Saturday, December 4, 2004

"Blaxploitation Night" Preview / Cartoon Chronicles: Educatoon #5

You know, maybe I should update my website one of these days. I've been writing JLU's second episode for about a month now. It shouldn't even take this long, but I got a case of the lazies. I might as well get around to finishing it before Christmas. In the mean time, here's a few samples of what I've written so far of Justice League Unscrewed episode 2: "Blaxploitation Night" (parody of "In Blackest Night.") Foxy Ladies: We love you, Johnny! John Stewart: I love you too, ladies. Fine Bitches: Hey, John. John: Afternoon, bitches. Spanish Mamacita: Ay Papi! John: Hola, mamacita. Fly Honey: John Stewart, can you teach me how to love? Soul Sista: I'm talking 'bout my soul food kitchen. I got a special today on fried chicken, barbeque ribs, watermelon, and grape soda. Green Lantern: What do you jive turkeys want? Tha Man's Hunter: We were sent here by Tha Man to arrest John Stewart for 3 billion counts of murder. Flash: You've got to be kidding. (puts his hand on Green Lantern's shoulder) Ol' Johnny, here? Green Lantern: Get your hand off my shoulder, honky. Today's Cartoon Chronicle... Magic School Bus According to my research... Welcome to Ms. Frizzle's science class, the class that takes more unscheduled field trips than permitted by state law. What very few people realize is that Ms. Frizzle owns a magical school bus capable of transforming into anything she wants. In fact, it's all part of her teaching method. Unlike normal teachers, when Ms. Frizzle wants to teach you about the human digestive system, she doesn't just pull out a text book and a plastic model. She piles up the class in the bus, shrinks you down to microscopic size, and gives you a guided tour through some guy's belly. Someone in school stayed home sick? She's taking the class to his house, shrinking you down, and showing you the germs responsible up-close. Want to know where chocolate comes from? The bus turns into a plane, flies you to South America, and shows you the cocoa beans in their natural habitat. She also had a teacher's assistant: a lizard named (all together) Liz. She was also the class pet. Like all cartoon animals in her situation, Liz didn't talk, but acted just as human as anyone else on the show. The students themselves were a card, as well. You had the book-carrying girl who always liked to do something like research rain while she was turned into a rain drop. There was the new girl who would say something like "we never traveled through deep space at my old school." There was the Asian girl, black guy, and Latino who were good at being Asian, black, and Latino. Of course, there was the kid who never wanted to get in the bus, in fear of falling out the window during their field trip and getting digested. Would I recommend it? Yes. It didn't try to fool you into thinking it was non-educational. It knew what it was, it taught you something scientific, and it was actually pretty funny for what it was. They also corrected any scientific inaccuracies at the end of the show, telling you what was added for the sake of entertainment. Next Time: School House Rock. You know you love it. Much Love

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