Dear reader,
Before you start to read this, you must understand that even thought this paragraph focuses mostly on the bad things, sometimes there is good to come from relizeing the faults in the world. I am a young women who is 5'4", has long naturaly curly hair, is cacasion, who's looks are pretty average. I'm nothing special, yet so many hard times have come to pass for me. Losing my grandmother to cancer was the hardest thing for me. now, whenever i go to a feuneral i imagin her face being the one in the coffen. There i am again, staring at her face, holding her cold hand in mine, just wishing the hurt would leave my heart. She was my best friend, and to this day she is still the only one who understands me. If you take only one thing from reading this, Let it be that you must keep the things that are precious to you close to your hearts. If not, they could very well fade away. Being a girl who has been tortured by compleat strangers, I start on topics that are hard for me, and, hopefuly, you might be abel to answer the questions for me.
People are crule. it's a simple fact, but why must they singel out a person? Don't they care? Why am i the only one who saw the changes in myself and I? Why do people put a name before they know me? Why am i the only one who sees? They'ed call me names and tease me, hurt me and even make me cry. Am i only one who waits for the rain, when the air turns cold? Why do i wish for it to hide my tears... all wet and warm. the only warm that has cresed my cheek for the longest time.
Death. how it tears us so. no one see's someone that's gone and wonders: Will that soon be me? What will happen when my heart stops beating? Why do i think such thoughts? Why do the fates hate me so? Why am i so alone?
If dreams were real, none of mine have come to pass. yes minor ones that i am thankful for, truly, but what of my wish for love? One that will hold me when i cry, and just... BE there. be there to hold me and love me. no matter how crazy i get. maybe, that's just impossible to wish for, but you can't help me wishing it. no one wishes to die alone. But i still shed tears for the one's that do. If not me, then who? rain will always fall, and with it, my tears for those that have fallen.
Tears. When it rains and angels tears fall, why are they cold? I have always and will forever more refure to the rain as angels tears. Are they not the tears that we as humans shed also? Were they not once humans?
And what of Humanity. Us, simpel homosapians? are we truly alone on this world? Or are there Demons and Angels? "For every action there is an equil and oppisite reaction" The words of world famious Isac Newton's Third law. So what are Humans equils and oppisites? Can you blame my thinking when i say that there must, somewhere in theis hectic world, there is something more?
War and famons, Fear and terror, all threought the world there is always something that must take apart a family. Killing innoscent children and mothers. It is all pointless in my eyes. Imagen what it must be like though. One day you and your mother and grandmother or father and grandfather are sitting and enjoying each others company, the next you hear word that they have died. or, worse yet, you watch them die! how do people live and watch these events and not feal simpithy, yet still have the will to fight? I just can not comprehend it.
Though I myself should not be one to talk. I plan to join the army myself. Not in ground forces, ovesily or i would not be wrighting this, but the army nonetheless. I'm planing to become a piolet. Yet, even that seems unfair to me. Why? I ask myself that often. It's strange. I can not see myself doing any other job. My eyes are full of dry tears as i wright this, fearing that no one will ever read it. If i touch even one heart though, it will be well worth my time wasted. No, not wasted. I just wish that in this life, more people could think, not of themselves, but of the ones that are dealing with the real demons. The Demons of life. Life, death, truth, lies, love, hate, fear, joy, pain, and healing. I may not save a life, but God help me if I save a heart.
You may not agree with all this, Hell you might even hate my words, but you must understand my thinking. I am but a girl who has given up all but a sliver of hope. None could change my feelings. These will forever be my opinions on things. Before you decide what you feel about this though, please i beg of you, reread it and truly think over everything you have just taken in. It would give me a great ease to know at least i may have changed a few hearts. You may not beleave this, but i still wright her, my grandmother. in some ways it helps. In others it is a crule reminder that she is gone and never comeing back. but that is what the world really is. a crule reminder. you just have to fill in the blanks and hope that along the way, you get something right.
Signed,
Madison K.
I was depresed when i wrot this but i think i make some good points! PM me if u have anything to add.
Are you a good or bad angel?Boys and Girls!
Dear reader,
