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myOtaku.com
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AIM
• gigabytebcs40
E-mail
• Click Here
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• matt3402
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• Click Here
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• gigabytebcs40
Vitals
Birthday
• 1991-06-19
Gender
•
Male
Location
• Out of my mind.
• Bellevue, Nebraska
• Somewhere you'll never find me.
Member Since
• 2004-07-22
Occupation
• Student (10th)
• Lazy Bum
• Personal Web Designer
• Weirdo
Real Name
• Matt (duh!)
• Whatever I feel like going by at the moment
• There are other aliases, but I shall not name them here.
Personal
Achievements
• I'm learning how to play the piano...
• I figured parts of PHP out for myself.
• I'm one of the weirdest people I know.
Anime Fan Since
• Pretty much, I don't know!
Favorite Anime
• InuYasha, but I barely ever see it anymore...
Goals
• Get Good Grades
• Draw more fanart
• Learn Japanese (Eventually)
• Be able to write C++ programs
• Somehow, learn to draw.
Hobbies
• Computers and internet
• Programming
• Web Design
• I own some of the least visited sites on the internet! Very well designed, but no good content and few returning visitors.
Talents
• Insanity...
• I have a rather thorough knowledge of HTML and such.
• I'm an optimist and a pessimist at the same time.
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Sunday, January 15, 2006
Should I be worried?
Tech Support: What seems to be the problem?
Customer: There's a wolf sitting on my window. Should I be worried?
Tech Support: Maybe. Have you installed any new software recently?
Customer: Yes. I installed OtakuMascot and a different mascot.
Tech Support: Well, was that 'different mascot' a wolf?
Customer: Oh, yes...
Tech Support:*laugh* Well, that explains it. If you want to close it right click the icon in the systray and click "Exit"
Customer: Okay. Thanks. *click*
That's like a computer stupidity, but I made it up. Mainly because there IS a wolf sitting on my window! See:
I think it's supposed to be a he. (Maybe the artist intended it to be a girl...) His name is Ariake. If I click on him, he howls or looks at you like he's lost. He so cute. I don't remember where I snitched him from though... All I remember was that the artist had a few of them that she was giving away. It was a cool site.
I felt really useless last night. I tried to fix a broken PHP script and couldn't. I tried to write a poem/story installment, and got a bad composition. I tried to draw something, anything, and ended up with just warbled lines. I tried playing a song, even just nonsense, and couldn't make it sound right. So I ended up standing in the kitchen with a pencil and a notebook scratching out bad things onto paper. Somehow my secret got mixed into the bad things that I was writing. I read them again today and realized how out of it I was. But how true what I said was. I am useless. I can't even run a successful website, and that's what I consider to be one of my strongpoints. I just want to die. I paid out so much money just to have access to PHP and CGI and I barely even have a website to build scripts around. The site is a total flop. My explanantions and all my goals for the site suck. I'd probably be better off if I dumped it alltogether and said screw it. All I get out of it other than a minimum amount of experience, is -$15 a month. My site isn't helpful. It's a waste of my money, my host's time, and their harddisk space. I should just kill it.
But then I shouldn't. but the site has given me the medium to realize that I suck at everything. I suck and I'm not getting any better; only worse.
I've been separated from what little bit of talent I had. Artistically, literature-ally, and musically. I've lost it all. I just want to throw away my keyboard, my computer, and my pencils and paper. Then there will be no reminders of the fact that I have no talents. The fact that I have nothing. The fact that I am nothing.
Hmm.. That was depressing... Oops. :P
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