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Saturday, March 6, 2004
Inclinations Toward the Future
The sun was bright when morning came. The clouds were all puffy in the sky. The grass was not beginning to turn green, but he knew it would soon.
He looked out the little window in his bedroom, out into the world, the big place he didn't understand. Then he started to do something rather unpleasant. He started to think.
It wasn't the process, or even the concept, of thinking that tended to depress him. It was the thoughts themselves. Things like, "Why is it I'm so alone?" "Why doesn't anyone understand me?" "Why doesn't anyone care?" "Why do I exist when I don't matter." I just don't matter.
They tended to run in that direction.
And he always tended to stop that train right in its tracks and send it back the way it had come. Not today, though, because today was Saturday, and Saturdays were much harder than every other day, even Sundays.
On Saturdays he lost all the strength to stop any train of thought, and it usually crashed into his feeling center sending him into emotional retardation for the rest of the week.
He looked around his room, at the fish tank, the glass prison and how the sunlight bounced around in the water like a fairy.
Then he took a step back from the window.
Why did he have to do it? Why did he have to do any of it? He didn't live in a fish tank. He lived in a world, a very big world, and there were thousands of paths he could tred, not just one track that had him running in circles. He had never really liked circles, because circles never did anything or went anywhere. He really didn't like it all.
"Marcus! Just leave me alone, I'm watching T.V.!" The screen was black, and he didn't say a thing. He had already decided.
Outside the sun was bright, but it was cold, and he had forgotten his jacket. He didn't stop, though, he just kept going. Going and going and going until he couldn't feel his cheeks anymore. He couldn't even feel the tears.
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Thursday, March 4, 2004
Consequence Is Binding
"Marcus, will you please look at me for a second." His mother brushed a stray hair from her wrinkled brow. "All I want you to do is apologize."
"I don't have anything to apologize for." He stated in the tone he judged would make her the least frustrated.
"Your sister is upset, Marcus, she's whining and crying and carrying on, and right now I don't feel like I can deal with it."
"I deal with it." He accidently let slip out.
She gave him the 'I'm to exasperated to look at you' look. "I know it's hard. She's been so much more . . ." She was searcing for a word.
"Crazy?" He supplied.
Another look. "Difficult." She took a deep breath. "Your sister is fragile, and after your father took that job, well, she's just having a rough time of it."
He nodded, the only gesture he dared do when she looked this tired. "I can't have you two getting into these arguments all the time, and you are older, Marcus. You should be the bigger person and just apologize."
If she only knew that nothing at all had happened, that he had been in his room for the entire evening, then maybe she wouldn't be saying this.
On second thought, she most likely would still be saying this. He had an inclination growing in his brain that adults lived in much the same glass prison as fish, except adults liked to pretend that their glass prison was everyone's glass prison.
He nodded again.
"Thank you, Marcus." She stood up very slowly. "I'm going to bed."
He almost didn't say it.
Almost.
"What about my birthday present?" His tongue had betrayed him.
She turned around with a glazed look playing across half-closed eyes. "Maybe tomorrow. Tomorrow."
He watched her lurch down the hall.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow times seven is a week.
Tomorrow times thirty is a month.
He had already waited a month for the $10 he was supposed to have received as his big birhday present. It was always tomorrow.
The inclination grew much stronger.
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Wednesday, March 3, 2004
Fish Thoughts
Glub Glub Bub Bub
The fish noises floated off into the air.
He stared at the fish.
"Hello, fish. Theodore, Abe, George, how are you enjoying reality?"
More of the Glub and Bub Sounds
"Upstanding answer, I agree with you wholeheartedly."
He sighed.
When had life become so . . . morose? No, not quite the word he had been looking for. The term 'boring' came close, but not quite there. The fact was that his life was pointless. Pointless and hopeless, the hopeless just added on for good measure because he had turned thirteen last month and knew that a proper amount of 'angst' must be attached to every particle of thought.
He wondered if fish had angst? Did they toil in circles day in day out, going through the motions of a non-essential life?
He decided they probably didn't care one way or another. So he unscrewed the cap from the little orange container and sprinkled the food along the surface of the water.
Glub Bub Gloop Shweop Bub
"Upstanding fellows, yes, perfectly capable of keeping my sanity locked up in their little glass prison." He tapped the tank once, watched the little ripples of consequence, and left the room.
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Tuesday, March 2, 2004
La La La
"La la la lalalala," She sang as she capered down the street. "What a glorious day for a picnic!"
It was raining. "I love picnics, don't you?"
The "you" she was referring to was inclined to disagree, but thought it best to give his little sister some space.
"Pic Nic. What an odd word. P-I-C-N-I-C!" She was sining again, and they were almost home.
It started to hail. "Boy oh boy, the sun is a SHYYYYYY NING! Don't you think?"
He tried to crunch into himself, tried to spontaneously combust, even tried to pretend his sister wasn't a raving lunatic.
None of that worked.
"Marcus! Marcus!" She screamed at him and ran into the yard. "Marcus is being M-E-A-N!"
He simply rolled his eyes and let himself into the empty house. Empty in the sense of intelligent beings, excepting his fish. His fish at least knew what reality they lived in, unlike his little sister.
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Friday, February 27, 2004
Well, Don't Worry. Life's Not Always What It Seems
I have the hiccups. Strange, eh?
