Thursday, November 11, 2004

People
People are so funny. And sad. And strange. And beautiful.

The Japanese used to say that the more beautiful it is, the more tragic it is, and the more tragic it is, the more beautiful it is.

Such a view, don't you think? So accepting of mortality and frailty.

It's hard. To live in this world with all of it around me. I can harldy step out anymore and watch them. People in this society. those groups. and these days.
Wow. it's really very amazing from a totally objective point of view.

sorry - the philosopher-virus hit me again.
^-^ guess I'm just too pensive for my own good.

Have a wonderful day everyone, and remember that no matter what - you are beautiful in some way.
And guys are handsome - or something like that.

^-^.
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Friday, November 5, 2004

I feel Loved
Even when I can't update that often, my awesome friends here at the otaku come and visit.

You guys rock.

And i'm totally serious. This is one of the best web-communities on the net. Fantastic.

Also - some good news from my life, just won 6000 dollars from that college I was accepted to. Pretty awesome huh? I do believe so.

Anyhoo. I thought when October ended I'd be back into the swing of things. Not as busy anymore.
Ha
Ha ha
Ha
That didn't happen.
Still busy busy busy. Crazy stress piling up on me and spending all day in a bubble bath wouldn't cure it.

So. Tell me about you (guys) What's happening? Anything fun and exciting. I'd love to know.
Get ready for thanksgiving.
It's coming soon (for those of us who celebrate it).
And christmas not much after that.
And no one should forget Chanuka (spelling? - close? eh - i tried)

Have a fun rest of the week.

SHOUT OUT TO: Liam MC, Mitch, Cyrus Kane, Nikorasu
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Monday, November 1, 2004

All Saints
Halloween has come and gone now to the November song
Where dreary snow collects at my door and I want the whole world to just Stop

and here
Here I am, still asleep in the morning

^_^

Happy November 1
Not such a wonderful day - or anything. but there's always a need to be happy.

So have a wonderful couple of weeks
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Saturday, October 30, 2004

All Hallow's Eve
Woop.
It's that time again. My favorite holiday. (notice how I've given up on explaining my abscences - you can just guess, alright? )

HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!!!!

Boo Ya.

Anyway. Just wishing everybody a very frightful Halloween. Hopefully filled with lots of candy, mischief, and scary things.

I'm going to be raising the dead on Sunday night, in a graveyard.
Sadly, without the ouji board I was trying to get my hands on.

But anyway.

Have a Superb Halloween - and all you lazy bums. At least decorate your computer, and watch a scary movie!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me know about your Hallowed plans, k?

See ya
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Friday, October 8, 2004

Happy Birthday lalalala HAppy Birthday
WEEEEEE!!!!!!

It's my birthday! Yay!
18 years old today.

I'm excited.

Also, I got a call from my college of choice today, and they accepted me! Already! Yeay!
WEEEEE!!!!!!

BIRTHDAYS ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay - That's all .
Super business.

Also.
Cyrus Kane had his birthday this week too.

Go wish him a Happy one! here's the link. Cyrus's Site !!!!

Seriously.

Happy days, People. Happy days.
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Monday, October 4, 2004

WAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Hi again.

I know, amazing. Becaues I actually actually am updating again! It's CRAZY! Totally.

So. Thanks to everybody that commented on my post. that's awesome. totally love you guys.

but only a few people said anything about the story. heheheh. I know... "What story?" YEah. oh well.

Um. This week is supremely busy.
Tomorow I work. Tuesday is homework. Wednesday I horseback ride. THursday I have off school. but my parents are going on Anniversery vacation.
Friday is birthday. Saturday is SAT. Sunday is ........ probably something.
Then it's the new week all over again.

UhYeah. Crazy.

I'll leave you again with Jim and Brady.

"Hi ho Hi ho. It's off to work we go." Whistles crazily.
"WOuld you shut up?!"
"Why?"
"Because you can't whistle."
"So."
"And you're attracting hostile animals."
"Like who?"
"Ogres, for one."
"You mean like that one?" Points in direction of giant beast-like man.
"Yes. Like that one."

Screaming commences.

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Friday, October 1, 2004

I'm ALIVE!!!!!
Yes, tis true. I'm alive.

I've missed this place, but I've been so short on time. Infact. Still am. Just thought I'd drop in.

How's everyone doing? Major life crises? Major life successes? If so , please please please notify me. Or tell me this, "Go read my FREAKING site, LAZY BUMB!"


