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Thursday, November 13, 2003


Day 18
Ah confusion. The word that best describes my life.
Malqomb explained some things to me. Of course, none of them should be true, and of course, all of them are.

#1 How I got here.
"You have always existed," he told me.
And of course I asked what the hell that was supposed to mean. Answer: "You belong here, and you always have." Not really an answer if you ask me.
What I got out of THAT conversation: I actually DO know this place, this world. Somehow I have always lived here but haven't known it (impossible?). It does explain why I recognize everything.
Apparently he summoned me here. Those words (Tierenma Maenma Kaien) are dangerous, because Malqomb won't speak them. He had to write them down to get me here (in this very book that I own now). I knew I didn't like them.

#2 My name that isn't my name.
Cassioankaiey is obviously NOT my name, but Malqomb says that I should know it because it is my true name. A name someone gave me.

Here's the thing. He won't tell me WHO gave me that name and he won't tell me WHY he summoned me.
My hand is tired, more later.
(I haven't told him about my recognition. And, unless he beats it out of me. I don't plan to tell.)

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