3:33am
Here it is morning again. Baby and I are sitting up. Now it is 4:16. We had to stop for grandpa, who was wondering in the kitchen like always. Grandpa eats way to much, complaining there is never anything in the house to eat. Yeah thats because ic I buy anything that doesn't need to be prepared grandpa eats it eight away. Grandpa buys Chinese the other day. I call the order in getting the usually plus a little extra. That equals to 6 or 7 combination plates. Combination plates are meat, rice, and soup. That day grandpa data little fearing if will make him sick, grandpa waits it out a few houra, grandpa doesn't get sick. I had told grandpa several times it was the resturaunt that was making him sick. I was right, grandpa then decides late that night left overs require little work and eats the meat out of every container. Anyway side tracked. Baby popped huge and spits up pretty bad. I know he is probably still hungry. Baby is doing hungry things, making pucker face, sticking tongue out, chewing on his hand/pacy. But baby doesn't want to take his bottle. When baby stays up, is fussy, and does hungry things it normally means that he is hungry. I am trying to get him to sleep is my main priority I'd he won't eat. I still needs to get ready for baby's next meal. I haven't been because of my mastitis has made me sore but I am running low on milk and he is eating more so I need to do what I have to do. I tried to get dad to get up with baby this time but dad refused to even answer my request. Dad did well today however. Letting me sleep in quite a bit while dad watched baby. Hope dad is willing to do that today because I may not be getting any sleep. Baby sleeps in the pack'n play in my room right now. Baby used to be ok with it, but now baby complains even in his sleep about it. I think it may be a bit hard. Grandpa says he is going to get the car running soon, I really hope he does because not sister-in-law may not work much longer. Not sister-in-law realized work is Judy about as hard as taking care of a baby but you have to do it on someone else's time. So I may end up taking myself to and from work. So very tired. Going to try to sleep.
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Tuesday, November 1, 2011

   10:38pm
Infections are awful. Two days fever, upset tummy, sore, lumps, headache, chills, dehydration, and almost passing out but.you still have to take care of baby. Does dad help? Yeah every other time baby wakes up and only under protest. He hurt his thigh and butt, but only on one side. Not bad enough to not take off with his boss to cut wood and help Jim with his truck, for free, so he had someone to smoke with. Then he gets home and suddenly its so bad he us going to die. What had I told him earlier, rest let the muscle relax. What had he told me, no you have to walk it off. Then last night I make a deal with him I will watch baby so he can rest and relax his leg, like he should have earlier, and I can rest today and he would watch baby. So just getting over sickness me watches cranky, not sleeping from 12am to 2am, and 5am to 9am baby. 9am dad wakes up against his will cause he gets a phone call. Still takes dad over an hour to take baby only for him to come in and tell me just as I am falling asleep "sorry but he is going to help his boss cut more wood. This way we can use the fire place this winter, cut down on the year bill." I don't care about the heat bill. I got a good paying job and dad is working every now and then. Besides that fire place leaks water in the eain, has at least one birds nest, and is definitely not safe to use. I have told dad this dozens of times, doesn't seem to sink in. Have had others tell dad, still doesn't latter. I would rather have sleep and a horrible bill, the no sleep and a good bill. I don't get to sleep during the day cause still cranky baby. I think baby is having a growth spurt because he is eating twice as much, figity, and cranky. I remember growth spurts the ache so that would explain figity and cranky, also he would eat more if growing. Grandpa does awesome and offers to buy dinner, gets the Chinese I want. Then as I am cleaning up what do I hear, why doesn't dad get a job where you did? You shouldn't work, moms should raise the child dads should work. What old thinking. If I want to work and have dad work that is up to me no one else. So dad is upset I make more then him, grandpa thinks I should stay home with baby, both are always complaining about us having no money they should be happy. In the mean time here I am raking care of baby all might long cause dad might work tomorrow and actually get paid for it. If he doesn't he will still be up before 7am and watch baby all day for me. Yeah right. He is going to end up doing the same thing as today if he doesn't for money. He needs to get used to working and taking care of baby at night anyway for when I am working. O get out of the shower and he is upset and cursing cause baby is up but not eating. Calm down if he is awake, upset, and not eating it's something else and you just have to work it out, I do. He needs to get over it and just deal. I do so much already, letting him go hang out with friends, not asking him to do much in the house just watch baby some so I can do it. I just need to get a regular monitor so I can carry it around, and do things on my own. I'll have to gave him show me how to close and open the pack and play so baby will have a safe place to gang out in the sun because even with a monitor I baby just leave him on the couch. Oh well, I have to do what I have to do. But I'm not going to give dad so much special treatment anymore, no more money for smokes, he smokes to much anyway, no more sure go to friend house, or yeah I'll watch baby tonight if you let me get some sleep during the day. Dad helped make the baby, time to take responsiblity and grow up.
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Sunday, October 30, 2011

   5:14am
Morning, here I am wake. Had to feed the baby, now I have to get ready for his next feeding. Hopefully soon it won't take as long. 30 to 90 minutes sleep every other hour. I don't know how I function in the day. Honestly not very well. Would be easier if dad would just help. Not like he is getting to much work right now anyway. Grandpa tried to warn him there wasn't much construction work in the winter but he took offense to the statement. Now he is cranky cause he us stuck in the house and cause we have no money. He wants to smoke but we really can't afford it. I ok'd him smoking yesterday cause Spencer needed help, what with having to help with is cousins funeral. So dad walks to cash in our change and buy a pack. Then Spencer doesn't even show or get back to anyone. Call your brother dad says maybe he wants to smoke. But he had his own baby and he isn't working so no money for him. Although quoting cause sister in law got s better job then him is silly what with her not starting until today. At least she got the job she wasn't cut out to be a stay at home mom, to lazy, and we can car pool to work when I start in a few weeks. Taking car of baby will ne hard while working, for both me and dad. In the mean time dad is upset that I will be making more money then him "I should be the provider," he whines. Well we need the money and you where whining about having to get a second job too. And grandpa is all you shouldn't have to work he should get a second job, but I will make more at this job then he will at a second. But I can't let them know how I feel cause heaven forbid I gave an opinion, that just makes both them more moody. Half way done getting ready. Goodness I am so sore, tender, and tired. I love baby to death. I am always thinking and worrying about him. But being a mom stinks.
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Thursday, July 10, 2008

so umm yeah
that's right i said it yeah. anyway now that i got that out i am moving again i guess when you grow up in the military you get so used to moving that you can't sit still that has to be it. back to new york. my baby is free and his dad is dying. so good news and bad i guess. anyway hisdad is giving us his property and so we are moving there. then later i am going to talk him into saving all our monewy and we are so moving to hawaii cause it is so much better there. just the right warm and a great combo of nature and city. oh well gtg, work callls yay..... ;_;
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Monday, June 30, 2008

   YAY!!!!
so i don't know and i don't know... still don't like my trainer he is a butt but friday we had a different person so that was good and then i had saturday and sunday off so that was yay. now i am back at work, we are not allowed to do anything in class we can't go ahead we move to slow to stick with everyone and we can't do things on our own it bows, speaking of blows my kitty go killed,poor kitty i cried for a bit and still do't like to think about him but i am ok now.and i just got a phone call clling me a b*tch and telling me i needed to call his dude before go out and blow someone or something and then acall from the same person and this time they used my name.... no ideal who it is or the # creepy right. plus they arn't answering so i can flip pout on them now.oh well off the do nothing.
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