Monday, February 23, 2004

Yet Another Rant

Nipplegate (Janet's breast exposure). Sure, it violated a major FCC rule concerning obscene material and broadcast TV, but come on. Is it entirely necessary to fine every network-affiliate TV station across the country that aired it? I mean, Canadians are making fun of us for making such a big deal about it. "How does the country that produces the most porn get offended by one breast?" Honestly, I missed it. I was at work. Even if I did catch the game, I probably would've missed it when I blinked. Which will be the worst Cinderella-based movie to come out this year? A Cinderella Story starring Hilary Duff, or Ella Enchanted starring the girl from Princess Diaries? One is the modern-day retelling where a girl from LA leaves her cellphone at a party. The other is Cinderella if her godmother screwed her over with a bad wish. Choose your pick. Has anyone else seen the trailer for the Spongebob movie? Tsk tsk. Profanity in the trailer to a kids movie. I wouldn't be surprised if the movie managed a PG rating. Not that I'll see the whole thing, anyway. I love the little sponge and all, but I can only take him in 7-minute doses. Can I show a preview of a good movie at my job? That's all I ask. None of these crap-fests, like the sequel to Cody Banks or Julia Stiles falling in love with the prince of Denmark. I'm serious. I've seen so many versions of the commercials for The Prince & Me that I now know how the movie begins and ends. I think it's fairly obvious that nobody should ever go on Showtime At The Apollo. Rappers get booed off, no matter how good they are. Comedians don't get nearly as many laughs as they should. Even some really really good singers get booed off the stage for looking better than the women in the audience. And how embarrassing is it to know that there's a tap-dancing clown making it in the entertainment business, but you got booed off of the stage after singing better than half of today's pop stars? A bit of advice: Don't allow Al Gore to endorse your campaign. You'd think, as a black man, I'd be able to get black people to take surveys in the mall. You'd be wrong. Black people don't like black people. We talk a lot about black unity and how the revolution will be televised, but until I can get a black person to at least take 30 seconds to watch a commercial, there will be no revolution. I can't even get a little help at my job. We just don't help each other. We cover it up by calling each other brothas and sistas. It's upsetting, really. My mother's boyfriend gave my hair a trim... at least that's the technical term for it. Prefer to call it a hack-job. He turned off all of the lights in the room, blindfolded himself, and took a few wild guesses. Now the entire right side of my head has less hair than the rest. I'd go to a barber to fix it, but then they'd have to cut it all off. I've been trying to grow out my hair since August. Why must fate always find a reason for me to get all of my hair cut off? Can I go one full year without going bald again? That's all I ask. Much Love

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Saturday, February 21, 2004

Guess Who Has A New PC

Well, my new Dell finally arrived in the mail yesterday. I know it shouldn't have taken me all day to set it up, but that's what happens when I transfer all of my personal files from one computer to CD to another computer. I have backups of my website and articles to work on, you know. So what's the difference between my new and old computers? Let's consult the chart... NEW PC OLD PC Intel Pentium 4 Processor Intel Celeron Processor 80GB HD 4GB HD 128MB RAM 32MB RAM And there you have it. Not exactly pop of the line, but it's more than a step up from where I was before. At least now I can play the PC Game my cousin bought for me back in 1999. I would've gotten something better, but I'm practically working minimum wage, here.

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Saturday, February 14, 2004

Happy Valentine's Day (lyrics by Andre Benjamin of Outkast)

My name is Cupid Valentino, the modern day cupid. I just want to say one thing. (Verse 1) Happy Valentine's Day! Every day the 14th! I don't think ya'll heard me? I just wanna say Happy Valentine's Day! Every day the 14th! Can ya'll dig that? Now when arrows don't penetrate, Cupid grabs the pistol, He shoots straight for your heart, And he won't miss you. That's alright ya'll won't believe in me anyway but, Ya won't believe in me but you would fancy leprechauns or ground hogs, No thank you, Easter Bunny! There's all this talk about Santa Claus, but see love will rule supreme. (Verse 2) Happy Valentine's Day! Every day the 14th! When cupid knocks at your door, You can't ignore me (there's no need to run) Happy Valentine's Day! Every day the 14th! If you know what love means Somebody tell me. Ya won't believe in me but you would fancy leprechauns or ground hogs, No thank you, Easter Bunny! There's so much fuss about Santa Claus, But see cupid will not be defeated. (Verse 3) Happy Valentine's Day! Every day the 14th! Now I know your hearts have grown cold, and that bothers me. Now I understand 'cause I used to be a bad boy in my day. I know your tryin' to protect your lil' feelings, But you can't run away. Ya won't believe in me but you would fancy, Hey don't you suppose to be some kind of player or somethin'... Bunny!! Well keep on runnin', player cause I got my good shoes on And I got 'em tied up tight, so your gon' find out tonight. (Rap Verse) Got a sweet lil' darling back in my corner Below I know I love her but, act like I don't want her Surrounded by the lovely but yet feel like a loner Could be an organ donor, The way I'd give up my heart but never know because shit I never tell her Ask me how I'm feeling I'd holla that it's irrel' I don't get myself caught in the Jello jella, And pudding pops that other opt to call falling in love but, For the record have you ever rode a horse? Likely you just sent me to Pluto, I said of course But if you ain't a sweety indeedy I won't endorse Han Solo till I'm hit by bullets, obey the force Bewitch you, and I rich you in better time permits For now show me samples, examples why your the shit But how am I to know with the profession that I'm in And if you do not know me then how could you be my friend (x3) Happy Valentine Happy Valentine (Valentine) Happy Valentine's Day (Happy Valentine's Day) Happy Valentine f*ck that Valentine(Valentine) f*ck that Valentine's Day (f*ck that Valentine's Day) (x3) f*ck that Valentine f*ck that Valentine (Valentine) f*ck that Valentine's Day (f*ck that Valentine's Day)

