Tuesday, April 22, 2008

life is what you make of it i guess. i got pulled over friday for not having tags... come to find out my bf had a warrent out and now he is in jail til at the least may 5th. that not only means life is lonely and boring but i have no ride to and from work. good thing i live close enough to walk, besides walking is good for you right? my family, our friends and hs family are trying to be supportive and that is a good thing. but i have taken this as a sign that we need to change things in our lives. no more wasting money and playing around. we can still spend play and relax but we need to start saving and doing what is right to. and that is what we are going to do when he gets out. oh well though. i am taking it well and things can only get better at this point.
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Friday, April 18, 2008

   running in circles
do you know how completely impossible it is to set up a online account if you don't know your accout number and how annoying it is to not be able to get your account number without setting up an account? i only wnat to set up a direct deposit on my debit card so i don't have to pay monthly for it and cause that way i can't spend all my money, but sadily i can't cause some dumb ass made it so that i can't get to my account number with out my account number..... stupid capital one.....
in other news we are learning about the internet in my training class.... yay... cause i didn't already know what high speed internet is, and definitly didn't know what download and upload speeds were. but it's not that bad still getting paid to sit around so it's all good.
cept when floor management tries to mess with your check. that's when you have to start crackings skulls, or in my cause crying. try to steal money from me will you... but i got my times all corrected, or rather my timecard fixed itself. that or my whole training class is losing our minds and there was no problem from the start.
more positive news being that we have pushed sixflafs back to a day that i have off so i do get to go... YAY!!!!!
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Thursday, April 17, 2008

trading days
so i had it planned to go to six flags with some friends and just my luck i realize they are all broke and can't go this week. so they were all lets go next weekend, and i was all ok yay. then what happens? i get to work today and go i have to work next saturday... ARG!!!!!! well right now i am trying for a shift trade see if anyone is willing to take my sunday or friday for their saturday. i really hope someone is cause right now i can get tickets at like half price and with like 5 of us going and being paid just before we leave it would be a blast. besides who doesn't like six falgs on mean come on. at least i have this weekend off to hang out play games and listen to my baby play with his band. i'll figure something out.
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Wednesday, April 16, 2008

poop....
so i was playing with things and i kinda didn't realize that it had been so long since i had really played with codes that i would forget them.. and well you can see the result. i can't remember how to put everything back and yesterday i didn't have enough time to play with it.
i was supposed to be training but for some reason my work never has anything together and when we all got here at 2 for our training we learned that it had been pushed back to 3 so we were all well we already clocked in and tey told us that we would have it fixed for us meaning that even though we were here we weren't going to be paid for it. then we ended up having to sit around in the break room doing nothing and staying out of ppls ways til like 5 when they actually found a place for us to train and knocked the class down by half. luckily i got to stay in it cause this would have been the second class for me and i can't really use the new policies if i don't know what they are.
they training was cool once we got started we only really talked about things and did some exercises on active listening. today i think we are actually going to get down to real work so that will stink but oh well.
speaking of today i finally got phantasy star universe and put some money on my debit card so that i can play it online. i got to try this japanese place that i wanted to try. down side being my ride works at 2 so i have to hang out and kill an hour, also my baby got his lunch stolen out of the work fridge so he is going to be pouting and whinning all day but he'll live.
now if i could only remember the username so that i can get on to my angelfire site and update my stories.... i can't even remember the basic site link... oh well....
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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

   OMG
oh my god it has to ave been like forever since i have thought about this site, but then when you have 45 minutes at work with nothing to do and alot of things aren't allowed to you, you have to do something, so news.... hmm... yes news.... well lets see i can drink now not that i do cause i don't really like the taste, still the same person which is kind sad cause that means i haven't really grown any but that is ok cause i like the person i am now, still living in tn, working at a call center now, all i do is sit on my bottom and mess with everyones cable... wee... no i kinda do though. i really almost want to write but then i would need paper or something for that, everything is going to be ok soon though extra money and alot of video games help, still wish i didn't have to pay money to play online games... but what you gonna do? darn you x-box. i need to get my own system so that i can play with my friends with out my baby's friends bugging me but what can you do if you don't want to spend that kind of money, nothing really, i'll play around some with the site see if i can update it or something, i wander if i can get on to my photobucket.... hmm.... *thinking evil thoughts* XP
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Tuesday, December 13, 2005

   hear ye hear ye
yes i know i go missing but you got to know i love you all. what i need what i need is like to i don't know start a major chat room and like return to it everyday and be loved and talk to like a bazillion ppl everyday. news well my friend's dad had heart surgery and when he was visiting his dad and since i don't like hospitals i was going to wait til he was done he was just going to say hi take me home and then come back. but he left me in the car in the rain for over and hour so n return i made him take me shopping i got $80 worth of clothes. til friday i am going to be stuck cleaning. oh well.
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Tuesday, July 19, 2005