Nothing intersting with me.
Big dance with a bastard (for school you understand) His name was Clovis. *shudder* oh the memories will remain.
Sickness. I've been for a week. Not much fun at all. I'm still trying to get my life in balance.

But Halloween is coming up. Yipee. Favorite holiday. And then my one year anniversery, and my birthday all in like one week. Crazy face.
WOW! Excitement!

I hated being away guys I really did.
I'll try and do this at least once every five days.

- Here's how I'll leave you off -


"Did you say you knew how to read a map?"
"Yes, infact I did."
"Then where the hell are we?"
"Not on the map."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, 'we are not on the map.'"
" . . . "
"See, we were here" Pointing to lovely spacious road. "Dotsville." Finger traces line. "Here's Spotsville and Tennessehouseville, and the other villes along the way."
"Uh huh uh huh" Nods complacently.
"Well. I don't see," looks up at sign, "Ho-ten-u-ten-i anywhere on here."
"Right."
"And, I'm pretty sure I didn't see a tourist sign saying watch out for ogres back along the highway." Grimaces.
"Oh. True." Pause indefinately.
"SOOOOOOOO....... "
" We're lost."
"Yep."


Bye bye

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Thursday, September 16, 2004

*sneak sneak sneak*
Oh.... hi there everyone.

Geez, I'm so so sorry that I've been absent for so long. I bet all of you stopped caring about a week ago, huh?
Oh well.
heh.

Anyway. Nothing tragic has happened anyway. You know, reality has just begun to crush me. I realized I had so much to do and so very little time to do it in.
And my life just keeps coming.

That and ... every time I want to post it always ends up being some depressed-fest about how scared I am.
And I"m determined not to talk about that anymore.

I hope everyone is doing great, or at least good, or at least okay. If you are doing poorly , I hope you feel better.

My life is going going gone as of right now. I'll try to keep you posted.
Thanks for sticking around, My-O's.

^_^

See ya
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Wednesday, September 8, 2004

Oh Curse My Soul
That's right. I'm cursing you sentimental, emotionally unstable Me!~!!!!!

*phew* Now that that's all over and done with.
I've got to find a way to de-stress .

This year is going to kill me.
I almost feel like giving up altogether. There are just too many choices, too many decisions, too many ways my life could go right now and I don't have the mental or physical capacity to deal with it all. It's dreadfully unfair.

And today I just had a bad experience.
I'm one of those "just-one-best-friend" kind of people. You've heard me mention her before, Hollie. Well, this other girl started to weedle her way into our group of two , Amber. And for the last week she's been quite pushy, but I've dealt with it. Rather nicely, since I'm more the kind of person to just tell her straight out what I think.
Today I finally did that, but I warned her first, told her I wasn't being mean or spiteful. I just said this, "Hollie and I have been best friends since the 8th grade, and there is so much going on here that you don't understand"
Long LONG stupid story short:
Amber wrote a NOTE *freakin' middle school behavior I swear* And here is my favorite part,
"I'm really surprised about Jessica, I wanted to be her friend. I thought she was a nice person."

Don't you just love the "I thought
Oh yeah. My favorite.

It actually hurt me a lot. And I wish it wouldn't.

Anyway. It all sucks so bad right now.
Any ideas people? On how to make things easier?

I'll take suggestions.

oh - and I hate that I haven't been able to visit sites lately. But I HAVE visited you commenters - sometimes I don't get the chance to leave a comment - so sorry.

See you all later.
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Monday, September 6, 2004

Is it Update TIME? Really? Amazing. ...
I've found the oddest passion.
Poetry.
Okay - "found" isn't the right word.
"Rediscovered" is perfect.

It's like I've jumped into the pool again, after only wading.
I've found myself adrift on an ocean of words.
It moves me.
My heart will burst when my lungs don't find air, only rhythm and ryhme.
Or freeform feelings
of lover's reeling
in the warm bath of emoting
love
And how many moments can I stay under?
Before I lose all sense of time and life and will and right and wrong and everything before black after white
above heaven
below hell
this wonderful spill of outpouring soul
and go wherever I'll go
and know whatever I'll know
with a chance that it all ends in pain
or a death that is slow as the rain
And in the end
there is no way to tell
The consequence is much too real
but I'll take those consequences and I'll leap into this ocean and I'll drown before I'm great or even missed
And that's alright
that's okay
I'd rather be jumping anyway
and I'd rather be dying anyway
then doing nothing at all

nothing
It's what I'm not doing
and I'm loving it



Eek. Sorry to freak you all out with my brain again

Oh well.

I'm tired now.
Night.



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