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myOtaku.com: MaxSonic


Sunday, January 18, 2004

   My Failure
Okay, for the last few days I have'nt been doing anything serious on MyOtaku. Now that's about to change. This is a short story that really happened to me. Some of you heard in on OtakuBoards, but most of you have'nt.
A while back, in 8th grade, I met a girl named Jessica. I fell in love with her, and we became friends. Then in 9th grade, I told a friend (who was also a close friend of her's) how I felt about her, and he said I should tell her, and that he did'nt like her. Well, I wrote her a letter and got him to deliver it to her. She was neutral about it. However, not long after that, I found out that they were in a relationship. I decided to kill myself, but then my friend talked me out of it. So I decided to remain friends with Jessica for now...
Six months later, they had broken up. I decided to go after her again. But I was so determined, that I did'nt see things clearly. I began to follow her around and right her numerous letters. I started to talke about suicide, and I even got to the point where I'd cut myself with a staple to get her attention. Eventually, she got worried about it and told her mother. Her mother said not to go near me or talk to me. I tried sending Jessica and even her mom some letters, but they just made things worse. That was the end of my life as I knew it.
9 months have passed since she last talked to me. I cry all the time, and I hate myself. I have only one friend now, who is nowhere near as close as Jessica was to me. I'm seeing a psyciatrist, who dose'nt help. I'm on medications which do nothing. I can't stop thinking about Jessica. I just want to be her friend again. So why am I writing this? I know she dose'nt like anime, but mabey one of her friends dose or something. If you are reading this or know her, then I have this to say. I'm sorry. I know what I did was wrong. I treated you like crap, when in fact you ment more to me than anyone else ever has. I put so much pressure on you, and I just wish I could take it back. I'm sorry. I know I don't deserve a friend like you.
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