I love you.
Sitting there that night all I really wanted was to talk to my dear love but that was not possible. The more then just land separated us that night. Stupid jokes and ill-timed truths had cause a gap in his heart. I had never meant to harm him. All I wanted was to make him happy all I wanted was for him to be who up until short weeks ago he had always been. I still can not figure out why it is that he changed, was it my fault, did I cause the depression that had set in on him. He joked and laughed but it was not the same. His eyes had been clouded and his voice told of something deeper. It is nothing he is just dreading this coming week when we will be apart, I tell myself. When I get back we will hug and tell each other what we did and everything will be back to normal. But that week came and went and in the end he was no better of and I could not reach him. Just inches from my finger tips I could see his pain, I could feel it, but I could not touch it. I could not help. A gap had formed and I was not allowed into his world anymore. I tried to make light of it, joking and laughing, it didn’t help. The space is growing. More then not being able to be with him, it hurts me that I can’t help. More then it hurts to be useless to him, it kills that he is in pain. I though scares left by time and by others could be healed with kisses and cuddles. I wanted so dearly to be able to make it all better. He was my baby, he was my love. Unable to help I try only to join him only to compound the problem. And then he was gone and with him my life. I miss it all, the good times, the bad times, but most of all I miss him. True love means letting go, and this I do for him. I would give the world for his laughs, for his happiness, for him but for now all I can give is my heart. This I do for him, my heart, my soul, my love, and my wishes, may he find his dreams and live them for all his life.
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Saturday, June 11, 2005

   let's see let's see

it's 5 in the morning angain and here i am still not tired. i'm tell you it's so annoying to have nothing to do when you are totally awake. i was playing a game but then i accidetly closed it part way thru a battle and now i can't get back on it cause it says it's server has overloaded. T-T it sucks... anyway i have to get up early and can't sleep. i'm going to need to soon cause i sat on my bed while amexander and derreck talked out my schedule for today. alex gets me from whenever he shows at my house til 6pm and the derreck gets me from then til when he takes me home. ok soon i have to start my work at riverbend. i didn't go today cause it was all raining and stuff. it wuld have been fun to go cause one of my friends was ther and says some guy got stabed in the neck. she does say that kid rock wasn't very good. i will at one point end up going to it. i mean i work there 2 days next week so i am going to have to. i did today go see the mr. and mrs. smith movie today. really funny pretty good. tomorrow i think i am going to go walking with alex and i don't know what else but it better be something simple cause i owe derreck a dress and i will wear it darn it. and now i'm finally getting tired. happy thought in my head. i have decided to ignore the boy troubles and just treat them the way i always have and pretend they never told me. but today i had two guys argue about who got to spend time with me ^____^ tha just makes me happy. anyway night ppl. love you all... and comment cause i feel all lonely.

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Thursday, June 9, 2005

fwush..................

it's just past midnight not one bit sleepy. stayed all day today doing nothing and and laying about in a pair of boys shorts that i got mud and food all over just like when i was little. it felt good to not have to worry about anything and not care about what others thought. me and my brother hung out sort of. it was more of an off on thing.i tried to play on the computer like i did last year and guess what it happened just as it did last year i got kicked off every 5 minutes by mom and justin. oh well.i was kida mean when i didn't help my friend when he felt bad but i had felt the same way for the past week-ish and he had been of o help so i was feeling no compassion. oh well i will make it up later to him. other important news my daddy got me my own phone line in the house. no one having to wake up and get the phone calls for my brother, yay! welp that's it for today. peace to you all.

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Wednesday, June 8, 2005

   do di do di do di do

it's really early and i think my parent are going to try and wake me in 3 hours.. haha let them try i should be in bed by then and luck to anyone that can get me up when i don't want to. and of course power to them for being brave enough to try. now i watched movies and had pizza yesteday i think i have plans today but they were never finalized. and thursday i have volunteer work friday movies and saturday a sleep over. welp got ppl to see things to do. tah.

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