Monday, January 28, 2008

depriving herself from life



draggind her from her life

drawining the pleasure that she desires

screaming pain starving for love

hungry for happiness but she's craving for death

praying to death chanting for death to take her beyond those gates

she's ignored put down strained from sleepless nights

her heart beats fading yet she still lives with no heart no love no hope

a mind without a body to with hold everlasting thoughts of betrayal

drenched in a heavy blanket of lies swarming with faults and doubts about herself

not even trying to pull herself to surface she lays falt on her back warming herself

with the heavy blanket that lays across her body covering her from head to toe

little air not caring she lays there day and night still chanting away for death to come take her away

but she thinks that too selfish of her to get her needs her wants so she lives not wanting to be known as selfish

she will continue this until her mind decays and there is nothing else that keeps her going


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he is whom i want to be


eyes covered blinded by all nuthin is shown
a figure is blurred slowly movin in toward
me it come.... reaching out for me.. caresses me comforts me
y does it care so much doesnt it see the
flaws .....the wrongs ....can it see am horrible
...and yet it keeps holdin me..... comfortin me
allowin me to confide to it..am no longer
afraid my eyes slowly open to see the face
of u... always there to help never
cares of others opinion always there to rid
of pinnin of the hook...... yankin me away
he pulls back fightin to keep me safe
.......he is my need my want he is who i want to
become..but who is this he...i kno this person..but
can i really kno someone that so great...someones whos
heart has no limits...i can see this face it so comfortin..
this person i see i feel i known forever...how can i kno this
person...are they illusions i can over come..or am i the illusion
not wantin to be forgotten..i hold on to him...i confide to him
for he lets me...i feel its ok to....cry.scream..bleed my pain out
he is who i want to be....a heart with no limits



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Saturday, December 22, 2007

tired
im tired of games,
im tired of this pain,this pain that has turned my life into vain
these tears fall like heavy rain drops down my face,
down my soul,this soul that is desserted that behold a lifeless
body all stribble and cold,cold as the hour glass thats broken
on the floor.............tired of that word that one single word that
everyone believe is love....even i believed once, believed in this
word how foolish i was to be so blind sighted i was but now i
see as i wipe this triedness away for my eyes that this word does
not exsist yet its forms a fragment that surrounds my lifeless
soul.......................



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her death
I ENTER THE LOBBY OF THE HOTEL TRING TO LOCATE THERE ELEVAORS.AS I SCAN THE LOBBY NO-ONE NOTICE THAT AM HERE.I HAVE FOUND THE ELEVATORS, LOCATED AT THE FAR END OF THE HOTEL LOBBY.AS I MAKE MY WAY THROUGH THE LOBBY I NOTICE HAPPY FAMILIES AND JOYFUL COUPLES.HOW I WISH I CAN HAVE THEIR HAPPINESS.AS I REACH THE ELEVATORS I PUSH THE BUTTON FOR UP.AS THE ELEVATOR DOORS OPEN A WOMEN STEPS OUT WITH A ASSUME TO BE HER HUSBAND. SHE SMILES AT ME AS SHE AND HER HUSBAND STEPS OFF THE ELEVATOR."HELLO, HOW ARE YOU?" SHE SAYS.AS I STEP ONTO THE ELEVATOR I REPLY TO HER WITH"I AM FINE AND YOURSELF? AS THE ELEVATOR DOORS CLOSE I HEAR HER REPLY,"WELL, AM QUITE FINE TOO, THANK YOU." AS THE ELEVATOR ROSE UP TO ITS NEXT FLOOR UP, A MAN GETS ON.HE NOTICE THAT THE ROOF BUTTON HAS BEEN PUSHED.HE TRIES TO MAKE CONVERSATION AS HE AWAITS FOR HIS STOP."I SEE YOU HAVE A LONG WAY TO UP". THEN I REPLY, "WHY YES I DO". AS THE MAN GET OFF MORE PEOPLE CONTINUE TO GET ON AND OFF THE ELEVATOR. AS IT APROCH THE ROOF I NOTICE THAT AM ALONE. THIS SEEM TO BE SOMETHING AM ALWAYS FACING…BEING ALONE.THE DOORS OPEN FOR THE ROOF FLOOR. I HASIATE BEFORE EXITING.I WALK TO THE EDGE OF THE HOTEL BUILDING AND WITHOUT THOUGHT I LEAP.AS AM FALLING I FEEL THE WIND AGAINST MY FACE, I CAN SEE THE PAVEMENT COMING IN VIEW. AS I HIT THE PAVEMENT THE IN PACT CAME HARD.I LOSE ALL TRACE OF THOUGHT AND SLOWLY I FADE AWAY IN MY PUDDLE OF BLOOD THAT POUR THOUGHOUT PLACES OF MY FACE. END

