Friday, January 13, 2006

It's sooo not christmas anymore
Yeah.. so .. I got no anime for x-mas. Dang it . Dang it . Dang it.


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Tuesday, December 20, 2005

All I have to say
So King Kong was absolutely amazing. Amazing.
If you have seen it and didn't like it, please tell me why because i've met no one who didn't like it and you would be an anomaly to my world. So tell. Otherwise just agree with the greatness. and then go watch the
original.

Have a merry Christmas!
And a Happy New Year!


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Wednesday, November 30, 2005

And now returns the not-so-prodigal but deeply eccentric Me
Soooo

college
boys
school

I feel like I want to describe a melodrama when all I'm going to talk about is this:

I love movies.

I saw harry potter and it was really good, but the only thing is that I wish hermione and ron got more screen time, not only because ron is soo cute now with his long hair and etc but because they're characters are so cool.

and I soooo want to see the new King Kong !!!! Looks freakin amazing. Jack Black rules my world!

and so I just watched SteamBoy .. well most of it and it was sooo good. Like all detailed and I've never seen Akira so I can't really compare it, but I did see metropolis which I know the same guy had something to do with, I don't remember.. I think he wrote it.
Steamboy!!!!! Watch it ... the animation will blow you away. I so want to see the end of it.

I also want to see Final Fantasy Advent Children I was so excited that Cloud was in it.. ahhhh sweet. And hottie badguy Sephiroth. Soo exicted. I want to see it, unless anyone has and it's bad or something.

And freakin ' Chronicles of Narnia is gonna come out!!!!!!!!! HHHHHH!!!!!! Sweet.

okay - i'm done. heheh
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Sunday, October 9, 2005

My Birthday was Yesterday
Happy Birthday Month
all you october
Babies.

Like me
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Sunday, October 2, 2005

Toodoo lee doo
So, long time. anyway.
sadness ... sorry for righting just that. Ni-kun. and Rustym noticed it, huh? that was sweet you guys. i like u too.

now i'm starting this world where there are all these people and all these things and all this stuff going on. and i'm just getting annoyed. i djon't know if it is stress or what, but I just don't have anybody who i can just "be" with, and who will listen and not judge. and i haven't opened up to anybody. i feel like i can't. like i won't. maybe ever .

i feel like i'm done. i'm done trying to be the good person that is somewhere buried in me that i kept searching for. i know it's ridiculous to say that, why do my ideas have to change so much for this?

i liked where I was a year ago. a year ago last fall... in highschool yes, excuse me for not thinking highschool was the abomination it was.
i just liked my state of mind, and myself.
i'm trying to find it again, becaues now everyhting is fucked up. and i'm starting to change to this person i don't like so much.
i don't know anymore.
honesty or kindness.
i just don't know.
and i'm sad a lot.
that always sucks. especially when i know that happy is just a hop skip and jump down the road. *figurative road not literal*
and maybe i'm just not choosing to be that way. then why? is it eaiser? I Think it is easier to just let myself wallow in everything, and re-think, and cry when nobody is looking, and nobody will look because iwent to a place i know they won't go to.
I do these kinds of things.
to keep people away.
i hate losing people.
i hate it.
and i don't know how to be the person that people like
i don't know how to change the world.
i just know i want to.
so what?
what am i supposed to be going at?
i don't really know anything, i'm bad at retaining information .
all i ever do is question.
which is not always a good thing.
when I"m just ... I"m only sure about a couple of things,
but i wouldn't tell you that.
i wouldn't tell you anything, because that's how I am.

i like to listen, to observe, and to help.
when there's nobody but me... it's very strange. and I start to wonder if I even AM one of those people.
one of those people who knows how to change the world.
does the world need changing, need saving?

i don't know.
i used to think that I wanted to, that I could, and that I would.

I just don't know how.
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Saturday, September 17, 2005

Oh
Sad
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Wednesday, September 14, 2005

ACHK!
My rank just jutted down the list by like five ranks! Good GOD! I'm horrified at how I haven't had time to update. This sucks.

I'm just a terrible person.

Besides that, m ylife is going going gone. ANd all that that entails with craziness, dorm life, stress and homework. Gracious.

Okay - not boys though, no luck there. I'm not ready and there isn't an yone ready to like me, apparently.

Soooo where does that leave me? I've abandoned myspace once again , for lack of a better reason, out of guilt. Loads of it. I love you guys and I will never devote more time to another place that no one visits anyway.

Ack. .I have dishes to do and cleaning, and homework. SOOOo yeah, lots to do.

How is everyone ?Any major breakthorughs? Any major anime /other purchases ?Hope you are all having enourmously successful weeks.

^-^ I'm being weird, I know.

_ hugs_ - hearts -

Maarii

It's Dirty Pair Flash's Kei

Also how I want to look while facing my college challenge !!!


