Thursday, February 3, 2005

Thea-thea-thea-That's [edited for content], Folks!

What are those bastards doing to the precious the Looney Tunes? I tune into a few classic Merry Melodies on the Boomerang channel the other day, and you know what I find? Edits. The Looney Tunes, which remained untouched for decades, are being edited for content. I know! I'm surprised, too. How many of you are familiar with the Scarlet Pumpernickel? It was a cartoon where Daffy Duck goes to a movie studio and pitches the idea of a Zorro-like movie about a nobleman who's secretly the rogue bandit known as the Scarlet Pumpernickel. Anyway, as Daffy reads through the script, he gets so caught up in all of the drama that he gets carried away and shoots himself in the head. After he collapses, the studio exec says it's a brilliant script. Daffy then gets up and says something like "it's getting to where you gotta kill yourself to sell a movie in this town." So I watch the cartoon on Boomerang, and you know what happened? We see Daffy get caught up and act like he's about to do something... then we see him get up and say the quote from a paragraph ago, smoke rising from his head for no reason that can be seen. They cut out the gunshot. Why does this bother me? Well, besides his jealousy of Bugs and ability to hop around on his head, Daffy's trademark is getting shot in the head. Everytime he meets Elmer, he gets shot in the head. LT fans are all too familiar with Daffy's bill ending up on some misplaced part of his face-- the back of his head, even. If we're going to take away all instances of Daffy getting shot in the head, then what's the point in the "rabbit season, duck season" jokes? Him getting shot was the punchline. I also noticed a cartoon of Porky and Sylvester staying in a haunted house was mysteriously shorter than usual. Then I realized that several scenes were cut from the cartoon; probably because they skipped the "ghosts' " (actually mice posing as ghosts) many failed attempts to kill them. It was like watching Sylvester freak out for no reason. And if there's anything worse than violence in cartoons (assuming a few Looney bouts are harmful at all), it's seeing a cartoon cat behave like a cocaine addict. Then there's Boomerang's reluctance to air any Speedy Gonzales cartoons. See, despite Speedy being among the most popular Looney Tunes in Latin America, Boomerang in the US is afraid airing his cartoons will offend people. See, because a quick-witted, fast-running Mexican mouse who speaks Spanish while in Mexico is something today's children should never be exposed to. By the way, Pepe LePew's portayal of a filthy, foul-smelling Frenchman remains untouched. So don't worry. Much Love

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