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sex
it was supose 2 B 8pgs..but heres wat i edit^^

I WALK IN THE ROOM...I SEE U LYIN THERE IN THE BED....I WALK OVER TO THE BED..WEARIN NUTHIN BUT A TEDDY..U LOOK UP AT ME AND GIVE ME A SEXY GRIN....I TAKE OFF UR PANTS AND BOXERS....CLIMB UPON U AND TAKE OFF UR SHIRT WITH MY TEETH...I TRACE A PATH WITH MY TONGUE DOWN UR CHEST TO UR ERECTION....I TRACE MY TONGUE DOWN UR ERECTION AND BACK UP...I TAKE UR TIP OF UR ERECTION AND SUCKLE ON IT AS I MOVE MY TONGUE OVER IT...I TAKE U U ALL THE WAY IN DEEP INTO MY MOUTH..I FEEL UR TIP HIT THE BACK OF MY THOART...I SUCK HARD AND LONG MOVIN MY HEAD IN A BACKWARD FORWARD MOTION WHILE MOVING MY TONGUE AROUND AND AROUND AS I SUCKLE ON IT MORE..I PULL U OUT MY MOUTH JUST TO THE TIP AND SUCKLE ON IT THEN FLICK THE TIP WITH MY TONGUE....I TRAIL MY TONGUE BACK DOWN UR ERECTION TO UR BALLS AND SLOWLY I FLICK MY TONGUE ON THEM GENTLY..I USE MY TONGUE AND MOVE THEM AROUND IN MY MOUTH...I HERE U MOAN.."UMMdarn"...U GRAB THE SHEETS AND PROTEST"PLEASE BABE..STOP...I..I CANT...darn..frak.FEEL..SO GOODD"..I TELL U "NUH UHN BABY" AND CLIMB UP ON TOP U...I PUT UR ERECTION IN ME AND MOVE SLOW THEN FAST AND UP THEN DOWN...ROTATING MY HIPS...I MOAN.."AHHHOOWWWUMMYESS...THIS FEELS SOO...DAYUM GOOD..BABY..FUUCCKKK"...U GRAB MY WAIST AND THRUST IN DEEPER....I TAKE UR HANDS FROM MY SIDES AND MOVE THEM OFF ME...I CLIMB OFF U AND TRAIL MY TONGUE DOWN UR CHEST AGAIN TO UR ERECTION..I PLACE U IN MY MOUTH AGAIN...U MOAN..."DAYYUUUMMM..BABY...AHHHFUCCCKKK"I CAN TASTE THE JUICES FROM MY kitty ON UR SHAFT..TASTE SWEET....I TAKE U IN DEEPER..I SUCKLING DEEPER AND MOVIN MY TONGUE AROUND UR SHAFT...I FEEL U STIFEN IN MY MOTH AND THEN U CUM IN MY MOUTH....I SUCKLE UP ALL THE CUMM OUT AND SWALLOW..AGAIN I LICK A TRAIL DOWN UR SHAFT TO UR BALLS..I FEEL U SOFTEN.....U BEGAN TO SHIFT UR SELF THINKIN WE WERE DONE....I SAY."NUH UHN BABY..NOT FINISH" AND PLACES UR BALLS IN MY MOUTH AGAIN...GENTLY SUCKIN ON THEM..I FEEL U HARD AGAIN...SECONDS LATERS U MOAN..."BABY BABY WA-WAIT..LET ME REST..A LITTLE...FUUCCKKK DDAAYYUMM..BABY..W-WAIT"..I TAKE UR BALLS OUT MY MOUTH AND WISHER OVER THEM.."NUH UHN"..I CLIMB ON U AGAIN AND PLACES U INSIDE ME..MOVING FAST..U GRAB AHOLD MY HIPS AGAIN..BUT THIS TIME U LAY ME DOWN AND PUTS MY LEGS UP OVER UR SHOULDERS..U THRUST IN DEEPER MOVING FAST AND FASTER..I MOAN.."YESSSAHHHFFUUCCKKK..FEELL SOO..DAYUUMM GOODDD..DAYUMM BABY...frak ME...HARDER!"....U THRUST IN DEEPER AND DO THIS DIP THING WITH UR BODY...I DIG MY NAILS IN UR BACK..U MOAN.."DAYUM BABY..UR SO..TIGHT..SSHHIIITTT..FEEELLLSS..FFUUCCKKIINN GGOOODDD"...U TURN ME OVER AND ENTER MY kitty FROM BEHIND..THRUSTIN IN DEEP...U SPANK MY ASS..I MOAN.."AHHUMM BABY..BABY..frak!...FEEELLLSS SOO FFUUCCKKIINN GOOOD...SP-SPANK ME..SPANK ME"....U SPANK ME AGAIN...I FEEL U THRUST IN DEEPER..I ARCH MY BACK AND GRAB THE HEAD BOARD OF BED..AND I FEEL MY BODY GIVE WAY AS I CUM..."OOWWWAHHHYYEESSSS"....U RAP ONE ARM AROUND ME TO HOLD ME UP AS U MOVE SLOWER IN AND OUT OF ME..I MOAN[/i]UHMMYESS FUCCKKK...BABY..FEELS SOO GOOD[/i]"..U THURST IN DEEP AND NIBBLE ON MY EAR..U TRAIL UR TONGUE DOWN MY NECK..I MOAN.."AH BABY THA-THAT MY SPOT"....U TURN ME OVER AND PULL