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Friday, February 13, 2004

   Rant: Only 99 Rupees?

Here comes another rant - Legend of Zelda style! What's up with Link only holding 99 rupees at a time? I mean seriously. The rupees are as big as he is! Any bag that can hold two of those things should be able to hold at least 100. And why is everything so freaking expensive? I'm only trying to buy a deku stick! You'd think one jewel the size of a small child would take care of the bill, but it apparently takes 5 of them. Then again, rupees are really really common. All you have to do is chop down any old bush in the grass, and a big ass jewel flies out. "Boy, I sure am hungry. Maybe I'll go to McDonalds and order off of the Rupee Menu." *chops down a bush and grabs a green rupee* Apparently, the only fire that ever does anything is Blue Fire. Want to melt an ice block? Use Blue Fire! Stop an enemy? Blue Fire. End world hunger? Blue Fire. Normal orange fire doesn't do squat. When was the last time you used Din's Fire in a fight? Exactly. It doesn't melt ice, either. Heaven forbid a normal flame should melt anything. Nope. You gotta use Blue Fire! You gotta either collect it from the big blue flame, or buy it. And you don't wanna know how many child-sized jewels it takes to pay for what's probably just a candle with a blue fuse. Fairies are so forgiving, aren't they? You run up on them while they're chilling by the pond, shove them in a bottle with no airholes, but they'll still forgive you enough to bring you back to life the moment you get killed. And they'll specifically wait for you to die before they open the bottle and fly out. And heaven forbid Navi should do a damn thing besides say "Hey!" and "Listen!" I'm walking, and suddenly she decides to fly off in some random direction and turn green while flying next to a fixture on the wall. You mind telling me what's up? Should I pull out the ocarina? Hookshot? A glass of milk? What? Tell me!! Much Love

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Wednesday, February 11, 2004

Another Music Endorsement

It's that time again. Yep. Time for me to endorse another singer and/or album. Has another heard of R&B singer Joss Stone? Anyone? Anyone? Well, she's an R&B singer new to the scene. If you have MTV2, you might be able to catch the video for her version of the White Stripes' song "Fell In Love With A Boy." Rather than sit here and type up her life story (I'm currently in my Web Design class, by the way), I'm just gonna paste her bio from her Official Website. "This wasn't supposed to be the world's first taste of Joss Stone. We just got lucky. As Joss was preparing to record what was supposed to be her debut album, she was introduced to some of the legends whose classic records she loved: The "Clean Up Woman," Miss Betty Wright, Timmy "Why Can't We Live Together" Thomas, Willie "Little Beaver" Hale, and Latimore, whose single "Let's Straighten It Out" still ranks as a peak of sultry '70's soul. Release dates to be damned, Joss put her own songs on hold in favor of spending some time in the studio with those architects of the Miami Soul sound. From there she ended up in Philadelphia with the masterminds of contemporary soul and R&B, The Roots. What started out as a side project grew into an obsession for everyone involved. Completed in only four days, The Soul Sessions is a collection of classics and little-known soul gems alongside some contemporary tracks re-interpreted by Joss and her titanic band of accomplices. We're unveiling her spine-bending take on "Chokin' Kind" to introduce you to her extraordinary voice, but to see just how far she can push a song, hold your breath until you hear her cover of 'The White Stripes' "Fell In Love With A Boy." The Soul Sessions will be released on September 16, 2003. While you're soul-deep in that disc, Joss will be back at work writing and recording her "other" first album. Later than we expected, but well worth the delay, that "official" debut CD is due in your stereo by early 2004." Much Love

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Monday, February 9, 2004

   Pedro: "NOOOO!!"

