Wednesday, December 10, 2003

Day 43
York is still away. To tell you the truth, I miss him. He treats me like a child, but it isn't bad. He protects me. I feel safe with him, kind of like a big brother.
Malqomb, on the other hand, is totally different. He acts like I'm some kind of annyoance. He is always so uncomfortable just talking to me. And he looks at me like . . . like . . . well, like I'm going to ruin his plans or something. Like I really am evil. Or . . . I don't know. Maybe he is just confused by me. I'm confused by me. I like him and all, as a person, but he is so frustrating. Just because he is like 35 or whatever doesn't mean he's so much better than me. I don't know. I find it hard to be nice to him.

I made him forget what he was doing today. It was funny, but scary. We were walking in town, going to visit some people. I think, people who have information about the war. And, we were standing in a shop. Malqomb looked down at me and said, "You can go mingle. I'm sure you would not be concerned with these dealings." COME ON?! Hello! I'm like the key to the whole freaking war! No, I simply don't care about it? Ahhhh. So, I looked right at him and became angry. I used that to stop his thought process. He stood there like an idiot, dazed and confused. Then, he noticed me and realized what had happened (he's pretty damn smart you know?). He stalked off.
I suppose I should say I'm sorry. But. . . it's really his fault after all. Isn't it?
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Monday, December 8, 2003

Day 41
Why I haven't written: I've been busy. I know, of course. But, I've been learning so fast and so much . . . stuff.
Malqomb has been teaching me about The Power, my lovely little ability to make things(exceptionally monsters) explode? Yes, well, apparently I can do more than that.
Yes, much more.

York has been away on errands. The war is brewing in the East, so, soon, I think very soon we have to leave. Oh yes, the war. It's between good and evil, naturally. Between my . . . Tunash the Fire Starter and . . . Malqomb. I know, it surprised me too. Malqomb is the opposition. I can't explain WHAT the war is about at this moment (I'm still trying to understand).

ANYWAY! I can make things move, like telekinesis. And I can . . . make things catch on fire (genetic?). I can make something fall apart (part of the exploding thing). And, I can . . . hah, I can make people forget what they're doing. That one, to me is the scariest of all. The power I could control is . . . no, power isn't everything. I must remember.
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Wednesday, December 3, 2003

Day 36
Oh goodness. Time for an update, right? I know it has been a while, but . . . you can sympathize, can you not? Learning that you are the spawn of evil isn't exactly news that you take lightly.
But, I have to keep going. There is no other option.

*Deep Breath* Let's recap.
I found myself on this planet called Trea. People with wings inhabit the town that I now know to be called Oschion.
A man named Malqomb took me into the place I'm currently residing, called Kri Opien(The Shelter). After a while I got cabin fever and kind of threatened to kill him. Well, I stayed around, explored and found some weird stuff. That, yes, has been explained and I'll talk about most of it in the next coming weeks.
Next, York came. He's a changling and I've found out this interesting detail about him, he changes into a sort of chimpanzee-like-thing when he's mad. Yeah, weird. York and Malqomb have taught me the language and have shown me the city. I know my way around now.

Here's the part about me.
I used to live on Earth, but not really, I only thought I did. All the time my soul has stayed on Trea, because that's where I was born.
My father is the nastiest demon this side of Hell, supposedly. His name is Toresti Tunash, in the old language meaning Horrible Fire Starter.
My name is Cassioankaiey, in the old language it means One Who Will Change. I don't know exactly what that entails, but I'm sure it won't be boring.
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Saturday, November 29, 2003

   Poll
Today I've decided to make a choice. Go with the diary format of Cassioankaiey's story (in other words the chick who is writing) or go with third person.
So, it will read like "I told them I didn't want to go, but they have ways of persuasion that go beyond my ability to refuse. Chocolate."

Or it will read like this "'I don't want to go,' she said.
'You don't?' York raised an eyebrow in a very sneaky looking way. 'What if I offered you this?' He then produced a thick, brown chunk of delightfully smelling . . . chocolate. It was chocolate.
She hadn't tasted the magnificence in so long, how could she refuse?"

Soooooooooo. Please vote. Please please please. I really need to know which one you guys want to read.Thanks
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Thursday, November 27, 2003

Day 31
I feel better today. Yes, somethings just go on and on. Time doesn't stop for me. No, or anyone for that matter.
I've been cooped up these past two days.
Y & M have been out.
Oh, but they . . . I mean Malqomb, HE told me. About me I mean. He said that I'm a child of this man. So, yeah, my "father's" name is Toresti Tunash. He IS the "red" guy. And I found out why. He is a demon. Or, sort of from the bad side of the world or something. Um, I can't really understand. OR, maybe I just don't want to.
I'm a bad guy?
I mean, you always read these fantasy books. Good versus evil and all that. Well, of course you always imagine yourself as the good, right? Well, I always did. So . . . why is it that when you somehow get caught up, inexplicably, in the epic battle . . . you find out that you really are evil. I am evil.
I mean, I'm supposed to be? I . . . I should be a bad guy?
Oh, tell me I can change my destiny. Right now, I feel like a prisoner of fate.
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Tuesday, November 25, 2003

Day 30
A month. I've spent a month here.