OUT OF ME...U TAKE UR TONGUE AND FLICKER MY NIPPLE...TEASIN ME INSANLY......U TAKE MY NIPPLE IN UR MOUTH AND SUCKLE ON GENTLY THEN ONE LAST TIME FLICKS IT WITH THE VERY TIP OF UR TONGUE..."frak BABY..I NEED U IN ME"...U TRAIL UR TONGUE DOWN MY BELLY TO MY kitty...U FLICKER MY CLICK WITH THE TIP OF UR TONGUE...I MOAN.."UHMMM"...U REACH OVER TO THE NIGHT STAND WHILE FINGERIN ME WITHUR OTHER HAND AND TAKE OUT A PACK OF SKITTLES U WERE EATTIN EARLY THAT DAY..U PLACE A FEW IN UR MOUTH THEN HEADS BACK TO MY kitty MOVING UR TONGUE AND THE SKITTLES OVER MY CLICK THEN SUCKLING ON MY CLICK NEXT...U NIBBLE GENTLY ON MY CLICK MOVING THE SKITTLES AROUND IT.."FFUUUCCKK...BABY...DAYUM...DAYUM"....U GET UP...AND TAKE MY HAND AND LEAD ME TO THE KITCHEN ..U LAY ME ON THE TABLE...TAKE CHOCOLATE SYRUP AND PORE A TRAIL AROUND MY NIPPLE AND DOWN MY BELLY AND OVER MY CLICK..U LICK THE TRAIL OF CHOCOLATE ALL THE WAY TO MY CLICK..NOT LEAVIN ANY CHOCLATE BEHIND...I MOAN..."AHHYUMMAHH OWWDAYUMM BABY..BABY..WAIT...UMM"...U LIFT FROM BETWEEN MY LEGS AND MOVE ON TO A CHAIR...U MOTION ME TO COME HERE....I GET OFF THE TABLE AND WALK OVER TO U..AS I WALK MY LEGS FEEL WEAK AND WOBBLELY...U TURN ME AROUND AND PLACE ME IN UR LAP ENTERIN ME FROM MY kitty YET AGAIN...I MOVE UP AND DOWN SLOW THEN FAST..U GRAB MY WAIST AND PUSH ME DOWN DEEPER ON TO U..."THIS... FEELS SO... frakIN GOOD..FUCCKKK" ..THAT WEN I MOAN IT SOUND LIKE AM MOANIN IN TONGUES....I GRAB ON TO UR KNEES FOR SUPPORT AND MOVE UP AND DOWN FASTER...U SUCKLE ON MY NECK AND MOAN IN MY EAR..."AHHH..frak..BABY...FEELSS SOO ...DAYUMMM GOOODDD...U FEELL..SO HOOOTTT..AND MOIST"...I LEAN MY HEAD BACK AND MOAN.."AHHHYEESSFUCCKK...BABY..AM CUMMING AM CUMMING"...U GRAB MY WAIST AND THRUST IN DEEPER...I FEEL MYSELF ARCH MY BACK,HEAD BENT BACK.....I CUMM SO HARD....I MOAN.."AHHHYEESSFUUCCKK"...I FEEL U STIFEN INSIDE ME AND I FEEL U CRAB MY WAIST TIGHTER AND THRUST IN DEEPER AND CUMM INSIDE ME...U MOAN.."DAYUMM BABY GIRL...FELT SO frakIN GOOD"...U RAP UR ARMS AROUND ME....AND GENTLY NIBBLE ON MY EAR.....U WHISPER..."I LOVE U"..I WHISPER BACK.."I LOVE U TOO"..I GET UP AND LEAD U TO THE SHOWER..I TURN ON THE SHOWER WATER...THE WATER IS HOT BUT NOT TOO HOT..JUST RIGHT OF HOT...U CLIMB IN THE SHOWER WITH ME..I RAP MY ARMS AROUND UR NECK AND KISS U...WE START TO TONGUE IT OUT..I FEEL MYSELF BEGAN TO MOIST BETWEEN MY LEGS AGAIN.....JUST THEN U TAKE UR HAND AND MOVE IT BETWEEN MY LEGS..I MOAN.."HUHMMM..BA..BY...UHMM"AS U MOVE UR FINGERS AROUND MY CLICK AND TONGUE ME DOWN...U TAKE ONE OF MY LEGS AND RAISE IT UP OVER UR HIP AND ENTER ME...I LEAN MY BACK AGAINST THE SHOWER WALL..U THRUST IN DEEP MOVIN IN FAST...U MOAN.."AHH FUCCK BABY...SO HOTT"...U SUCK ON MY NECK...HITTIN RIGHT ON MY SPOT...I MOAN..."AHHYYEESS"....DIGGIN MY NAILS INTO U AGAIN....I FEEL MY BODY GROW HOT AND FEEL MYSELF CUM AGAIN...."YYYEESSFFUUCCKK...AHHHHBABY"..U THRUST IN DEEP AGAIN AND CUM INSIDE ME..U MOAN..."DAYUM BABY...FUUCCCKKK GIIRRLL"...WE WASH EACH OTHER DOWN...AND GET OUT..U DRY ME OFF AND THEN URSELF AND THEN TAKE ME TO THE ROOM...U LAY DOWN AND PULL ME CLOSE TO U...U HOLD ME IN UR ARMS..UR NAKED BODY AGAISNT MY OWN....I SAY.."I LOVE U"..U SAY.."I LOVE U TOO"...AND WE FALL ASLEEP....END

