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• maarii88
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Birthday
• 1986-10-08
Gender
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Female
Location
• somewhere you are not
Member Since
• 2003-10-05
Occupation
• a storyteller
Real Name
• Jess - but Maarii to everyone here!
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Achievements
• staying partially sane
Anime Fan Since
• a while
Favorite Anime
• the cute, funny, serious, thought provoking ones
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• to one day save the world and fall in love
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• watching people, writing
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• apparently blowing things up with my mind
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Saturday, March 6, 2004
Inclinations Toward the Future
The sun was bright when morning came. The clouds were all puffy in the sky. The grass was not beginning to turn green, but he knew it would soon.
He looked out the little window in his bedroom, out into the world, the big place he didn't understand. Then he started to do something rather unpleasant. He started to think.
It wasn't the process, or even the concept, of thinking that tended to depress him. It was the thoughts themselves. Things like, "Why is it I'm so alone?" "Why doesn't anyone understand me?" "Why doesn't anyone care?" "Why do I exist when I don't matter." I just don't matter.
They tended to run in that direction.
And he always tended to stop that train right in its tracks and send it back the way it had come. Not today, though, because today was Saturday, and Saturdays were much harder than every other day, even Sundays.
On Saturdays he lost all the strength to stop any train of thought, and it usually crashed into his feeling center sending him into emotional retardation for the rest of the week.
He looked around his room, at the fish tank, the glass prison and how the sunlight bounced around in the water like a fairy.
Then he took a step back from the window.
Why did he have to do it? Why did he have to do any of it? He didn't live in a fish tank. He lived in a world, a very big world, and there were thousands of paths he could tred, not just one track that had him running in circles. He had never really liked circles, because circles never did anything or went anywhere. He really didn't like it all.
"Marcus! Just leave me alone, I'm watching T.V.!" The screen was black, and he didn't say a thing. He had already decided.
Outside the sun was bright, but it was cold, and he had forgotten his jacket. He didn't stop, though, he just kept going. Going and going and going until he couldn't feel his cheeks anymore. He couldn't even feel the tears.
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