myOtaku.com: Meggido

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1986-04-21
Gender
• Male
Location
• Melbourne, Aus. Though I'd prefer to be somewhere else.
Member Since
• 2004-10-16
Occupation
• Student for a little longer. Volunteer. need a paying job
Real Name
• David

Personal

Achievements
• Um.. a few academic awards, basketball premierships, a hockey premiership and a few dozen other things.
Anime Fan Since
• 1999, late starter
Favorite Anime
• Trigun (all time favourite), .Hack//Sign, .Hack//Legend of the Twilight, Bubblegum Crisis Tokyo 2040, Bleach, Elfen Lied, Code Geass, Fate/Stay Night, darker than Black, FLCL, The list continues...
Goals
• To write a novel, to get into honours.
Hobbies
• Acting, Writing, playing Hockey, watching TV, Playing Videogames,eating, sleeping.
Talents
• I'm a decent Hockey player, I can act and if I feel like it can spin a few words together.

myOtaku.com: Meggido

Monday, August 20, 2007

Ok well not the poem that I promised but that's still coming. Anyway just bare with this, I don't know if it's gonna make sense but it's gonna be a bit of a ramble.

So for 13 years of schooling I was a social outcast. I didn't and I don't think I ever could make friends, instead I'd prefer to lose myself in books, videogames, manga, etc. In some ways it could be said that due to my being a social outcast I was trying to draw myself further away from society. Anyway during the last 2 and a half years of uni (so we're now up to 15.5 years of education) I thought I was breaking away from this a possibly building up social skills. Well recently I just don't know.

Firstly don't take the way I write as being how I am in person. I'm pretty much 2 different people. The online person who seems to be socially adept, talks, gives advice, can make witty remarks, and then there is the "real" me, socially inept, introvert, unable to express myself. So that's the two me's in a nutshell for 13 years of education and to a lesser extent the last 2.5 years.

Secondly I've been sick recently, and possibly this me being sick is not just a sickness of the body but also of the mind. I don't exactly classify myself as being healthy, though I'm not always sick (I may feel it though).

So anyway recently I've been feeling like pulling myself back into my status of being a social outcast. Distancing myself from people in general and maybe limiting my human contact as much as possible. Maybe it's just a phase, or maybe I just feel safer confiding in myself only. However last time I decided to try and keep things locked in I ended up losing it and putting a chair through the wall during one of my year 12 classes. Probably end up hiding in my books and videogames again. It's not like they can hurt me.

I know I'm most likely just trying to run away, but that's how I've spent most of my life... running away from my problems. Maybe it's just that I don't feel like I fit in anywhere. Whether it's with the friends I've now made, or with the people who I have class with.

I know I probably need help. Funny thing is that those who are probably able to help me, my real life friends (yes all the people who visit me here are my friends too), are probably never gonna read this unless I link it to them. Maybe I should be posting this on my LJ instead of here but chances of them catching sight of the update would probably be slim.

So poem is a few days away at best.

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