Friday, August 26, 2005

Wee....
Okay...I am having an okay time...yep Ryan is still around me...yeah he is a total cutie...but I know that he is straight and that I have a boyfriend...he is just the next best thing to keep me in comfort while my boyfriend is away...I am just so lonely...meep...Ryan is a really good friend too...though I wish that he was gay....but he isnt...sigh...oh well...at least he is fun to look at! ;3 Okay see ya!
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Thursday, August 18, 2005

ROAR?
I am back...Ryan has been staying the night over at my house and I have been staying over at his...his parents know that I am gay and they are okay with it! I think they are cool. Ryan is cute too...I want a picture of him...to put in my SeniorBook of memories...with his shirt off of course! :3 I had fun with him too! He is going to come back this Saturday to have some more fun! I cant wait...no not that way sickos...you'll never know anyway. lol...c'ya!
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Wednesday, August 10, 2005

   Im Back!
I am sorry everyone for worrying you! I am feeling better and I havent gotten any time to get on the computer because it caught a virus...my father is going to take it in to his work to get it fixed and guess what? My BOYFRIEND E-MAILED ME!!! I am SO happy! ;]

Ryan is pretty dorky...he is funny...he makes me laugh! He is giving me a dirty look...and something else!

I am just joking...lol...or am I? *laughing evily* I cant help but laugh at him because he is watching me do this. But I am at the computer...at the library...this is the only time I could do this until it gets fixed! Okay well...I gotta go now friends...love ya all...even you...even though he is watchin me!
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Sunday, July 31, 2005

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Steven Eugene Holland
Birthday:	February 1, 1988
Birthplace:	Spokan,Washington/Holy Hospital
Current Location:	Canby, Oregon
Eye Color:	Silver-Blue
Hair Color:	Dark Brown
Height:	6'5"
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Right Handed
Your Heritage:	Caucasian(White)
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Lion Sandals
Your Weakness:	Being away from my love, being with my love...odd right!? Hehe.
Your Fears:	Losing my love, being with a female...being able not to love again, not obtaining the dreams I am working for.
Your Perfect Pizza:	Rather eat my Boyfriend...
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Pass High School...thats all...oh and to get lots of money and get a scholarship to the Art Institute of Seattle!
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	C'ya...
Thoughts First Waking Up:	Shower time!!
Your Best Physical Feature:	I dont know...my face...my hair...my chest, my arms...biceps? Triceps? I dont know...I like my body though and I get alot of compliments!
Your Bedtime:	I go to bed around 9:00pm, hey...I need to stay pretty ya know.
Your Most Missed Memory:	I dont dwell on the past...too many death experiences.
Pepsi or Coke:	Eh...nothin' Sprite...or just plain lemonlime!
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Burga King! :3
Single or Group Dates:	Anything as long as I am with my Boyfriend!
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Lipton Ice Tea please!
Chocolate or Vanilla:	...well...if it is a milkshake...I choose...both!
Cappuccino or Coffee:	None...dont drink coffee or whatever...it stunts your growth!
Do you Smoke:	Hell ya! Ha...just jokin'
Do you Swear:	...Not that much...only when I am...on a break down...
Do you Sing:	I love to sing~
Do you Shower Daily:	Yep...that way I smell good and become someones snack! ;3
Have you Been in Love:	I am n' love!
Do you want to go to College:	Yep! The Art Institute of Seattle!
Do you want to get Married:	Yes, if it were possible...damn the laws...
Do you belive in yourself:	Yes...I have the greatest talents, I just have to believe in myself!
Do you get Motion Sickness:	A little...sometimes in cars...not sure in trains...yeah...a whole lot in small boats...I am scared of the ocean...
Do you think you are Attractive:	I think I am a sexy slave...lol...sex slave! ;3
Are you a Health Freak:	I am pretty skinny...well...I dont really think that I am all that skinny though...
Do you get along with your Parents:	Sometimes...I best get along with my mother...Laura...
Do you like Thunderstorms:	Only if it were rainin' a whole lot...fillin up the streets with water!
Do you play an Instrument:	Nope...used too...a flute when I was in elementary school...dont know why I did though...and I played an Indain flute not too long ago...
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	I dont drink...
In the past month have you Smoked:	I dont smoke either...
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	Nope...drugs are bad, m'kay!
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	I think I was on a date...I think...no...that was 2 months ago with my boyfriend...
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	No...I want to though...
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	Nope...dont really like to eat those kind of sweets...
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	No...I love fish food...in Japanese Restaurants!
In the past month have you been on Stage:	Sorry...I havent...unless you call singin' in my dreams singing on a stage....but yeah...oh, well...
In the past month have you been Dumped:	No...
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	I dont go naked in "public"...
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	Not at all, I dont steal, it is bad and people work hard for their supplies...it is already bad on the Earth today...
Ever been Drunk:	Not at all...I dont drink...
Ever been called a Tease:	Yes...lots of times...
Ever been Beaten up:	No, never meet anybody who wanted to beat me up except for a girl but I dont care about them...their punches tickle...though some of the girls out there are real brutes!
Ever Shoplifted:	No...well...only when I was in Elementary School...I was really hungry and I grabbed a Starburst bar and put it in my pocket and I was in the cart and I ate it when I got home when no one was lookin'....
How do you want to Die:	With my lover...
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	A famous artist...
What country would you most like to Visit:	London? France? Some place beautiful...
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	Green, Blue, Yellow?
Favourite Hair Color:	Blonde...Burnette?
Short or Long Hair:	Medium...or short...I dont care...depends on the person...
Height:	5'8" -6'7"
Weight:	I dont care...just as long as he is fit...
Best Clothing Style:	His own style...
Number of Drugs I have taken:	None...
Number of CDs I own:	Hundreds...
Number of Piercings:	I want one with a silver ring on my left ear lobe...
Number of Tattoos:	I want a tattoo of a lion on my right upper arm...
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	Alot...but not all of them...I love how I grew up!
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

