Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Sigh....
Ah, well. Life is hard and then we die ^/.\^'

This day couldn't get any normalerer. If you didn't know, I'm planning to become a novelist when I grow up so in my *Fanfiction notebook* (in which I put all my Fanfiction summaries before they go on the computer) I have the novel's summary...I stopped somewhere around chapter 15 because of the HORRIBLE! writer's block.

And now its contagious and I have writer's block in all that I write...meh.

Since tokyopop is doing me no good, I just might post my ItaSaku story here. Forbidden Love - ItaSaku -. Sorry if you don't like the pairing but I was inspired by my friend XxItachixAileenaxX.

I have writer's block on that, too, so don't expect that here anytime soon.

Anyway, here's the next chapter of Separation.

Separation - ItaSasu - Chapter Four - Confession -

The tears dissolve the last block of ice in my throat. I feel the frozen stillness melt down through the inside me, dripping shards of ice that vanish in a puddle of sunlight on the stained floor. Words float up.

Me: “Let me tell you about it.”

~Speak
By Laurie Halse Anderson


“You asked me a hard question, now it’s my turn,” Sasuke said timidly. Itachi now looked intent on the question, though sparks of nervousness were spread across his common expressionless face. “I said that you really…” Sasuke hesitated again, hating to say the word love again. “…cared for me. Now I ask if that is true.”

It was Itachi’s turn to act ultra nervous. It seemed like a first for his older brother (Chalk another one up for Uchiha Itachi’s now three weaknesses). “Please answer me. I answered you, so it’s only far.”

No, it isn’t. It wasn’t fair for me to ask you in the first place, anyway,

Itachi’s rebellious thoughts.

It’s not fair. Your inquiry is much harder than mine.

Really, just answer! I brought up the guts, can’t you?

Sasuke’s rebellious thoughts.

It really isn’t fair! All you have to say is yes, or no! It’s LOVE I thought you understood everything!

Both of them are in complete thought.

“Sasuke,” Itachi spoke up. Sasuke attentively listened. “I…” Itachi put on some sort of a pained smile, but continued. “I do, why wouldn’t I?” He sounded totally different than himself, like he was forcing the words out, but Sasuke expected that he sounded like that to Itachi when he confessed.

Nevertheless, he believed him all the same. “Arigitou, Nii-san,” Sasuke said, a small grin flickering across his young face. “Maybe Kaa-san would let me stay. I really don’t want to go, even if it means staying here with Tou-san.”

“Y-Yeah,” Itachi, again appearing tentative. There was yet another awkward silence, where, coincidentally, both Uchiha brothers said out loud, “We’ve really got to stop talking like this.”

The two of them (yes, Itachi) broke into laughter.

The door opened and the two brother’s joyfulness immediately dissolved as Mikoto and Fugaku entered the house, staring skeptically at their sons. Itachi especially now looked totally ashamed of himself for even letting out a bit of emotion. It was too late though. He already had convinced himself that he wasn’t going to let Sasuke go. Not after this.

There was yet another silence, except between the distant four of the Uchiha family. Itachi was staring at the ground, Sasuke’s eyes fixed on his mother, Mikoto still staring at Itachi with shock, Fugaku glaring at Sasuke as if he was the one who forced his usually impassive son to laugh for the very first time in his life.

“We were-” Itachi started before Sasuke broke in, his voice sounding hurt.

“You both need to give him a life!” The younger Uchiha scolded. Itachi stared incredulously at his younger brother clearly shocked at his sudden outburst. “He’s doing the best he can; won’t you give him a break? Do you expect him to be living like he’s an emotionless doll for the rest of his life?”

It was only then when Itachi understood what Sasuke was trying to do. The raven-haired seven-year-old was standing up for his rights to have emotion? That thought echoed in his head. It sounded entirely wrong, that someone, or more specifically, Sasuke, had to stand up for his rights? Uchiha Itachi’s rights? Itachi knew that he was old enough to handle and stand up for himself, but he seemed perfectly fine – he wasn’t that blank, was he?

Mikoto’s eyes snapped back to her younger son, her shock changing from Itachi to Sasuke. Itachi glanced at the raven haired boy and he saw that Sasuke was on the verge of tears. Just seeing that Sasuke was in pain was bringing something new to his heart. He now forgot everything about his future plans about killing the clan to get power – he forgot that it was really he who killed Uchiha Shisui to obtain the Mangekyo. Something new was welling up in him, and it was fully determined to get out. Itachi was willing to help it.

“Sasuke, I’m okay. Don’t worry about me. Don’t cry,” Itachi lightly whispered into Sasuke’s ear so that neither Mikoto nor Fugaku could hear him. Fugaku’s gaze now went to the older son, the expression of disbelief pasted tightly with super glue on him.

Sasuke seemed soothed by his older brother’s words and the brimming tears disappeared. Itachi smiled gently, but the grin disappeared when his gaze turned to his two gawking parents. “What is it that you want, now?” Itachi growled, all kindness from his voice vanishing.

