Friday, October 27, 2006

   I'm not scared, just changing. Right behind a sigarette and a devilish smile.

"I'm not Dead"-Pink. well, it's me, but without the sigarette ^^' I'm changing alright.. or rather, getting adjusted to things some more.. *sigh* I've been crying less, sleeping better and worrying less. though you really couldn't tell the last couple of days, sorry honey *hugs* I'm trying so hard, but it seems that time doesn't heal all wounds after all.. but I will keep trying my best ^^ I just need to find some way to get closure, I think. ok, enough of my whining.. the last couple of days have been pretty good ^^ Silvereagle-sama is a wonderful help as always *hugs him* he keeps trying to cheer me up, but maybe I'm just feeling like this because of lack of sleep (I'm trying not to take the sleeping pills anymore, unless I really need one) wasn't I going to stop whining? tuesday evening, I cleaned out my closet. man, was that ever needed!! I got rid of a whole lot of clothing (it all goes to my mother's best friend, who sends it to Russia I think.. charity ^^ YAY) so now it's all neat and cleaned and just so much better hehe ^^ and after that I hung around behind the computer for a while (I could've worked on the website I need to make for my projectgroup.. or looked up info for my upcoming midterms.. but I played a game hehe ^^') and then I was just so darn tired that I had to get some sleep. on wednesday, I left for Silvereagle-sama in the morning, after visiting some sites and packing my stuff. at the train station, I learned that they had changed the schedule for the trains, meaning that there will now be just one train every hour that can get me to him *sigh* it used to be two and the new schedule means that I have to wait almost half an hour for the train to come.. bleh! but I took another train so that he had to pick me up on the station before his and so that I didn't have to wait that long hehe. but it was so cold, that I first treated myself to some nice hot cocoa with whipped cream in the little restaurant thingy yummmm when I finally got to his place, I slept for a while, cause I hardly slept all night and when I was a bit rested, we went on our way to the beach ^^ hehe, it took us about an hour and a half to get there, cause Silver-sama took the wrong turn *hugs him* (on the way back, it took us less than an hour.. ow well ^^) we went to Sea-Life, an aquarium and I love it there ^^ well, as many of you know, I love aquariums and zoos, so I was really in my element ^^ I finally got to see an octopus in real life!! I'd never seen one for real, just on tv and pictures ^^ but they have one over there, though usually it is hidden in this pipe.. but this time, it was under some rocks and you could see it *happy* Silver-sama had a hard time getting me to move on from in front of that tank hehe ^^" I also love the sea-horses. they always look so peaceful ^^ Silver-sama got me a magnetic, plush octopus, a little snow-globe and a tiny mood-ring (I slipped that in when he went to pay hehe) at the gift-shop ^^ then we ate at an actual restaurant ^^ I had a huge steak, of course, still bleeding and mooing when I put my fork in it, just the way I like it hehe ^^ and a huge baked potatoe with loads of garlic sauce.. can't help it, it's just sooooo yummy!!! I actually didn't have any room left for desert and neither did Silver-sama *le gasp* I've never seen him not finishing his plate and not being able to eat desert.. it was pretty cheap, but we just got so much food for that price ^^ and it was sooo yummy ^^ enough about the food hehe ^^" after we ate, we walked on the beach for a bit. it felt really good, though if you ask me, it could've been a bit more windy ^^ I love to just let all my worries blow away on the beach ^^ it got dark pretty soon and the lights of the pier and the Kuhrhaus (a hotel in Scheveningen) were so pretty ^^ I'll try to post a few pictures in a few days, don't really feel like messing with photobucket right now. then it was time to go home. we watched some tv when we got there and I just was so tired.. I went to sleep pretty early, but I hardly slept all night. I felt pretty horrible cause I didn't take any sleeping pills with me, but in the end, I'd rather lay awake every night in the arms of Silver-sama than to have good nights of sleep by myself. thursday morning.. can't really remember what we did.. I visited some sites and we just relaxed for a bit ^^ in the afternoon we went shopping YAY ^^ I had to look for a new sweater, PJ's and sheets for my bed.. I ended up only finding PJ's, but they're so darn cute ^^ it has little monkeys all over it ^^ I also bought (borrowed money to buy) Metropolis. it's an anime movie and it looked pretty good ^^ and Silver-sama got me the deluxe special edition of the Da Vinci Code!!! I love it so badly ^^ he also gave me new earrings as promised ^^ yep, I am now quadruply pierced ^^ (meaning I have four earrings in each ear hehe ^^) my ears still hurt a little, but I'm used to it ^^ though it does mean that I can't give blood for a year now.. ow well, it's not that big of a problem ^^ we actually found some Halloween candy hehe ^^ lollipops with little skeleton arms and legs as sticks ^^ and we bought gummy bears and some other candy too, just cause we felt like it ^^ we ate chinese for dinner and it was soooo yummy once again ^^ I was totally stuffed.. and in the evening we went to the pool-hall. it was pretty fun, though the music totally sucked and Silver-sama got more annoyed with himself every game.. he kept shooting the 8-ball in the wrong pocket or just too early.. poor honey.. but he did like my new pants ^^ it has little eagles stitched on the back pockets ^^ but it's soooo tight, it still has to stretch out a little ^^" we went home pretty early, cause the music was getting really annoying and I could see that Silver-sama wasn't really enjoying himself after a few games. he did save his honour in the last game though ^^ when we got back home, we watched two episodes of Rune Soldier, that cheered us both up ^^ but then I was so tired again, so we went to sleep ^^ today, well, we woke up pretty early, but I'll crawl back into bed with him after I finish this ^^ we're going to Rotterdam to do some more shopping ^^ I might look for a sweater there ^^ but of course, we're going for the huge bookstore that actually has a good collection of manga ^^ plus, I'll finally be able to take him to the DVD store that has a lot of anime ^^ so we've got another fun filled day ahead of us ^^ I hope I don't make him spend too much money, though I don't think I'll succeed.. I'll do my best ^^ well, better get a little rest before we head off ^^ I still don't know if he's going to stay over at my house tonight, but I'm kind of scared to ask.. I don't think he will though.. ow well, I'll see ^^ my wallpapers didn't get posted (yet) but I don't think they will be.. I have to improve myself.. as promised I will put them on photobucket when I get the time ^^ thanks for reading this useless and way too long rambling guys ^^ have a wonderful day ^^ I'm outta here

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