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The Dayz go by...no word has spoken...I love you...
I have not heard from my lover...I love him so...gone for a long time since we last saw...we last spoke of each other. Wanting to be held in his embrace once more. I fear for his safety...if he is still in this world. I fear that he is hurt and that he couldnt contact me. I just pray for his protection and that someday or soon that he could tell me how he is doin'. I just want to see him...for all these long nights have not been the same without him...I shed my tears for our love...once more.
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Saturday, July 30, 2005

Over at friends house...
Okay, my cousins got married yesterday...I missed out...I went to my friends house to "play with him" MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHA...lol...I am just kidding...nah...isnt my type of guy... :] He went a little crazy when he saw me type that...he is just staring at the computer screen wonderin' what I am gonna type next about his ass...lol...dont bring that jive shit back here with ya beady lil' eyes of yours and your flappin' jaws! :3 Wee...this is so much fun talking about him when he is watchin'

"Okay"

Heheheheh...yeah...he is going crazy now...but yeah...I do worry about my boyfriend being gone...but I do still have faith. Quite lookin' at me boy...before I go ova there and shove my foot up ya ass all the way up to the knee bitch. Yeah, I am a bit crazy now...kinda sick ya? My stomach...ouh...gonna...hurl...in his face...MUAHAHHHAHAHA!!! :3

"thats nasty"

I love mocking this lil' boy...he think he is taller than me...but he is bigger than me in...mass! *lifts finger up with grin* Hehe...he is giving me and dirty look now. *smiles madly* I AM GOING TO TYPE FOREVER!!!!

*chuckles in background*

Hey, lil' friend why do ya have an afro or something? Do ya want me to give ya a perm or something so that you can actually show off your 70's hair style! :3

"no"

Yes you do beyatch!

*farts in the background* "thats all I have ta say"

Dud that is so gross. You definately need a tictac or somethin' cause ya ass stinks!

*giggles insanely in the background* "giggles? I dont giggle! I dont giggle...I laugh."

Sure...you are so crazy that...wait...are your breast plastic? Lemme feel em'

*moves away*

Okay...their fake...did ya get implants or somethin'?

