Wednesday, September 5, 2007

   All Is Not Well....

Well, I've decided that I don't want to be an art teacher anymore. I want to be a cosmetologist, specifically, a hair stylist. I told my mom earlier, and she said I have to stay until the end of the semester. My dad is furious, I guess. He says that I can quit at semester, but that I've gotta get a job, take on my car payments, and take on my insurance. And to anyone out there who thinks I'm doing this JUST because of my boyfriend, FUCK OFF!!! Even if I were single, I would be doing this. I hate college all together! I don't want to fuckin teach! Don't get me wrong, I love art. But I've changed my mind about what I want to do with my life. I don't see why my dad can't be understanding. Maybe it's because he didn't get a college education. Hell, he got to do whatever the fuck he wanted! He joined the army and became an alcoholic! Then he met my mom, and quit drinking. Neither of them went to college! But they always told me and my little brother we could do whatever we wanted with our lives, so long as we were happy. I thought going to college and becoming an art teacher was what I wanted. Within the first three weeks, I've become overwhelmed, and I'm not happy anymore. I want to quit, go back home, go to the local vo-tech, and get my associate's degree in cosmetology. I then could become a hair stylist, or a skin care specialist, or whatever else falls under "cosmetology". The point is: Why are they so pissed just because college no longer makes me happy? I don't even wanna go home this weekend. I don't want to see them. I don't want to talk to them. I don't want to listen to what they have to say. But I'm gonna go home anyways. I'm gonna try to avoid them as much as I can. That will be very hard, considering I still LIVE with them. My grandma told me before I came to college that there is no shame in dropping out and coming back home if I couldn't do it. Well, it's not that I can't do it. It's that my goal has changed, and no longer includes college. Therefore, going to college is a waste of time. And this means I most likely won't get to start vo-tech in the spring semester either, seeing as I will probably have to pay for that all on my own. It will take 53 weeks (2 semesters and a summer term) and $1680 to go to vo-tech, plus another $500 for books. Seeing as I will have to pay my insurance and car payments, that's a lot for me. So I'll have to have a full-time job. And I wouldn't be suprised if my dad made me start paying fuckin rent when I move back in either. So now, either way, I'm not very happy. I hate college. I just wanna go apeshit and destroy everything in the dorm room right now. Well, everything on my side, anyways. Mantha wouldn't be very happy if I destroyed her stuff. Whatever...I'm gonna get off of here before I break down again... Excel¤~

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