Sometimes I write as if this is easy, as if being here has affected me only slightly. Well, that's all crap. I've lost myself. But, who is this person.
Have you ever felt this? This disembodiment? It's like being air. Everyone who looks at you looks through you. Because, I'm not a person. I'm a power. I'm a pawn. I'm a glass wall. Or maybe . . . maybe I am nothing after all. I have so few real memories. So few real feelings.
What words can define a thing like me? Am I even the girl, the person I ever was? If that person didn't exist, or doesn't exist? Existentialism is heavy stuff.

Oh, sigh. Malqomb spoke with me today. Really, he talked to me. Still, it seemed forced. And he, so uncomfortable with words. I've tried so hard not to like him. He is a good man, a frightened guy just trying to save the world (metaphorically . . . . . . I think.)
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Sunday, November 23, 2003

Day 28
Hmm. Trying to put all this together in my brain is getting tougher.
We were out in the world yesterday, Malqomb and York acting all secretive. So, of course, I followed them when they tried to leave me alone. They didn't walk far, but just to an alcove in an alley wall. I couldn't pick out Every word, but mostly. Here, I'll just write it.
"Why haven't you told her yet?!" The first thing I caught, because York isn't as good at whispering.
"She is showing the signs, and I cannot chance to make her leave us."
"You keep pushing her away and she WILL leave. Then they'll find her and she'll be gone for good."
"I do not have all these options!" First time I've heard Malqomb scared and angry.

I lost it there and picked the conversation back up at "That is a false statement." Malqomb this time, interestingly defensive.
"How false?"
"Well, it is completely,"
"The truth!" I wish I knew what they were talking about. "Has she shown any power yet?" York, very serious, which is weird.
"She made a krodnir explode." Yeah, I actually knew what Malqomb was talking about this time.
"My Great Sweet Goddess!" A strange exclamation from York. "She . . . she . . . we have to tell her."
Then they started whispering REALLY quietly, and then they walked back towards me, so I had to hide.
I don't know what is going on, but it has something to do with the "other team", the "red-man", and lil'ol'powerful me.
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Saturday, November 22, 2003

Day 26
So, yeah . . . busy busy busy. I've been learning for a while now, and so yesterday they took me into town (comic relief and stoic guy that is).
Not much happened, except for a few inexplicable stares and such from the townsfolk. And there was this one girl that Malqomb wouldn't talk to or even look at. York had to barter with her for our food. I think,(and I'm probably right) that M was in love with her.
Anyway, just normal stuff. You know, this adventuring life is pretty dull. I mean, everyday I eat and learn some boring thing and then I go somewhere and talk to someone and nothing really happens. Yet, everyday Malqomb seems more tense, nervous and stuff.

One strange thing, York let slip a little hint as to my importance here. "We can't let the other team steal you away, that would be bad tact." He said, chuckling. Then he looked at me in that way that says "oh, shit, shouldn't of said that."
So, apparently there is another team. This one is so boring. I wonder what the other guys are like?
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Wednesday, November 19, 2003

Day 24
The comic relief arrived today.
His name is York, and he has pointy ears. That surprised me more than I'd likely admit. But it has now been explained to me during a conversation that went something like this.
"Like my ears, don't ya'?" He said.
-I stared- "Sure?"
"Women folk just go for the whole pointy eared devil trick, don't they, love?"
"I'm not sure." I was clearly uncomfortable.
"You are a woman. . . I'm sure of that!" And he stared at me. "It's no big jimmy, I'm just a Changling 's all."
I told him I had no idea what he was talking about. To which he replied that Changlings are people who have a certain animal-instinct and sort of become that animal when angry (he used the word "aroused")
Then Malqomb came over and told him to leave me alone. He didn't heed the advice.

So, all day long I've had to deal with this guy hitting on me right and left. He seems to mean well, but. . . he's weird.
He just came in, oh . . .
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Monday, November 17, 2003

Today I went exploring and found such wonderfully confusing things.
Basically I blanked out my mind before I opened the door leading out. I think what happened was my subconcious took over and pointed me in the right direction.
I found his study, like a giant library with different rooms. In one of the rooms there were these papers all over a desk, and maps and stuff. I stayed there for like 4 hours just going through all of the stuff.
Alright . . . things I found:

#1 A drawing of this man that's in red ink.
#2 A letter IN ENGLISH (at least it had to be because I could read it.) It said something about the "time is to come" and asked why Malqomb hasn't approved of the notion from the "council."
#3 A map with a lot of lines in different colors, which, after VERY much time, I deciphered to be different countries boundries and special lines for reasons as yet unknown.
#4 A picture of me as a baby. I know. I couldn't believe it either. It's an honest to GOD picture of me with the same man who was drawn in red ink. And . . . this is weird, the picture is reddish too. Just like that dream.

Uhg. This is too freaky.
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