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myOtaku.com: Memento mori


Tuesday, January 20, 2004

   Talking to myself
I find myself frequently talking to myself. Does this make me crazy?
Or is it a sad cry for attention?
But how can it be a cry for attention when I liked not being noticed?
I take pride in the fact that I can walk into my classes and stay for ten minutes and leave and the teacher doesn't notice I'm gone.
But what does that say about me?
I talk to me to keep myself company. I really don't want to take the time to interface with people unless through a screen or phone.
But what is it that compels me not to want to interface with others?
It's the simple fact that they bore me. I'm disgusted on how they put such an emphasis on something that means nothing. My the majority of my race cares about nothing that is worth something. In return because I don't feel this way I'm treated differently and I cast myself out into the void that is my mind. So I'm left with nothing else but myself. I'm alone even when I'm surround by people. I feel uneasy when spoken to if I normally don't interact with you. But if I talked to online I might find that we are two of a kind. And yet I still have to talk to myself. The voices in my head keep me company and they never mock me. No matter what I do know I can always talk to myself and not be scared. So I find myself frequently talking to myself. Does this make me crazy? I think not. It helps me keep the little sanity that I have left.
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