Fugaku grunted something in reply, and walked away. Mikoto stared at the two brothers with last incredulity, and strode off, not even glancing back at them. Sasuke stood on his toes to whisper something in Itachi’s ear: “I don’t think that they care about us anymore…”

Itachi believed that, but he said something else, just to make sure Sasuke doesn’t completely lose hope in his recently oddly acting parents. “No, they’re just worried. If you want, you can go outside. The snow slightly subsided so-”

Sasuke vigorously shook his head. “Let’s just talk a little more. As I…well, we both said, we’ve got to stop talking like that.” That brought a smile back to his older brother’s face.

~~~~

After he talked with his older brother a little more, Sasuke felt that the bond connecting them grew incredibly stronger, much stronger than before. He was grinning and humming to himself, happy for the first time in that month. Sasuke wished that it would stay like that forever – just him and Itachi, nothing in the world disrupting the peacefulness that they shared. The young Uchiha walked into his room, his joyful thoughts disturbed by the sight of his mother, Mikoto, packing some of his things.

“Kaa-san, are you packing?” Sasuke muttered ever so quietly. Mikoto glanced up at him, not saying a word, but she nodded all the same. Her attention swiveled back to the packing. The happy feeling that was lifting his once heavy heart disappeared, replaced by the memory that it was impossible. He was moving. There was nothing he could do about it. “Do I have to go?” Sasuke cried aloud, again tasting the painful salty tears that were erupting from his eyes.

Mikoto again didn’t say a word. She somberly nodded, this time not even glancing at her young son. Sasuke felt irritated at her – he couldn’t believe that it was she who was the only one that understood him before. Now…Itachi replaced her completely. It was an odd feeling, the feeling of having relatives fighting over you.

Sasuke desperately wanted Itachi to win.

“Why?” Sasuke roared, the anger that he kept usually bottled up for Fugaku exploding at his mother instead. “I don’t want to go! Don’t make me! I won’t!” Mikoto again somberly shook her head, Sasuke blind to her difficulty of keeping silent. Sasuke began a tantrum, plopping down on the bed and practically screaming his head off, flinging the weapons called words at his mother…and hopefully, if Fugaku was listening, his father, too. Sasuke saved all respect he had now for his older brother.

Did Itachi know this?

Sasuke paused, to see Mikoto’s reaction. To his surprise, Mikoto was now turning on the waterworks, tears streaming down her face, too. Sasuke at first felt some kind of pity for her, but it evaporated when he again spotted the bags that she was packing. Even without his permission, she would move away. Did she even think a bit about him?

“Sasuke…I’m sorry, but…I don’t want you to follow the same path as your brother…please, don’t!” Mikoto cried, burying her face in her hands. Sasuke didn’t understand at all. All that the young Uchiha ever really told his mother was that he wanted father to acknowledge him. That was true, but there was a feeling that he wanted something more. He wanted Itachi’s acknowledgement.

“What are you talking about?” Sasuke scowled at his mother, trying to sound calm, but his compassion for her was slowly rising.

“You…I don’t want you to become a shinobi.”

Sasuke clenched his fists. How could she say that? She knew that he always wanted to become a shinobi…why back down now? Sasuke opened his mouth to say more, but Mikoto added on, “It’s too hard…I don’t want you to suffer all the burdens that shinobi handle! It’s…it’s…”

The young Uchiha began to understand, but his heart remained with his brother. He was planning to keep it that way. Now, Mikoto was just trying to lure him back, right? Sasuke struggled to believe that but the sight of his mother…suffering because of him, almost gave him a comeplete change of heart.

“I know that it’s your dream…but I don’t want you to die…”

The word dream made his mind pivot back to his brother’s side. It was his dream. And was Mikoto’s care for him that weak that she wouldn’t let him die a noble death? Sure, it would be painful but he knew that being a shinobi meant that you wanted to protect those precious to you, right?

“Please…you’re much too young to be going through this!”

Again Sasuke was torn away from his brother’s side. He was young. Even though Itachi handled those things with ease, Sasuke had to admit he was no Itachi. He ran back to his mother, fear filling him. Now that she mentioned it, the young Uchiha did want to live…he was afraid of death. As much as he admired Itachi and wanted to be like him, Sasuke had almost full doubt of himself. It now seemed impossible that Sasuke would be able to catch up to such genius.

He was going to have to decide. He couldn’t just stay here, scampering to his brother and mother every time he had a change of heart.

Sasuke stayed silent, staring at his mother. Mikoto stood up, walking slowly away. Sasuke watched her progress as she disappeared from sight. A thought ran through his head. The troublesome thoughts that came through him disappeared, and Sasuke faced a realization. He sat up, his gaze settling on the already packed-up bags.

~

Just for you to know, this is not going to where the Naruto series are going. Itachi is NOT going to kill the clan in this fic! ^/.\^ Hope you enjoyed! The next arc is Ripped Heart...after chapter five, kay? okay.

~

Oh, well. Here, I'll post a few questions:

1) If you're a writer, do you ever get writers' block?
2) What is your favorite pairing in Naruto?
3) Itachi - Love him? Hate him? Or just okay?
4) Ever heard of the book Speak? (the quote before my story is from that book)

Okay, my moods will be up sometime!

FOOFY! Foofy gone...


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