Friday, April 8, 2005

Convention!
Mini-con is tomorrow! :3 Really excited about it. Not quite as big as most of the cons, but it was fun the last two years.

This is the first happy post I've made since I first got an account here, come to think of it.. Oh well.

I'ma have fun tomorrow. Bye. ^-^
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Monday, March 21, 2005

Sakura
The distance ended up being too much for Sakura.. She wasn't happy being with me considering we're fourteen-hundred miles away from each other.. I can't blame her. Even though I was going to visit her this summer, it'd wouldn't be permanent, and it'd end up bringing more pain.. But there's a key difference between us.

I'm willing to wait, no matter how long it takes.. Really, the only thing keeping me from begging her to come back out with me is that she was unhappy with me as of late. Really, but life feels very empty now. Everything I thought of, everything I wanted involved being with her. Now it feels like I don't have anything..

And I'm pretty sure that she likes this new guy that she met over the weekend, Ryan. ..I don't know what to do. I feel like I have no reason to really live anymore. I'll just.. do what I can to be a good friend to her, though that will kill me inside, and as we agreed, I'd ask her out in a month. We're just seeing how this will work, I suppose.. Of course, I can't very well ask her out if she's going out with someone by then..

Why is it that she ends up liking so many people? This is at least the third person that she's liked since going out with me (considering she really does like him). I haven't like anyone else. She's all I want.

Anyway, I went to the dentists today. I talked with him about physics while he numbed my face and drilled my teeth. o_o; Just a white filling thing.. Yeah, now I can't feel half my face.
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Wednesday, January 12, 2005

I'm sure what few readers I have are getting annoyed by every post being "I wanna die.." kind of posts. Well, those are really the only times I even feel like writing, and.. That's basically how I feel. Things seem to get better, just for things to get blown back into my face. I get to talk to my girlfriend for maybe an hour a day, more or less. It's fine, because she's busy with school and with a competitiong thing she's going to and all.. But she spent six hours just playing video games today instead of getting online or anything, and she has yet to do her homework. I just can't help but feel that she's getting annoyed and/ or bored with me or something. I know this kind of attitude that I have is one of the main reasons I even annoy her, but that's all I have to say. I have no idea what to do to save my relationship with her except for visiting her in person, or by something or her own doing. I won't get to see her until a minimum if six months, one half of the time we've been together to begin with.. :: Sighs. :: I just wish I knew what to do..
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005

>.
Out of the fire into the frying pan.. And no, don't be " O.O You're wrong! You dumbass retard! Rahhhh!!" . I'm using that as in I went from one really bad thing to a slightly less bad thing.. I haven't heard about the Ken thingue in a while, and Sakura actually seemed to be talking to me and happy again.. Suddenly, something happens, and I have no godly idea what it is.. Dal knows, of course. She tells him everything, according to him.. He says she's acting like it's worse than it is, and both have said that it isn't any of my business. It's extremely upsetting. I'm fine if she's fine, but she tells me she needs time to think about stuff and all, and I very, very rarely get to talk to her at all. I haven't talk to her on the phone in days, and she always seems to be upset online.. I just wish I knew what it was.. For some reason that is not mine to be known, I don't get to talk to the only person that really matters to me.
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Thursday, December 30, 2004

Blech...
It's a terrible feeling to know that the person you love likes someone else. My girlfriend of 364 days (that's right, our anniversary is tomorrow..) has been liking someone nearly six years older than her. She still loves me, she says, but we've only ever talked over the phone and online. I guess she kind of needs something there for her, but it's extremely aggravating. I don't know what to do..
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