OOOOOO
and thanks everyone so much for the contest entries.
I loved them all and I should repost them cuz they were funny. But ,,, I just adore RustyM Too to much. and he wins.

I still need to find a freaking picture I want to use as the icon. Unless he has a request. Then he may request and I will find.

^_^

K. bye now
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Wednesday, September 7, 2005

How I find the time to do this, I don't know.
Hello again.
At college, it's great.
Lappy is gone and I"m grieving.
Hope you all take some time to check out some of the stuff I wrote on myspace.
in the next little while, becuause I don't get a lot of time to write, I'll be posting some of the other projects I wrote over the summer.
Plus some wacky poems as always.

Now today.. for specialty sake. I'm going to have a cntest.
The Person who writes the funniest caption, I will write a poem about you.
Yeah, I know... great prize. Maybe I'll also make an icon for you! Woah!!! Now hold on... maarii has NEVER made an icon before!!! well. I'll try. That's all I"m saying.

SO IT'S THE FUNNIEST CAPTION CONTEST!!!!!



GO TO IT !!!
I"ll double post tommorrow and stuff for all you who miss it today.
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Saturday, September 3, 2005

Moving DAy!
I've never moved in my life, and now I've packed up my existence into about three tubs and half a dozen bags and I'm moving to college today.
I'll get back on when I can, but without my laptop, I'm in outer mongolia *or close to it* *or not*

So goodbye to the homebody Maarii and say hello to College Girl!

*hugs*
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Friday, September 2, 2005

Another something out of me - Yes, I'm into the long post lately.

Untitled .. searching for a title but can’t think of one
I wander around frameless places
My smile falters for nameless faces
How did it become so formulated?
How did I pick up all this hatred?

I dance outside when it’s raining
While the colors of strife are slowly draining
How was it lost in shades of gray?
Where is the world that used to blow me away?

Bring on the storm, it’s time to sleep again.
In the dark I can’t see the cracks in my sanity
Where brightness falls to shadow
and despair falls to lust for dreams so unlike reality

I pick up the pieces of harmless phrases.
And I tape them together with missing cases.
When did the puzzle fall apart?
Where is this world that used to beat in my heart?

Bring on the pain it’s the time to dance again
With the spin I can’t feel my fingers bleeding
Where I’ve scratched at the walls of the halls of this prison
Gray prison

My fellow inmates have nearly noticed
My struggle will finally wake them up
I’ve made the noise almost unbearable
Because I’m breaking my bones to be free
I’m breaking my soul just to be

Bring on the stars it’s time to dream again
Infinity cracks my palms in the silence
we’re all flawless when we fall
before the blood and dreams so much like reality

------------------------
I don't remember when I wrote this. I know I was outside and I sang the first verse and chorus then put the rest of it together. It's hard to pin down one thing that describes it, but I guess I just felt like my poems are my only way to act out against the "system" that forces things on my mind.
-------------------------

I wrote this one after my dog died. I know, doesn't seem like such a big deal. But I loved him a lot. He was my best friend through all of middle school when I had no one else. And he loved me no matter how much I hated myself. Then he got sick and died the day after school ended in 11th grade. Just died. Just sick. They never figued out what it was, and we tried everything to save him. And I loved him so fiercely.
But I really didn't get to grieve at first, because my cousins and aunt and grandma came to stay with us for a week of "fun" ..like their vacation. And then I had to travel with them back to colorado for my "vacation". Two weeks went by before I really allowed myself to feel. And I guess this just came out all at once. It's a song , rather beautiful in it's sorrow.
-----------------------------------


Grieving
Heaven help me, while I grieve.
This whole within me feels so empty ...
I’m lost in water from my eyes
While every smile, withers and dies

Do you know “Nothing”?
Have you kissed her yet?
Have you been enveloped by those sweet if bitter breaths?
Has the sun burned you with harsh unyielding beams?
Has the moon spurned you, into shadowed terror dreams?

The day is too bright, and the night not dark enough yet ...

Heaven help me, while I breathe
This whole within me just might kill me
I’m lost in chaos from my mind, while every sunrise is left behind

If only Forever wasn’t real
I’d bring you back just like in my dreams
If only I didn’t feel ... these living days wouldn’t be as bad as they seem

Heaven help me while I grieve, this whole within me feels so empty
I’m lost in water from my eyes, while every smile withers and dies

Do you know sorrow?
I do.
She’s wrapped her loving arms around me.
And I struggle, I pull, I cry, I scream.
but the end ... is the end ...
please .. please

Heaven help me while I breathe, this whole within me just might kill me
I'm lost in chaos from my mind, while every sunrise is left behind
Heaven help me while I bleed, these wounds within me just won’t heal ... just won’t heal ... won’t heal
Heaven help me .. I’m lost.

Come back to me.


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