You're Fuu!
What Clamp Girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
I like that quiz. If you like clamp you should take it. All you "you 's" out there.
My life should be getting back to normal fairly soon.
Ahh. That should be nice.
Not much to speak of.
The sun is out. Lovely sunny rays.
I've almost got relationships done for "ITRTU"(The greek god/goddess reincarnation one). Then, all's I'll need is a plot. A lovely plot.
Yep. That might take some thinking.
Sees Ya.
Okay. Really Bye Now.
 That's a cute manga.
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Tuesday, February 24, 2004
Oh, Save Me From My Own Ineptitude.
OOOOOh. I have so much time and so little to do. Oops. Scratch that. Reverse it.
Last two days of the play, tonight and tomorrow. Then I'll just have to ride the rest of this crazy week out and see if I come out sane on the other side. Hopefully.
I know you are all looking forward to a story, believe me its obvious from the lack of visits *cough*sarcasm*cough*.
I can't wait to actually start something. But busy is as bees do. Or however the wacky insect related saying goes.
Uhg*looks outside*It's all dirty. And brown and gray. The snow is melting but its still cold. I'd have to say, Mother Nature must be moping today.
*big sigh*
See you all later.
Mopeness.
Something To Look forward to, Neh?
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Saturday, February 21, 2004
Okay ! School week is over!
Yeah, too bad I have to do the play tonight too. Yesterday was opening night of "Inherit the Wind" (if you like plays then read it, it's really good) And I'm bored and tired. I play a stupid person, so I kind of just want the show to be over with. Oh well.
I had another idea for a story the other day, while drawing this cool anime guy. I put winged shoes on him, and thought "Oh. . . how cool would it be if this was Hermes." Then the whole idea starting forming and I named it
IF TEENAGERS RULED THE UNIVERSE
Soo. Basically its about all these 16-18 year old kids who are the reincarnations of the Greek Gods. Yeah, interesting to me.
See Ya All Later.
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Wednesday, February 18, 2004
AHH
HOMEWORK!!!
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Monday, February 16, 2004
Ya Ya Ya. I'm desparingly bored.
When I don't have homework I sort of just sit around doing nothing. It's quite sad to tell you the truth. I have absolutely no social life. I'm still in my pajamas and it's one o clock.
I think I'll hold off on any stories for a while. Try to perge my page of the other story.
I wonder what people really think sometimes, you know? About me, about life, about reality. No one wants to say what they think, I suppose because brain waves are sacred ground. Don't want to offend anyone. Don't want to step out of the box.
What exactly does that mean. . . "step out of the box?" Like . . . the box of reality? The box of normal? But what the hell is normal? What is average?
What is happy for that matter?
Oh, who knows. . .
0 0 > - - > . . >>> ^ ^ !
O 0 _ O
IDEA!!!
What if there's this kid, boy, who runs away from home one day because he doesn't think his parents love him. He rides his bike all the way through town then through these hills under where all the rich people live, and he sees this building. It's almost night time, so he goes inside and finds all these arcade games just sitting around. He plugs one in to see if the building has power, and they all turn on glowing in the dark. And he watches the screen and sees himself, his reflection but not, looking back at him. He presses a button and the game starts up.
But the game really isn't a game at all. It's an alternate universe where everything is almost exactly the same, it seems at first. And he's there, playing himself in a game. And . . .
okay. . . hmmmmm. Confusing.
Somebody needs to take this idea and run with it. Arcade. Alternate Universe. Hmmmm.
See you all later.
 Isn't it Cute?
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Friday, February 13, 2004
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!! TOMORROW!!!!!
Hi EVERYBODY!
Now that my story is finally over (FINALLY for those of you who never read it or were confused), I'm ready to start from scratch!
That's right. . . *drumroll please* badabadabdbababdbababbdbabdbababdbdbabdba
A NEW STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yay! Cheers for ME!!!!!!!!
hehehehehe.
Anyway, sooooooo. I have so many stories in the works up in the realm of my imagination ... that I can not decide which one to share with the kind people of the otaku.
Here we go, the ideas :
#1: The Seven Artifacts of Jess A very humorous take on the general "I've got to save the world" deal. Includes a cast of fantasy-world characters ranging from a drunken hero to a fox chick, a fairy and a sexy rogue lady, and a druid-priest and one of those arrogant fighter guys everyone loves to make fun of. Oh yeah, and a dwarf. Hillarity Ensues.
#2:Treia's Time Another humorous story about a girl and her dealings with "The Speakers". A group of few who can do wondrous things with language and time. The "King", who's a fairly airheaded hottie, the brother, who's a cute if annoying distraction, and Treia, the synical teenager who certainly doesn't fit the definition of "normal".
#3:Recollection of Earth
This one is very VERY different. Funny and serious. Thought-provoking and emotion-provoking (hopefully). This story is about a boy who gets trapped on the "other" plain of existence, the Green. A place where anything you imagine becomes reality, and nothing can ever be what it seems.
So . . . for now, those are it....... believe me there are so many more. If these don't sound good, then I'll just have to put up some more.
BYE BYE !!!!!!!!!
AND THANK YOU ALL SOO MUCH!
Happy Valentines Tommorrow!
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