myOtaku.com: Maarii

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1986-10-08
Gender
• Female
Location
• somewhere you are not
Member Since
• 2003-10-05
Occupation
• a storyteller
Real Name
• Jess - but Maarii to everyone here!

Personal

Achievements
• staying partially sane
Anime Fan Since
• a while
Favorite Anime
• the cute, funny, serious, thought provoking ones
Goals
• to one day save the world and fall in love
Hobbies
• watching people, writing
Talents
• apparently blowing things up with my mind

myOtaku.com: Maarii

Friday, December 10, 2004

If I had a nickel .. . .
I feel lonely
As a cloud
that wanders above the daisy fields

... not original - lines (or almost lines )from somebody else's poem. somewhere I read once. Just seemed to fit my mood.

Anyway - i'm gonna type this random thing. cuz i feel like i should. you don't have to pay attention if you don't want to.

race
and the pace
in my skull
one is dull
one is beat
in my head
its the bed
and the fall
hurts

It's a race that I've been running
and my feet don't know the path
It's my eyes and the things that I saw too much wise it is for me
and the heart in my chest, a machine without rest
and my mind , most of all tireless cords plugging people, slots killing people killing me
I'm dead
It's a dead race
when the end can never be the beginning that you already - past - and the time you lost going so fast
towards that sign of day
it's bright until it goes away
and then you hate it
break it over your knee
if you could only ... just only
give this to someone else
Do I know that I deserve it?
I don't thik so, but to this -
it's a race I've been running - still runing

Keep it out of me though, because I don't deserve it.
Determination in a dead heart that refuses to give up the partiality inside that beats in me keeps in me until
I sleep - with weeping for others who recount their lives , painful ties to reality
Photographs I never see
and Never took becaue its not me who lived that life
anymore - it's like a constant situational theory never reality if always changing and defined in variables
experiments die off inside and thoughts deride.
I'll lose it again when its over
and gain it before I begin
With this - feet and eyes and heart and mind
not whole but hurt, these times are blind
to days we spend in nothing but unend
and nothing
do they see why we toil?
do we know why we creep and steal?
love is a generous thief
Leave it all to the race
leave it all to the pace of my heart
never slowing but I grow to accomodate all that I see
and I know that the end doesn't mean that I'm dead
just remembered
Remember the Race.
------------
that's the end of that sorry abot the tangent.
I'm going to go catch up on my guestbook and visit sites.

Love you all in very individual and warm and fuzzy ways
Happy Channuaka (sp?)
Merry X-mas
and all the days of all the rest
Comments (3)

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