Sunday, August 29, 2004

Cartoon Chronicles: Teen Sleuth Toons #8

Well, I started school this past week. Due to me not paying attention when I signed up for my classes back in June, I have a class Tuesdays at 7:20PM, rather than 7:20AM as I thought. So after my first class ends at noon, I have half a day to wait before my next class starts. As if I weren't having a hard enough time filling my day already. I'm well aware that nearly all of my friends (you know who you are) are into online games, but it's just not happening with me. I could buy more RAM for my PC, switch from dial-up to a high-speed internet connection, fork over roughly $100-something to buy both FFXI and City of Heroes, AND pay the monthly fees for each game... but I quit my job weeks ago! Besides, I'm a cheap bastard. Maybe I'll join the club when I get another jobby-job. For those of you who wonder what I look like, check out this cartoony self-portrait. It's not entirely accurate, though. I'm actually much darker. Although, my head really is that disproportionably big. Speed Buggy Just when you thought drum-playing sharks were far-fetched... Speed Buggy was a small, red buggy. Yep, a car. And it talked. It had a minor speech impediment, but it talked. Driven by a racer car driver named Mark, Speed used to compete in races with actual freaking cars-- and win! For those of you having a hard time imagining this, let me give you a "gamer" example... Imagine playing Gran Turismo in your Lancer Evo. You're kicking up dust, you own the road. Then suddenly Mario and Luigi enter the race, driving something straight out of Mario Kart: Double Dash-- and they completely own you. In fact, they not only own you, they "0wz j00, sux0r!" That's how badass Speed was. Aside from Mark, other characters included Tinker, the mechanic; and Debbie... who, as far as I know, was there to give Mark a little shum'in-shum'in. Occasionally, the three were just driving down the road, when they'd witness a crime. Being the meddling kids they are, they took it upon themselves to solve all of these crimes-- along with some help from Speed. Although Speed was the central character, Mark, Deb, and Tinker did all the work and just told Speed what to do. The car could talk and move on its own, but it's not like it had a mind of its own. Having been created 4 years after Scooby Doo premiered, the characters on this show tended to look exactly like Scooby'd gang. Tinker looked like an even skinnier Shaggy (the mind boggles), Debbie was Daphne with brown hair, and Mark was Fred if Fred where... not white? One thing I've never been able to find out, is what Mark's ethnicity is. He didn't have a last name. He had pretty dark skin, and black hair. But what was he? Was he black? Mexican? Dominican? Asian? Persian? It doesn't help that his skintone changed drastically from episode to episode. Then again, maybe the point was that we don't know. He was a minority, but he didn't fit any bland stereotypes. Were the children of America being taught a lesson in racial unity from 1973 to 83? Oh yeah, and this show was on the air from 73 to 83. I kid you not. It last 10 freaking years on TV, yet the most you've probably seen of this car lately is a cameo on Harvey Birdman. Funny episode, though. And that does it for the "Teen Sleuth Toons" segment of the Cartoon Chronicles. But don't get your hopes up. I'm not done with cartoons yet! Coming soon: Super Madness! Be afraid. Very, even. Much Love

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