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Sunday, September 5, 2010
I'm back
Whoah. That was..quite an experience. I don't even know if I should go into details. I got worse, at first. It was so, so bad. Remi came and told me Miles didn't want to see me like that. Grant visited and I fucking made him cry :(
I realized I couldn't keep doing this to the people I care most about. I don't want to hurt them, ever. It was hard, and fucking grueling but I think I stabilized myself. As best that someone who was fucking 80lbs can. I'm at 95lbs now. They weren't gonna let me out til I was 101, so I got up to 100, and I just gained water weight right before my last weigh in. I dropped back down to 95 pretty quickly after I got home. I know its sneaky and I'm not supposed to, but I'm better! God Rem's gonna kill me if she reads this. I don't understand why they find it so important for me to be at least 101. I'm fine!
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