Sunday, September 28, 2003

   Let me sleep!
I went bowling at midnight last night. Yes, 12:00AM. It's Moonlite Bowl, and hot dog is it fun! I went with a whole bunch of people, like my mom, my uncly, Fluffy and his brother Meow, and someone from my mom's work and her family. We were pretty good, actually. But the DJ was soooo loud, we had to leave before it was over in an attempt to save our poor ears. Maybe next month the'll be better.

My dear new friend Reka has again generously loaned me stuff- the first manga of X, the first two of Dragon Knights, and the second fansub of .hack/sign. I lent her a bunch of miscellaneous stuff I can't even remember now. But basically, thanks a mil!

I met Reka's friend Kitty on Friday. I lent her the first Marmalade Boy manga, and she lent me this shoujo anthology from her sister's school. Here's one interesting point- I'm a junior. Reka's a sophomore. Kitty's a freshman. How the heck are we ever going to meet??????

Ciao!
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Thursday, September 25, 2003

   Yay for friends!
I have finally ventured forth into the unknown. I have divulged my secret otakuness to a rather spiffing gurl at my school, a sophomore. She's one of the head members of our Anime Club, and we had a rather scintillating Anime based conversation for about TWO HOURS! Then, today, she brought me a whole bunch of goodies! A Tokyopop sneaks book, a tape of the first three episodes of the subbed .hack//SIGN, a tape of something called RG Veda, and the soundtrack for .hack//SIGN, which I recorded to my computer as soon as I got home, and am listening to now. She is soooo nice! So I now say "Thank you, Reka!" with the utmost pesto. Or was it gusto? Anyway, thanks a mil!

Ciao!
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Tuesday, September 23, 2003

   Angels!
No, not up-in-Heaven angels. ANGELIC LAYER!

What's Angelic Layer? It's a very cool anime by CLAMP, based on a game of the same name. Yes, the game is made up. But who cares?

Until yesterday, I had only read the manga of Angelic Layer. But my friend Fluffy lent me the first DVD I'd ever watched at home. Yes, now I can watch DVD on my new computer. So he lent me the Newtype (rockin mag!) DVD of the month, which is Angelic Layer! And I got to see the first ep!

How is it? A bit cheesy, but I was expecting that. I've only seen it dubbed, but I'll watch it subbed later. The songs are cute, though. Quite fun.

I'm gonna watch more now!

Ciao!
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Monday, September 22, 2003

   migranes....
Dear God, I can't stand 'em! Migranes, I mean. They're just so... oooh!

Whay talk about migranes? Well, I had a horrible one on Friday that caused me to miss two electives, a math quiz, my history essay, and a big old CHEM TEST! Arrrgh! But my math teacher likes me, my history teacher... well, I handed it in, so I'm okay. And I actually got to go to lunch a half hour early today because my chem teacher kicked me out while the rest of the class went over the test. All in all, not too terrible results. But man, migranes still suck!

It's beem a pretty busy week. I had rehearsal for a play I'm in, I had to run around getting my medical form signed, then I had to get it signed AGAIN because my dog ate it. No, really!

More soon. But I gotta go help a teacher in a sec. Oh, and here's a shout out to Brother_Caine from Go Gaia. Hi!

Ciao!
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Monday, September 15, 2003

   Why I have no friends...
No, I'm not angry, I just feel sick and icky. Oh, right. I don't have friends listed because you acn pick them without them ever knowing. If I'm wrong, please correct me. But anyway, people who want to be listed as friends need only tell me (sign my GB, drop me a PM at OB, etc.)

Oh yeah, and I finally set up my otaku AIM name. So if anyone wants to IM me, I'm SacredSaturn. I'll update my profile... someday. In any event, I am SacredSaturn, and anyone who reads this will know. Now, I gotta go before mom gets home.

Ciao!
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Sunday, September 14, 2003

   EEEEEEEEEEEE
Wow, I'm not really sure how feel now. I just really wanted to thank anime girl for signing my GB. Oh, and everyone go check out her blog- it's awesome! You're awesome, anime girl! Yeah, you rock!

Ciao!
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Friday, September 12, 2003

   WAHOO! Aim, aim, AIM!
Oh yeah! I got AIM, I got AIM, I GOT AIM! Finally! Now I just need to decide what to do with it. I have a username. What is it? Not telling! Hahahahaha! Well, that's kinda because I only have outside me's AIM set up now. That is to say, the person within me who goes to school, meets her (few) friends, and leads a fairly normal life. I have yet to make a hidden me AIM that I WILL post here, so y'all can IM me whenever. Like anyone ever would. It'll prolly just be magikitsune or something of the like. I'll try to do that soon.

This new AIM will be an AIM for the secret me, the one I hide from the world I live in and show only to the few priviliged enough, and lucky enough to meet me at a con, or online at OB. Because yes, my secrets consist mainly of my otaku-ness.

Why must there be two different AIMs for these two different fragments of my soul(ooh, I like that!)? Because people who know know the outer me (who I'll name, eh, Starblaze!), cannot meet the people who know the inner me (who we'll call magikitsune for simplicity). I cannot allow these two worlds to collide. At least, not yet.

So I wait and bide my time. And so will you, at least if you want my AIM. So come back Monday (I think), and I'll have something to show for it.

Ciao!
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Thursday, September 11, 2003

Remember...
On September 11, 2001, two enormous buildings fell to their knees, and a city united in prayer.

