Thursday, October 28, 2004

Cartoon Chronicles: Super Madness #9

Funny story. The other night, I was putting a chemical relaxer in my hair. For those of you who don't know, I'm African-American, and my hair is naturally very coarse and thick. Anyway, the chemical relaxer was supposed to loosen up my hair just slightly, uncurling it enough for my almost carpet-like crop of hair to look larger/longer-- thus, I'd have an afro. Well, I left the relaxer in my hair too long before washing it out. If you've ever seen that episode of Boy Meets World where Cory (who has very curly hair) left a relaxer in his hair for over 30 minutes... that's essentially what happened to me. It's not shaped like a baseball cap or stuck in an obscure shape, but my hair is quite straight now. I got out of the shower this morning, and I had bangs lying on my forehead. Very strange. Visit my website! It has parodies! D.MOON Feel this shameless plug. Do you love the 80's as much as VH1? If so, here comes today's Cartoon Chronicle... Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles If you were born in the mid-1990s, you might get a tad confused. Kids flush their aquatic pets down the toilet all the time, but no one ever think they'll get flushed into toxic waste, live with a talking rat, and mutate into ninjas. Such is the case with Leonardo, Donatello, Michaelangelo, and Raphael. Trained in the art of stealth, these turtles act in the way of the ninja, and eat in the way of the teenager with no strict diet. They ate pizza. Nothing but pizza. Mike ordered it, they met the delivery guy in the shadows, paid him with money they earned from GodKnowsWhere, and proceeded to cover their sewer home with processed cheese. Oh yeah, and they lived in the F-ing sewers. So it's bad enough their turtles, mutated, raised by a talking ninja-rat, and are named after outcasted artists from the renaissance; they live in the sewer. Had they been someone's pet gators, the urban legends would've been true. And then comes the villains. First was Shredder, a ninja who operated publicly from the shadows. The guy sent robotic ninjas, mutated pigs, and all kinds of not-really-Japanese hoodoo through the city of New York, and nobody ever caught him. On top of that, his main accomplice was Kragg, a brain with its own eyes, mouth (and I would assume vocal chords and a tongue were hidden in there, somewhere), who built his own robotic body to control. Rather than place himself within the head of the robotic body, like most super-villains reduced to brains, he preferred to dwell in the body's stomach area. Needless to say, when your archnemesis can't tell his head from his own gut, his weekly evil antics aren't too difficult to stop. Would I recommend it? Yeah, sure. Although, I must warn you, it's extremely campy when compared to today's re-vamp. Next Time: X-Men. Watch the X-Men fight their own race war, before the November election sparks its own. Much Love

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