Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Cartoon Chronicles: Educatoon #1

It's taking way too long for me to write the second episode of Justice League Unscrewed. I'm like a writer on Saturday Night Live. I can try to be funny all the time, but you're really only gonna get one decent set of jokes out of me 1/10th of the time. Well, the Cartoon Chronicles are now officially back! Behold, the Educatoons: Educational, yet entertaining cartoons. I know what you're thinking, and yes-- they do make entertaining educational television. And I'm talking about the academics! None of that "learning to share and play together" crap, either. I'm talking about those cartoons you used to watch that actually helped get you through elementary/middle/jr. high school. Once again, I'll be going in alphabetical order. Begin! Blue's Clues If you spent your work days standing in front of a green screen and pretending to talk to a dog that wasn't there... you'd probably become an obscure folk singer, too. Meet Steve, a real life man living in an animated world. Steve lives in a small house with his little blue dog, aptly named Blue. Normally, Steve spends his day jumping into paintings on his wall, singing with his talking mailbox, and getting the latest gossip from a couple of talking salt and pepper shakers. Ironically, the dog (the only character who shouldn't be inanimate) was the only one who couldn't talk. So whenever Blue wants to do one of her favorite activities, she wastes a half hour out of Steve's day by leaving clues all over the house that hint toward Blue's true intentions. She left these clues by stepping on everyday objects, and leaving smudgy blue pawprints on them. For example, if Blue wants to discuss current politics (which has yet to happen, mind you), she'll leave paw prints all over the anchors on CNN. Despite some people thinking this show is boring and a little stupid (I'm not contesting the boring part, either), it actually taught kids important lessons in puzzle solving and critical thinking. If the only clues are a wedding ring and a Jennifer Lopez CD, the kids at home will put their minds to work and try to figure out which of J.Lo's fiances/husbands Blue is talking about. Would I recommend it? It's good for getting kids to think, but it's definitely not for teens and adults to watch themselves. The songs take way too long to sing, and anyone over the age of 10 will solve the problem less than half-way through the show. "My, whatever could Blue want to drink that involves a lemon?" Next Time: Captain Planet. A team of young environmentalists ban together to fight the most one-dimensional villains ever created. Much Love

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