Two years later, I woke up crying.

I ditched school today. Last year, my mother and I spent the day together. This year, she went to work. She said it was the least we could do, to go back to normal. But things have never been "normal" since.

This morning, I went walking in the park, on a dirt path deserted except for a few dogwalkers. I waited for the sirens. I waited for the bells. I listened, and I cried. I needed to know that someone remembered.

Then, once my tears had stopped, I collected a handful of acorns and came home. I am not sure why I did this, it just felt right. I immersed myself in television (specifically, a bunch of taped anime I had missed in Spain), and tried to prove that I could forget.

Yesterday, in my history class, we asked if we should even be learning history at all. And I thought of something. History is the only thing that sets people apart. It is the only true difference between one person and another. History caused this to happen two years ago. And history is why I hurt so much today.

A memory becomes history when one is able to forget it at will. But I don't want to forget, ever. I don't want anyone to be able to forget. This isn't to say I want people to cry every morning. I just want people to never forget the pain they felt. And the love it brought us.

It is not the pain I miss, but the love that came from it. Everyone stopped, shared, did what they could for other people. Now that this memory sinks into the mass of history, I fear that the love is vanishing too.

During the aftermath of the attacks, I cried often. But it wasn't really out of sadness. It was out of shock, fear, and unstability. This morning, two years later, I finally cried out of pain, sadness, hurt.

It scared me that I wasn't able to cry from sadness. I was afraid I was sheltered, or that this was truly meaningless to me. But now, my pain reassures me that I can indeed feel. My sadness makes me happy.

I think I can finally move forward now, to a place where I can remember the pain without it consuming me. I had blocked it, afraid to hurt. Now I embrace it, knowing that it is a sign that I am merely human. I am comforted by my crying.

I don't know if I'll be able to go to school next year on this day. I will try, that is certain. I think I will be able to. But the fact that I don't know reassures me of my humanity as well, and for the first time in two years, I think I'm finally at peace with myself, and the world, if only for a few moments.

This post was written by a New York City resident, who was at school in Midtown during the attacks. While I didn't know anyone in the towers personally, their memory still hurts. The images will haunt me forever. Why? I think it's because I'm still here. But now, I can smile through my tears.
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Wednesday, September 10, 2003

   My friends!
Because I have a free period right now, and connections with someone who sometimes sneaks me into an unused computer lab, I am currently sitting in the dark with very little to do. So, I have decided to tell you about three of my friends- Fluffy, Howl, and Poof. Of course those aren't their real names. While Fluffy knows that he's Fluffy, the others don't know that I've given them pseudonyms.

Anyway, Fluffy is basically my berry best friend. Yes, I know I said berry. To continue, he is the only one who knows about my otaku-ness, so our conversations often revolve around anime, since he is something of an otaku himelf. We are trying to build a collective manga library of sorts. However, this is somewhat dificult, because a good 80% or so of my personal library is shoujo, stuff like Tokyo Mew Mew and Cardcaptor Sakura. I do read some shounen, but not much. I am a huge fan of Rave Master tho(is that considered shounen?).
We've been friends since the end of ixth grade (which is about four and a half years, which just really shocked me), and we've both always been something of outcasts. Fluffy is really awesome and supportive and sweet, and he is just about the coolest friend ever.

I met Howl near the end of 9th grade (about a year and a half ago. She's a very nice girl, who has an obsession with vampires. She also is starting to like anime, which makes it somewhat harded to feign ignorance (what I do when people start talking about anime). Perhaps if her interest continues to grow, I'll let her in on my little secret. Anyway, Howl can sometimes be sad, and I don't know what to say to cheer her up. She has a very difficult relationship with her mother, and I really try to be there for her. We share a liking for all things mystical, however hers is geared mor towards the horrific, while mine is more towards the magical (I LOVE magic!). I hope to get to know her better.

Last for today is Poof, a strange girl I met at the beginning of 10th grade (one year ago). Poof can get over excited, has man hobbies, and tries to have many friends. I have taken numerous classes with her, and I feel that she always wants to have friends with her. She is more popular than my other friends. Now, the only thing I have against popular people is that they tend to exclude unpopular people, and this has happened to me with Poof. I sent her no postcards from Spain. This is because in late July, we made plans to do something one afternoon. She promised to call THAT AFTERNOON to confirm. And I her from her nearly one MONTH later, only when I bother to call her. She never said goodbye either. So she'll live without postcards. I enjoy spending short periods of time with her, but she's lost my trust. She'll have to earn it back.

Whatever. I'm doing well n school so far. I have four free periods a week, plus two electives that each meet twice a week. I'm taking Creative Writing and Dance, plus English, History, Chemistry, Precalculus, and NO LANGUAGE! I am free from the hold this school's spanish teachers have had over me! Yay!

Well, enough for now, I'm sure you'r tired of reading, and I have no more to write right now. So I'm off to OB. I really like it here. I can speak anonymously. I love it.

Ciao!
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Tuesday, September 9, 2003

   Cows can't go down stairs...
...yet a cow statue in NYC portrayed a slinky cow walking down lego stairs. I'm at school, and I need to waltz of to my first chem class EVER, but I wanna thank Drakelord186 for signing my GB! You are very wonderful, and I am sorry you've never been out of New England, but you will be!!

More @ lunchtime!

Ciao!
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