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• 1987-04-07
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• 2003-11-20
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• ash

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• made it to senior year!!!!
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• can draw alittle and write really good stories




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myOtaku.com: Memaki


Tuesday, June 7, 2005

   how do you know when true love is really true?
i love you alex i know that yours is real. i want to be with you and you make me truely happy just talking with you. but what about what others feel. how can one then one person love the same person? some of my best friends have decided that they loved me. one i told me that he he liked being out with me and that he loved my looks and attitude and that he wants to date me and to have sex with me, that he may in time really truely love me. one thinks that it is true love that he feels for me right now, that he wants to spend every waking hour with me that he wants to sleep with me and eat with me and talk with me and just do everything with me, and i know he wants to have sex with me as well. now the third has a girlfriend and is at the moment spending all his time with her and avoiding me but he told his friend that he has always had a crush on me and that he still does but he is dating others that's just not right so he is totally messed up. then there is my ex. i haven't talked to him since december and now he is contacting me telling me he still loves me and he's sorry for all the bad things he did to me in the past but that he wants to be with me now. and the girl that i says she loves me and i know she does but in her own special way more like friend love, with her it's simple she just wants to sleep together her i can just tell no and she will be fine with things. but right now i love alex and i don't want to have eveyone else love me and i don't want to be with them. but i also don't want to hurt them. and i don't want to lose them. i just don't know what to do. i guess until i figure it out i may just avoid them all. the boys won't like me avoiding them and they won't like that te other like me and i know and they won't like me talking to the others and i know they will be furious when i do figure out what to do. i hate this T~T why can't things all be good. i was happy why do they have to tell me this stuff when i had everything all figured out when i was content with my life as it was. i hate them for this... yet i love them they are my friends......... *cries*
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