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• 1987-04-07
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Female
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• usa
Member Since
• 2003-11-20
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• student
Real Name
• ash
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Achievements
• made it to senior year!!!!
Anime Fan Since
• 1995
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• my first i guess sailor moon
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• become rich and loved
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• drawling and writing
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• can draw alittle and write really good stories
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Tuesday, July 19, 2005
I love you.
Sitting there that night all I really wanted was to talk to my dear love but that was not possible. The more then just land separated us that night. Stupid jokes and ill-timed truths had cause a gap in his heart. I had never meant to harm him. All I wanted was to make him happy all I wanted was for him to be who up until short weeks ago he had always been. I still can not figure out why it is that he changed, was it my fault, did I cause the depression that had set in on him. He joked and laughed but it was not the same. His eyes had been clouded and his voice told of something deeper. It is nothing he is just dreading this coming week when we will be apart, I tell myself. When I get back we will hug and tell each other what we did and everything will be back to normal. But that week came and went and in the end he was no better of and I could not reach him. Just inches from my finger tips I could see his pain, I could feel it, but I could not touch it. I could not help. A gap had formed and I was not allowed into his world anymore. I tried to make light of it, joking and laughing, it didn’t help. The space is growing. More then not being able to be with him, it hurts me that I can’t help. More then it hurts to be useless to him, it kills that he is in pain. I though scares left by time and by others could be healed with kisses and cuddles. I wanted so dearly to be able to make it all better. He was my baby, he was my love. Unable to help I try only to join him only to compound the problem. And then he was gone and with him my life. I miss it all, the good times, the bad times, but most of all I miss him. True love means letting go, and this I do for him. I would give the world for his laughs, for his happiness, for him but for now all I can give is my heart. This I do for him, my heart, my soul, my love, and my wishes, may he find his dreams and live them for all his life.
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