just too exhausted for school..it will all get better once my body gets fully used to the pills!!*kicks something, then takes a deep breath* but at work, I got some rest. I got to focus my mind on doing my job and I fucking enjoyed it!! I really thought that they were going to keep me on longer.. but I guess it's back to the ads again to see where they are looking for people.. the trouble is, I bought my phone because I thought that I would have a job for a lot longer so I could afford it.. so now, I have to find a way to get at least 25 bucks each month until I have a job again.. plus, I automatically save 20 bucks each month, so I have to find a way to get those too.. even though both my mom and Silvereagle-sama have offered to pay it for a while, I just wish that I could stay at my job.. my boss said that I could just take my remaining days off, but I think I'll just fill my contract. it's a bit more money in the bank and a few more days of having fun with my co-workers ^^ he said that he thinks that's very strong of me. don't know what that's supposed to mean, but to me it's simple. I enjoy my work and if I get to do it a few more days, that's good for me ^^ though maybe I'll only fill this week.. I don't really know for sure yet, but I'll just see how today and tomorrow go. if it doesn't feel right, I'm going to tell my boss I want the last few days off. also, he said that it took him a very long time and a lot of doubting to make this decision.. it's nice of him to say that, but in the end, it still turned out bad for me.. it's just that everytime I think I've got my life on tracks again, everytime I think: 'This time, everything IS going to be alright. I AM going to make it through and I AM going to be fully happy again.' something bad happens to me.. this summer has been hell. I thought life had thrown all shit it had at me, but appearently, there's more to come.. well the only thing it can take away from me now, are my boyfriend and my imooto-chan and I pray to God that I can at least keep that bit of happiness in my life.. I must have some hell of a bad karma hanging around me.. anywho.. after that shock, I still had to go to school.. it was ok, not really good but meh.. I got to make an appointment with a dean for next week. or maybe school counselor is a better word. stupid thing from me:I told my mom.. so now she's pretty pissed at me.. ow well, bring it all on.. anyone else want to kick me while I'm down? after school, I went to the stores and spend the fifty bucks that were in my piggy bank. Silver-sama said that it was ok. so I bought the complete series DVD box of Rune Soldier, just because it looked really good. and I bought some more yaoi manga. actually, I wanted Loveless volume 3, but they didn't have it.. then I wanted something for Silver-sama, but then my eye caught the yaoi and a quick decision was made ^^ after that, I'm now completely broke.. ow well I went to Silver-sama's, cried my eyes out half the evening (dammit, I really wish I could do something now to keep my job..) but we also did some fun things ^^ we went to the stores to buy balloons for my stupid Creative Skills presentation for today (which went well by the way) and we bought some Magic cards.. well.. some might be a little bit of an understatement.. I bought (with Silver-sama's money) a new deck and a lot of boosters and extra cards ^^ the Slivers and Shadows are coming back, so if I buy some more cards, my decks might actually be a match to Silver-sama's ^^ (ow and to all of you who don't understand a thing of what I'm saying.. don't bother asking, cause it's kinda hard to explain if you don't know Magic: The Gathering, but it's a trading card game ^^) he also bought me some candy yummm ^^ and I think that was all we bought ^^(well, he bought a deck for himself too) then we went back to his house, but not before stopping by the take-out chinese to get something to snack! why? cause his mom's food tasted like.. well, nothing really O_o she uses no salt at all!!! I can't live without salt.. I love salty and spicy foods!!! but anywho, we got soemthing to snack, went back to his house and watched Will&Grace and CSI: New York ^^ after that, I had to make some homework and then we played a quick game of Magic ^^ and then it was time for me to go again T_T today was not all that bad up to now. school was meh as usual, but I skipped the last class cause I had no energy whatsoever. when I got home, my mom and I quickly ate some bread and then I went to bed. slept for a few hours until my mom came and woke me up. then I started on this post ^^ I'll have to change clothes pretty soon, eat and then go to work.. omg.. it's the last time I get to fool around with Evelien and Paulien.. friday evenings are the BEST!! I always have so much fun on those ^^ ow well, better enjoy the last one then ^^ as for me visiting, I've been very bad lately.. but I will try to return guestbook entries and pm's during the coming week. by the way: YAY for getting fifteen comments yesterday, it has been a long time since that happened to me.. makes me feel loved, so thank you all *hugs everyone* well, time to get ready. I'm outta here

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