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drowning
i feel so alone.... no one to hold on to...... how far on will i go...... until some one sees me gone ......will i keep sinkin deeper into the coldness of the lifeless.... drinkin from the fountain of pain.... lies swarm around me the knife pushed deeper into my back.... deeper and deeper it cuts...... killin the life thats left of me ....calling ur name screaming it out loud can u hear the calls i scream as i die here waiting on u stupid tears flow from my eyes full of sadness and lost of hope wondering lostly can i find a right path to guide me... wat do i do drown in this misery...... sinkin into darkness.... i lie there burin from the hells heat...... whisperin how at fualt i am.... death is all that i await for until then i lie in deaths form
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dying to please
KNOC KNOC ....OPEN UP ITS THE POLICE...MR.NAKURA WERE PLACING U UNDER ARREST FOR THE MURDER OF RAN KYOTO......

4HOURS AND 5 MONTHS BEFORE

MR.NAKURA:HELLO R U RAN..RAN KYOTO?
RAN :YEESS....WHY DO U ASK?
MR.NAKURABECAUSE I'V WATCH U WALK FROM SCHOOL EVERY DAY AT 3:10PM...WITH UR LITTLE SCHOOL GIRL SKIRT TAUNTING ME...EVERYDAY WALKING PASS ME...NOT EVEN SAYING A WORD.
RAN : BUUTT I HAV..
MR.NAKURA:QUIET! I DONT WANT U TO SPEAK...UR MORE ATRACTIVE LIKE THAT.

NARRATOR:MR.NAKURA GRABS RAN AND LEADS HER TO AN ALLY
RAN STRUGGLES TO FREE HESELF BUT HIS STRENTH IS TOO MUCH FOR HER

MR.NAKURA:WHY DONT U GIVE ME A KISS...MISS KYOTO.
RAN :BUUTT I DON.....
MR.NAKURA:SSHHHH!I TOLD U ...UR MORE ACTIVE WHEN U DONT TALK ....NOW GIVE ME A KISS OR ELSE....
RAN :PLEASE I DONT WANT ANY TROUBLE.

NARRATOR:SLAP!..... MR.NAKURA HITS HER ACROSS THE FACE.....
WEEPING SOUNDS ARE COMING FROM RAN.

MR.NAKURA:OH IM SORRY DID I HURT U? LET ME KISS IT AND MAKE IT FEEL BETTER.
RAN :SNIFF SNIFF NNOO PLEEASSE! STOUMP DOUNT TOUMCH MEEE!

