Tuesday, December 30, 2003

And Now For Something Completely Different

I found $20 on the ground in the mall!! There I was, wandering the barren halls of my local mall in the morning, when I slipped on something. At first, I thought it was a leaf from one of those in-door trees they got planted in the middle of the hall. I looked down, and there was some sort of dollar-looking thing. It was neatly folded, and I barely made out a "0". I bent down, picked it up, and there was a shiny new 20 dollar bill. Now, the mall is pretty empty before noon. This was around 11am. I looked around, and the only people who were close enough to have dropped it were these two girls in their early teens. I asked them if they dropped any money. Nope. "Lunch is on some unsuspecting schmuck who doesn't know how to keep track of his money!" Guess who was the only Recruiter (the technical name of my job, by the way) to show up to work. I had to do all of the survey prostitution by myself. On a plus side, I managed to rake in a good 7 or 8 people. Of course, we were so shorthanded, I managed to flood the in-office interviewers by bringing in a whomping 2 people at the same time. I ran into Kevin and Crystal. I apologized to them for interviewing them for a survey that wasn't offering any money last week. I got the surveys mixed up. They forgave me. And now a little advice... The Next Time Someone In The Mall Asks You To Take a Survey... -There's a 80% chance they'll give you money or a free sample of something afterward. -Don't lie to us. If you don't want to take the survey, just say so. --Don't walk slowly, stop, wander aimlessly, and then tell us you're too busy. --We usually know if you've taken a survey before. Don't tell us you've already taken it, when you haven't. -Your kids are not an excuse not to take a survey. We have surveys for kids, and most kids think the $6 we give them is a lot of money. -The next old lady to put her hand in my face in a "talk to the hand" manner is going to get slapped with my clipboard. Just a warning. I was taking surveys for diaper-buying, and giving away free diapers. My target: parents with babies. Logically, I scoped out parents with kids in strollers. You know what I noticed? Parents need to take their 3+ year old, potty-trained kids out of strollers and make them walk! If your child is old enough to make intelligent conversation with you, it's time for them to walk. I was so mad at half of the parents in the mall. I saw a girl so big, she was hanging half-way out of the stroller. What the hell is that? Christmas is over. They can stop playing "This Christmas," "Santa Baby," "The Christmas Song," and the other 1,000 songs that are totally out of season. Stupid mall shopping soundtrack. Today was my off-day, by the way. They made me work on an off-day. Payday is Friday. According to my calculations, I should be pulling in roughly $400 dollars. No, I'm not getting paid a lot. Payday is every two weeks, I've been working overtime, I didn't get paid during the last payday because I had just started working there. It all adds up to over $400. One more payday, and dude... I'm getting a Dell. Seriously. My current computer uses a Celeron instead of a Pentium. I only have 32MB of RAM (which isn't enough to play any PC game made in the past 5 years). I'm down to my last 600MB out of 4GB. Just the other day, my PC froze immediately after being turned on. Yep. time for a change. Much Love

Comments (0)