Don't get the subject title? Watch Excel Saga. I'm upset because I love Usher's new song "Yeah" with Lil Jon and Ludacris. It's the only song with Lil Jon that I can even tolerate. The radio plays it plenty, but I'm getting tired of waiting for it to come on. So naturally, I went on Kazaa and tried to download it. 4 attempts, and I got those files that go all static-ie after about 10 seconds. So I think this is a sign that I should get the song legally. I planned to download the new Napster, go get one of those 15-song cards from Target, and download it (among 14 other songs). Want to know what happened? I use Windows 98, and the new Napster is only compatible with Windows 2000 or XP. So I decide to go to the store and just buy the damn single. Target? They don't have singles. Rasputins Music? No singles. Borders? Didn't have that specific single. Compact Disc Warehouse? They finally told me the single wasn't even out yet! O_O The song has been playing on the radio for weeks, and the single hasn't even been released in stores. That's a good couple of hours out of my day wasted. Come payday (Friday), I'm buying me a new computer. I'm getting a little tired of not having enough RAM to use my new printer. 32MB is all I got. I might order from Dell. I might shop a few electronics stores. It really depends on where I can get the better deal. See, here's my plan: I get a computer this payday. Then after my next payday, I get DSL. Yes, DSL. My first couple of months on DSL should be on some kind of discount price, so that should give me time to rebuild my funds. Hopefully, by the end of March, I should be up to snuff, so to speak. My boss and supervisors don't complain as much, since they laid off half of my co-workers and started joining me in field work. It's tough getting people in the mall to take surveys. They used to complain and tell us we should ask more people. They started doing it, and realized it's not our fault. Nobody wants to take a survey. Why do I always bring in the drug addicts? Today, I brought in 2 pairs of people. Each pair seemed to be on something. The first pair were two guys who weren't even paying attention to the movies and kept asking about the $5 they were supposed to get from the surveys. The second pair were two girls who kept changing the subject whenever I asked them a question. Crack kills, everybody. Crack kills. Speaking of my job, I'm currently in the middle of writing a short story called "You Got Surveyed." Yes, I'm serious. You just wait and see. Much Love

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Tuesday, February 3, 2004

Justin: The Rehearsals

"Bet I'll have you naked by the end of this song... hold on... how do you unfasten this, again?" "You know what would be cool? If you wore this nipple ring when I accidentally took your top off!" "Should we face Janet's breastesses directly toward the camera, or slightly to the side so it looks more spontaneous?" "Are we leaving in the part of the performance where I accidentally pin her down and do her?" "Lighting malfunction? You think they'll believe it was only the lighting?" "Nipple malfunction? Too raunchy." "Dress malfunction? Doesn't sound technical enough." "Wardrope malfunction! That's what we should call it!" Much Janet Jackson's Breast Love

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Friday, January 30, 2004

STOP! Manic Time

It was a good day, today! I didn't have any work or school for the first time in about two weeks. So I got to sleep in past 11:00am. I did go to work to pick up my paycheck. I made $100 more than I made last week! I soon found myself drifting into a hazy state of ecstacy. And that's without the aid of drugs. I got out of jury duty. I think the joy of getting out of jury duty goes without saying. With that said, check out this link (link removed b/c of changed URL). Hey, can you really blame her? College is getting harder and harder to pay for, these days. Much Love

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Monday, January 26, 2004

Aye, Me Wallet!

So much to pay for. So little money. After getting my job in late December, my first paycheck went straight into paying my tuition. Thank God I'm only paying for Community College. I got my second paycheck a couple weeks ago. That one went straight into my textbooks, spring semester parking permit, and a USB Flash Drive I need for my Web Design class. Speaking of USB Flash Drives, I had no idea they existed until my teacher told us all to get one last week. These little doo-dads are freaking genius. Just plug it into a USB port, and I get to save a few megs of info on a whole new drive that's no bigger than a cigarette lighter and swings from my neck by a rope. Bck on the subject of paychecks, has anyone seen Ben Affleck's new movie Paycheck? I thought not. No one has. Rumor is, it bites big wind. I knew it would back when I was doing surveys on the movie trailer. Speaking of movie trailer surveys, my job had me doing surveys on the upcoming Van Helsing movie. The special effects look a little if-y, but it couldn't possibly be any worse than the SFX in Blade 2 or Matrix Reloaded. So I'm going to see it when it comes out early this May. Much Love

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Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Perhaps TOO Hostile

I'd like to apologize for my outburst. I was upset. Obviously. With that aside, who's up for going to school? I thought not. Well, I'm heading off to my first day. This will officially begin my sophomore year. College sophomore year. There's no way I'm going back to high school. For a while there, I was thinking about getting one of the cheapest kinds of Dells. You know, one CD-ROM, Intel Celeron processor, ect. But then I remembered I have anime DVDs, and music video technology is much easier these days, than it's ever been. So I'm saving up a few more paychecks and getting me a PC with a DVD-ROM. According to Dell's website, what I want will cost nearly $700 with their current special offers and shipping & tax included. Jeeze. Just a few more months until I can afford that. This is just a reminder. If your baby cannot fit inside of a stroller, let your baby walk. I'm getting tired of seeing 3 year olds dangling off of strollers. Anyone else catch American Idol? I love watching horrible singers get humiliated on national TV. I only watch about 3 episodes of American Idol, though. The open auditions, one episode somewhere in the middle (to see who's actually on the show), and the announcing of the winner. Next year, I'm going to audition just for the hell of it. I know I can't sing, but I want to see if I can get on TV. Yes, I am an attention whore. Much Love

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