NARRATOR:MR.NAKURA FORCE HER TO THE GROUND AND LAY APON HER PUSHING HIS WEIGHT ON HER.HE PLUGES HIS HAND BETWEEN HER LEG PLAYING WITH HER PRIVITE AREA.RAN DIGS HER NAILS INTO THE SIDE OF HIS FACE CAUSING HIM TO STOP IN PAIN

MR.NAKURA:U B@tH!! AND HERE ALL I WAS TRYING TO PLEASE U AND MAKE U HAPPY

NARRATOR:MR.NAKURA POUNDS HIS FIST INTO HER FACE...CAUSING RAN TO YELL IN AGONY


RAN :AHHHH!
MR.NAKURA:SHUT UP DIDNT I TELL U UR MORE ACTIVE WHEN UR NOT TALKING

NARRATOR:MR.NAKURA LIFTS HER SKIRT AND MOVES HER UNDER CLOTHES OUT OF THE WAY AND GET HIMSELF PREPARE TO ENTER HER....RAN TRIES TO STOP HIM BUT HIS STRENTH IS TOO GRAND...RAN SCREAMS OUT LOUD FROM THE PAIN

RAN :AAAHHHHHHAHAAAHAHAHAAHHAHA

NARRATOR:HOWEVER MR.NAKURA CONTIUES TO THURST INTO HER.....RAN DIGS HER NAIL DEEPER INTO HIM CAUSING HIM TO BLEED FROM THE FACE.HE THEN PUTS HER HANDS OVER HER HEAD TO PREVENT HER FROM CAUSING
AND MORE PAIN TO HIS FACE. AS HE CONTIUES TO THURTS INTO HER BLOOD DRIPS FROM HIS FACE AND LANDS ON HER SHIRT.

MR.NAKURA:SEE IM NOT GONING TO HURT U AM JUST HERE TO PLEASE U.

NARRATOR:RAN YELLS

RAN :A$$-HOLE

NARRATOR:CAUSING MR.NAKURA TO GO IN RAGEHE PUTS HIS HAND AROUD HER NECK TRYING TO END HER LIFE.RAN FIGETS TRYING TO GET HIS HANDS
FROM AROUND HER NECK.RAN BODY STOPS FIGETING AND MR.NAKURA LETS HER GO.HE THEN RELIZE THAT SHE IS NO LONGER LIVING.HE RAISES..BEND OVER AND GRAB HER BY THE ANKLES DRAGGING HER TO A NEAR BY TRASH CAN.MR.NAKURA LEAVES HER THERE AND RUSHES HOME.

3 hours later

HI IM CARMEN AND THIS IS JK 6:00 NEWS.....JUST NOW 17 YEAR OLD RAN KYOTO WAS FOUND MUDER BEHIND A TRASH CAN IN A DESERTED ALLY WERE SHE WAS RAPED AND BEATEN. THERE R NO WITNESS AND POLICE SAY THEY DONT KNOW WHO DID THIS AND Y WOULD THEY WANT TO HURT MISS KYOTO....HERE
ARE SOME SOME STUDENTS FORM MISS KYOTO SCKOOL..

STUDENT:RAN WAS A COOL STUDENT KIND AND FUNNY WHY WOULD SOMEONE DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS TO HER?

STUDENT2:RAN WAS OUR FRIEND AND I HOPE THE SICK BASTERD WHO HAS DONE THIS IS FOUND AND GIVEN WHAT HE DESERVE.

WELL THATS ALL FOR TODAY PEOPLE THIS IS CARMEN WITH JK NEWS AT 6:00.

NARRATOR:MR.NAKURA TURNS OFF THE TELEVISION AND LAYS BACK AGAINST HIS SOFA THINKING TO HIMSELF HOW HE GOT AWAY WITH MUDER.

PRESENT DAY

KNOC KNOC......OPEN UP ITS THE POLICE...MR.NAKURA WERE PLACING U UNDER ARREST FOR THE MURDER OF RAN KYOTO......MR.NAKURA HOP UP OUT OF BED AND RUSHES TO HIS WINDOW BUT ITS ALREADY TO LATE THE POLICE BUST INTO HIS HOME AND PLACE HIM IN HANDCUFFS.WE HAVE SAMPLES OF UR BLOOD UNDERNEATH THE NAILS OF 17 YEAR OLD RAN KYOTO......MR.NAKURA WAS SENT TO PRISON.....WHERE HE SPENDS THE REMAINING TIME OF HIS LIFE.

END



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