Sunday, May 9, 2010

   Hey guys.
Well, I had to go to some evaluations and everything. My mom and Kat took me to all these 'special places', until we decided on one..I'm not gonna say what its called or where its at, but Im spending Mothers Day here at home, then Im leaving on like tuesday, and idk when I'll be back..
shit.



Age: 19
Height: 5’2
Weight: 80-85lbs..this morning I was 81
Dress Size: i dont even know, I make my own stuff lately.
Highest Weight: shit like 125? I was such a fatass
Lowest Weight (at height): 77lbs. Lasted like 2 days.
Goal Weight: maybe 90? But I need to be 101 to be 'healthy'
Favorite Diet Food: water and an orange.
Favorite Binge Food: russian food
Favorite Exercise: running
Favorite Thinspo: haha,
Where Do You Slip Up: when Im with friends and family.

When Did It Start?
Hating your body: junior high
Restricting/counting: I was 15
Does Anyone Know: obviously.
You Want Help: I think I do.

How Many Calories Do You Consume A Day: under 500
What Do You See When You Look In The Mirror: fat fat, stomach, never enough.
Are You In A Relationship: yea.
Are You Depressed: by the standards, yes.
Ever Tried To Commit Suicide: =(
Ever Been To A Psychologist: yes

I AM -
[x] anorexic
[x] ednos
[no but ive done it] bulimic
[ ] living off diet pills
[ ] hungry
[x] thirsty
[x] drinking something
[x] Under 100lbs
[x] starving yourself
[ ] participating in a fast


PEOPLE -
[x] ask if I’m anorexic/bulimic
[ ] call me fat
[x] say I’m skinny
[x] say I’m ugly
[x] say I’m pretty
[x] spread rumors about me
[x] force me to eat
[ ] say I eat too much
[x] wish I’d eat more
[x] don’t know I’m anorexic/bulimic

I WISH -
[x] I was THIN
[x] I had a better body
[x] I didn’t have to eat
[x] I could control myself
[ ] I was under 110lbs
[x] I could avoid food
[x] I could hide what I am
[x] I wasn’t fat
[x] I was pretty
[ ] I could stop being ana/mia then maybe i would be a little more normal


I LOVE -
[x] feeling hungry
[x] seeing a difference when fasting
[x] shaking
[x] being weak
[x] losing weight
[ ] being anorexic/bulimic
[x] green tea
[ ] diet pills
[x] being able to turn down food
[x] feeling good about myself

APPEARANCE -
[x] I am shorter than 5’4.
[x] I think I’m ugly sometimes.
[x] I have many scars.
[ ] I tan easily.
[ ] I wish my hair was a different color.
[x] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[x] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[x] I have/had braces.
[x] I wear glasses.
[x] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
[x] I have more than 2 piercings.
[x] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
[x] I have freckles.


FAMILY -
[x] I’ve sworn at my parents.
[ ] I’ve run away from home.
[ ] I’ve been kicked out of the house.
[x] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I’ve had children.
[ ] I’ve lost a child.


EMBARRASSMENT -
[x] I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.
[x] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I’ve peed from laughing.
[ ] I’ve snorted while laughing.
[x] I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
[x] I’ve glued my hand to something
[ ] I’ve laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[ ] I’ve had my trousers rip in public.

RELATIONSHIPS -
[ ] I’m single
[x] I’m in a relationship.
[ ] I’m married.
[ ] I’ve gone on a blind date.
[ ] I’ve been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[x] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I’ve cheated in a relationship.
[ ] I’ve gotten divorced
[x] I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
[ ] I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
[x] I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
[x] I’ve kept something from a past relationship.

SEXUALITY -
[x] I’ve had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[ ] I’ve had a crush on a teacher.
[ ] I am a cuddler.
[x] I’ve been kissed in the rain.
[x] I’ve hugged a stranger.
[x] I have kissed a stranger.

HONESTY -
[x] I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t
[x] I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
[x] I’ve snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[ ] I’ve cheated while playing a game.
[x] I’ve cheated on a test.
[x] I’ve been suspended from school.


BAD TIMES -
[x] I’ve consumed alcohol.
[ ] I regularly drink.
[ ] I can’t swallow pills.
[x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[x] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression at some point.
[x] I shut others out when I’m upset.
[x] I take anti-depressants.
[x] I’m anorexic or bulimic or have EDNOS.
[x] I’ve slept an entire day when I didn’t need it.
[x] I’ve hurt myself on purpose.
[ ] I’m addicted to self harm.
[x] I’ve woken up crying
[x] I’ve lost weight
[x] I’ve gained weight
[x] My weight holds me back
[x] Weight consumes me.
[x] I’m at my thinnest
[ ] I’m at my biggest
[x] I’ve lost weight and kept it off
[x] I’ve lost weight but gained it back
[x] My weight affects my mood
[x] I weigh myself daily
[ ] I am jealous of everyone smaller than me
[ ] I thrive on compliments
[ ] I feel bigger than people who are my size
[x] I feel happy when I’m hungry
[x] I get depressed after I eat
[x] I’ve skipped a meal
[x] I’ve thrown food away
[x] I’ve spat food out
[x] I’ve fasted
[x] I’ve taken diet pills
[x]I’ve used laxatives
[x] I’ve purged
[x] I exercise
[ ] I exercise so I can eat
[ ] I work out secretly
[ ] I work out daily
[ ] I exercise to counteract eating
[x] I’ve fainted from exhaustion

I’VE DONE -
[x] Weed
[x] Cigarettes
[x] Alcohol
[x] Diet pills
[x] Pain killers
[x] Anti-depressants
[x] Ecstasy
[ ] LSD
[ ] Mushrooms
[ ] Speed
[ ] Cocaine
[ ] Other
[x] I keep my eating habits a secret
[ ] I have a diet blog
[x] I look at thinspo
[x] I collect thinspo
[x] I’m doing this for me
[] I’m doing this for someone
[x] I’m doing this to prove myself


well that was depressing.
I've got to go, I'm going to go sleep everything off.
Comments (0)