Wednesday, November 3, 2004

Four more years...
F*@K!
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Monday, November 1, 2004

An open apology...
Again, I can only apologise for my previous outburst. It's been a hectic week, not knowing whether or not I will keep my job due to company funding being in doubt. Still, you have to laugh...

I got praised today, didn't like it. Apparently, I was the only one who did any work whilst the boss was away, therefore I am the golden boy. Again, not what I want to be. I want to be 'gets on with it and is ignored boy'.

Rhubarbs, plenty of them and don't spare the curry sauce.
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Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Custard Creams Are Our Friends...
Ever wonder when it was that life flew past you and waved from the cockpit of a Spitfire? I have been thinking that a lot more lately. Maybe this is as good as it gets for me. All those dreams of being a matress tester have come to nothing. Ah well, only another 4 years of life left.

Quote of the day: Richie and Eddie, Bottom.
(Talking about what may happen whilst being burgled)
Richie: "Eddie, do you want to be skinned alive and buggered!!?!?!"
Eddie: (Pointing a gun)"I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY!!!"
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Saturday, October 23, 2004

Hmm...
I can only apologise profusely for my previous post, it was an unexpected outburst after a long and quite frankly depressing day. They seem to come along more and more these days. Anyway, back to happy go lucky Iain and his cor bleedin' blimey guv'nor routines.

Ok, maybe not happy go lucky Iain. How's about more 'let's see how we go Iain with maybe a little bit of angst mixed in?' That sounds much more fun. Smoke 'em if you've got 'em.

Quote of the day: David Baddiel Live.
"Dear BBC, why oh why oh why is the structure of my chromosones."
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Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Dance for me you little Whipsnade wannabe...
Run to the hills, bolt your doors, chain the radiator to the fence and make strange clucking noises! Don't ask me why, it's not like it's the end of the world, just the end of the toilet roll.

I'm in a bit of a funny mood today so you'll forgive me for that slightly world-weary outburst. Sometimes you just wonder if it's really all worth it...

Quote of the day: I wish I could think of one...
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Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Damned Routine...
Routine day today. I hate routine days. Never inspiring, always demoralising. Roll on Friday evening. I can't believe I've already mastered my new job, it means I get bored easily then.

Quote of the day: Norman Wisdom.
"Don't laugh at me 'cos I'm a fool..."
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Monday, October 11, 2004

I must be paranoid...
I can't understand it. I must be hearing things at work as I'm sure my job was being advertised at the job centre. Next thing I know, I'm being told I'm doing a great job and my probation is going so well I should become a full-time worker next week. I just can't understand it. Maybe I'm losing my mind. Maybe it's been left in the tumbledryer...

Quote of the day: Rik Mayall, Blackadder Goes Forth.
"Enter the man who wears no underwear. Ask me why."

All: Why do you wear no underwear Lord Flash?"

"Because the pants haven't been built that can take the job on! WOOF!"
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Wednesday, October 6, 2004

I'm suffering from bus-lag...
I'm sick of having to walk into town, bus out of town, walk into work, walk out of work, bus back into town, walk out of town! I WANT TO LIVE! I'm seriously thinking of becoming an alcoholic. Drinking every night on the town, 4 hours sleep then work then more drinking. It may help me get through the day. HELP ME!!!

Quote of the day: The Big Bopper.
"There ain't nothing in this world like a big eyed girl to make me act so funny, make me spend my money, make me feel real loose like a long-necked goose... oh baby that's a what I like!"
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Monday, October 4, 2004

I have a new job!
Finally! Only took me a year to get it, now I have to do a 2 week trial and then I get some filthy, filthy lucre!

Quote of the day: Rowan Atkinson, Blackadder's Christmas Carol.
"Besides, size doesn't matter. It's not what you've got, it's where you stick it!"
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Saturday, October 2, 2004

I almost died tonight...
Thank Christ for taxis and the police! If I had set foot outside my friends house in the Leyfields tonight, a drug dealer called Matt would have slit my throat!

The ultimate twist was that I knew one of the rozzers of course from my college days, bit of luck!

I think I'm close to having a cardiac arrest so I'm going to sleep and putting this bad experience behind me! YAY LIFE!

Quote of the day: My angel of death, tonight.
"Send him out here and I'll f*cking kill him!!!"
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