Sunday, September 7, 2003

   They like me... they REALLY like me!!!
Wow! Just when I'd given up all hope, TWO people signed my Guestbook today! So, as promised, you shall both be immortalized in my post. Thank you Hells Fire, for complimenting my banner and avi, and Neptunecat13, for liking my Spain portion of the blog. And thank you BOTH for signing, you gloriouus people you. I will be signing your GBs tomorrow, but my mom's yelling at me, so I only have a couple more minutes. You see, I'm late for my date with Ben. Who? Why Ben Franklin ofr course, whose autobiography I should've read eons ago. So, I'd better hop to it- don't wanna keep him waiting!

Ciao! (and thanks again Hells Fire and Neptunecat13!!!!)
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Saturday, September 6, 2003

   HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On my, yes indeed- I'M REALLY HOME!!!!!!

It feels absolutely marvelous to be home. Yes, I'm still sunburned(note the smiley), and the jet lag is taking its toll, but none of that matters now 'CAUSE I'M HOME!!!!

Did I hate my trip? Of course not. Some parts of it were fun, some were not. In fact, I find this trip amazingly similar to life itself. It had an amazing number of experiences and emotions in it. So I did not HATE this trip. I am simply happy to be home.

I would like to note here that this is actually the first post that I've done from home. The first was done at my mom's office, the next at a downtown internet cafe, and the rest from points in Spain. I rarely botherto use my home computer for internet because it's something of a hassle. But I can't go anywhere now (homework grounding) and I just wanted to say that I'm HOOOOOME!

Ciao! (and goodbye to my nice little upside-down exclamation point!)
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Thursday, September 4, 2003

   Anime in Spain!!!!!!!
Wow! That was soooooooo cool! I just came from my hotel room, where I saw something I thought I´d never find here- ANIME! But I couldn´t understand a word of it. No, it wasn´t in Spanish. It was in what I´m pretty sure was... German! Yup, Japanese anime dubbed in German broadcasted in Spain. Who woulda thunk it?

Anyway, the second one I saw was most definitely the first episode of Pilot Candidate (I´ve seen it myself, plus they said so about ten times), but the other one was new to me.

There was this guy named Kamui(I think), who had black hair and wore what seemed to be a black school uniform with red trim, a guy with a yellow jacket, a dark shirt with a red "A", gray pants and an orange cap (oh, and they both jumped on rooftops), some preist guy with a cool looking sword (that later got stolen by this guy that controlled cloth stips), this girl with fluffy brown hair, and this other guy with dark hair who was playing basketball when he and Kamui had a vision of them fighting eachother. Oh, are there was this woman who went to the hospital, and then there was blood (ick)

Anyone know what that is? ´Sall for now!

¡Ciao!
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   Yay again!
One of my RPG´s started today, do let´s dive into this! Too bad I can´t post now, but I´m going on a camel ride. No, really! NO, REALLY!!! I mean, when in Lanzarote, do as the... uh.. Lanzaroteans do!

This is my last day in the Canary Islands. Tomorrow morning I fly to Madrid, and after a couple of hours I fly home to good ol´NYC.

I really didn´t want to come on this trip in the first place, and I did manage to get myself a really nasty sunburn (I´m peeling! Ugh, maybe that was TMI), but I´m actually kinda glad I came.

Just don´t tell my mother that!

¡Ciao!
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Wednesday, September 3, 2003

   YAAAAAAAAY!
I found an internet cafe! Actually, I found TWO- the one that I´m at now, at a shopping center called Deliland or something, and one much closer to our hotel. So I can still post, and surf the net to my heart´s content (at least as long as mom keeps the change coming!). An interesting note- the cafe I´m at now is called Cyberia. A subconscious ode to the club of the same name in Serial Experiments Lain? A coincidence? Hmmmmmm.... Anyway, I´ll postb more later. Gotta zip!

¡Ciao! (Yay! I can do this again!¡!¡!)
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   She's baaaaaack...
At least, I'm back in Lanzarote, the place with the funky keyboard. The good part about that is I'm back where there's a pool (and people!), but the internet here is FOUR TIMES as expensive, so I won't be able to post as much. Ah well, at least I'll be home onb Friday. More L8R (hopefully).

Ciao! (Awww, no more upside-down exclamation)
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Tuesday, September 2, 2003

   Wheeeeeeeee!
Wow, I´m feeling sooooo much better today! I talked with my mom (who´s both really cool and a total b****, depending on her mood), and my friend Fluffy, and I feel great! Also, I´m getting into online RPGs here at OB. I´m pretty new at it, but I submitted two character bios for two that looked cool. One, the guy said, looked great. ^_^ I´m so happy! I´ve been reading some already in progress RPGs to get a feel for it, but any tips would be appreciated! Oh, lunchtime now!

¡Ciao!
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Monday, September 1, 2003

   ...
After I last wrote,I went to aridge by the ocean,and easily climbed up. Once I did that, I smiled. It´s easy to do what you KNOW you aren´t going to do. So readers (yeah, like I have any), you needn´t worry. I´m safe.

I will try not to plague this blog with any more suicidal entries. Please bear with me.

Music soothes the soul.
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   Scared...
I just came from my room at an itty bitty hotel. I have no pen and paper journal with me, so I thought I´d write here.

I was going to go to the beach with my mother and her retreat group, but I told her I wasn´t sure, and they left.

In every group, I want to be invited, but I make the group work to invite me to be sure I´m wanted. As a result, I´m never in a group. I push people away from the start, so that I´ll never be regected.

I am very lonely here. I hate my mother for making me come. Even more for not letting me spend what time I can at this computer, where I can at least express myself and connect to civilization.

When I made my way back to my room, I went out to our small balcony. Then, I stood on a chair and tried to get up onto the railing. But I couldn´t do it. I was just too scared.

I once read/heard thet fear is a good thing, that it tells people what´s bad for them, that it makes them stronger. But it is definitely limiting. One who is truly fearless can do anything. Of course, that´s what I´m scared of.

Fearlessness completely frees a person of limits, and in some ways, of all common sense. A person who is afraid of nothing can do anything. And very often, they will.

I have often said to myself that I am not afraid of dying, merely of the pain that it may cause my loved ones. But lately, I am wondering if they love me back. As I said, I often push people away, to the point that they simply stop trying. I am too scared to be alone, too scared to be accepted.

Too afraid to die, too afraid to live.
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   Popularity is a pickle friend...
...or was it fickle? Whatever. What I´m wondering is why I´m rated #307 out of 3878 members in myotaku, but no one ever comes to my site? Seriously, there´ve been 10 visits, at least half of which were me making sure my quiz pictures looked okay. Oh, but someone signed my guestbook! Yay! Thank you Wondershot, you marvelous person you!

Oh, now we have incentive (sp?)! Hear ye, hear ye! Anyone who signs my guestbook will be glorfied in a daily post! (not like anyone visits the site in the first place, tho...)

Whatever. NEways, it´s nearly lunch time! Uh, scratch that. It´s actually way past lunch, so I better go before the pizza(or whatever)´s gone!

¡Ciao!
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