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Birthday
• 1987-10-23
Gender
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Female
Location
• New Zealand,Ak
Member Since
• 2003-09-16
Occupation
• Summer Girl Friend
Real Name
• Gin and Coke
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Achievements
• Greening my site
Anime Fan Since
• Does it matter?
Favorite Anime
• I'm not sure
Goals
• Maybe get an apprenticeship...
Hobbies
• Painting pictures, painting models, painting in my head...
Talents
• I bet I could have an anxiety attack on command.
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Thursday, June 10, 2004
HAH~~~~~I"m BAck!!!!!!!!
This is me on the hour long bus ride on the way home today:
I was just sitting there thinking about the fact that I was writing even after finishing my English Assessment in a tumultuously horrifying end, on a bus.
Indeed for the past week...or...perhaps more, I have actually neglected every single one of my journals (three to be exact). And oddly enough the most significant thing I can think of writing is that I lost the ring mum brought me, then found it again the next morning in my shoe(I really don't know how it got there).
During the time it was missing my fingers had felt quite naked and lonely which is attributed to the fact that, even if I find something terribly annoying, I'd be more uncomfortable without it if I had it around long enough. Bascially...I get use to this annoyance. Loose, always shifting on my finger and just generally , down right in the way. But I couldn't be without it.
Time passed and I am still on the bus.
So I considered the boy standing in the aisle with his rather long-lashed, femenine eyes with seemingly plucked eyebrows. It annoyed me that he didn't sit down. There were any number of seats to sit on but no, he chose to stand and study the crowd at the back with the intense blue eyes that were out of place with his genetically tanned skin and dark spiked hair.
Excessive use of descriptions is attributed to my capacity for boredome.
Naturally I hate boredom. I do the stupidest things when I'm bored, in face I even remember the worst things during those times. Right now is how I was dared to ask my Ex to the Ball. She called me a chicken and I admitted to that. Joke or not, I wouldn't ask him to the ball for a piddling little dare consisting of a few words. Do these people not realize I had a nightmare he was my date??!
I was shocked too.
I did not wake up from that dream oblivious to what had happened, or with a warm fuzziness you get from enjoyable ones. No...I awoke with a start....
Quivering...
Shuddering...
Warm but my insides were filled with icy tentacles of goose-bump inducing DREAD!!! Perhaps I'm exaggerating...slightly, but that's not to say that it was pleasant in anyway.
Time continues ploughing on relentlessly. I'm still on the bus.
Sentimentally I think about the kindergarten we're about to pass which I once went to *sigh*...I hated that place...
As usual, I lack a certain amount of appreciation for my past, revelling in it's glorious oddities and psychological trauma, yet filled with pure disdain because I remember it.
I must be totally bored right now.
Over the roar of the bus engines I hear that a lady was seen arrested stealing tampons from the Warehouse. Funny.
I'm hating this. Every despicable moment from the hurt caused in childhood to the peer pressure to bring a fucking date to the Ball. I hate these people. Their norms, rules and society which only serves to delude and control. But just as ususal, as soon as I get angry it suddenly let's out. Like trying to fill a barrel with water when there's a hole in the side about 2/3 of the way up.
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As you may have notice, I'm an incredibly spiteful and unhappy person when riding on a bus.
I feel much better now. Much less thinky ^^
And so glad to be back to my journal. I'm going to try visit everyone tonight. |
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