"Im gonna stab you in the head"

Okay...your definately nuts lil' shorty! :3 *snickers at him from a distance* Okay...well, I just feel goofy...today...okay. Well I have ta go...okay...well, love ya all! :3 I hope I intertained you all! :3 Okay...c'ya!
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Thursday, July 28, 2005

Emotional....
I kinda feel emotionally sick...my boyfriend didnt show yet...I do hope that he does come over...and plus I think my computer has a virus for it shut down for no reason. My poor computer...so I have ta go to the library to see if he is e-mailin' me or not...I havent heard from him in days or weeks...I am scared for his safety...and I hope that he is going to come to my house. I just want to spend time with him...asap...I have ta go home now and see if he is still gonna come over...c'ya.
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Wednesday, July 27, 2005

One more day....tomorrow...
Okay, Michael is coming to my house tomorrow. I am so excited, the days are going by quickly. One of my friends said that gay guys cant french...I said, yeah they can...but that is some kind of weird arguement and know they want me to prove them wrong by doing a fake out make out...I cant do that becasue they said that you still have to use your tongue but not with as much passion...I think that I would throw up if I find any girls tongue in my mouth. Kinda makes me sick thinking about it...but I do enjoy lustfully kissing my boyfriend though...and yes it was a FRENCH KISS...gay guys can indeed do that. Well, chao...oui oui.
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Tuesday, July 26, 2005

The lion is out of the cage...run lion, run!!!!
Okay about the title, yesterday, my mother was asking about the friend that was coming over on the 28th, right? Well, she knows that I am gay, for I had told her, and well, she asked, is this guy gay? I said, maybe...it depends...my mother is just a little worried. She wanted me to grow up and have a family with kids...she said something about adopting...but the government says that gays cant adopt, and that well, my mom says that kids shouldnt be growing up in a gay family. I dont really like kids anyway, I didnt even plan on having any...my mom knows everything now, but she told me that she doesnt want any kind of foul play in the house...lol...well...I guess I can try to respect her rules...but who said sleeping and showering together is foul? Nope, nothing right? Well, I am totally bored, no PM's for me today...what, are you people bored to talk to me? Oh well, I guess I should just go then...after I leave some vaulable wisdom...

~The Dreams of many Strengthen the Hearts of One~
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Monday, July 25, 2005

Sorry...
I am getting kind of worried...I havent heard from my boyfriend...I hope he is still coming over on the 28th like he told me. He told me that sometimes there are people down there in Dallas,OR. That kill gays...one of my boyfriends gay friends was killed down there and...I just hope his fate is to die there...I hope he is alright. We had a BBQ yesterday. Really stupid...always being muddled by a female, ya? I cant even have my own space to play a video game...thank god she didnt kill me on KingdomHearts. I beaten the game on Expert like always and havent even died on there even once...I seen my friends die all of the time! :3 But, sigh...my boyfriend...only 3 more days until he is supposed to be down here...I was looking forward to be seeing him and actually enjoy what I really like to do than to be with females. The only one I love is my mother...I hate my father...but he is so-so. After the BBQ, when the people left. I told my parents that the girl that was there in my room kept on trying to get on me and stuff...kissing me. *hurls* I dont like that stuff one bit from a...a female. My parents want me to go out with her..."give it a chance Steven." you dont even know how hard it is for me, I wanted to yell out to the whole neighborhood that I am a homosexual...so that all of the females would stay away from me, not because I am just saying so...but because, I REALLY AM!! I hope he is able to come on the day that he is supposed to come down here...the 28, the Thursday of this week and month...he'll be able to stay the night...who knows...my parents arent going to be home in the morning so maybe we can take a shower together, he has been trying to get me to do it with him...I told him at the time that I was really nervous to do it, he told me that it is okay if I dont want to just yet, there are always gonna be times to do it later for we take showers everyday. ((or more)) There isnt anything on your body that I havent seen. That is what my boyfriend siad, though I am a bit embarrassed saying it myself, *blushes*. Well, I better get packing...for my trip to Dallas,OR with my boyfriend. C'ya, deep freeze!

Sora'

Nah,

its Steven...
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