myOtaku.com: Miburou

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Gender
• Female
Member Since
• 2005-08-25
Real Name
• Christina Marie.

myOtaku.com: Miburou

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Hmm. My heart. . .is hurting pretty bad right now. < | 3
yeah. just as the title says.

This is all a long story, but I'll make it simple for those who actually care. Just last night, my...boyfriend...had told me that his heart was confused...and that he loved me and another girl at the same time. Heh. That hurt me pretty bad...

That other girl didn't know about me and him and when she found out, she was devistated and broke up with David. [[my boyfriend]] He was heartbroken...and yet so was I, but I still comforted him...as much as it hurt me, I tried my best to make him happy again. He said he had cut himself...21 times...he said if it weren't for me, he would have gone too far...and he said that he wanted to, too. That hurt me alot...it was as if I wasn't a reason to live for him. He wasn't thinking how I would feel about it...or maybe he was...I don't know.

But yeah...he chose the other girl. The other girl and him got back together...he told me that he still loved me, and that one day we would be a couple again. He said he wanted to marry me...and have a family...and that no matter what happened he would never leave me alone...but he told the other girl that he wanted to marry her too...and I'm just so confused and hurt...I want to believe him...because he's not only my true love, but my best friend too...we've always been there for each other...

But...I still love him...so much...and I have faith he will come back to me...he said he would...so I'll wait for him. As stupid as that may sound...but he really is sorry for the pain he's caused me...and I have no choice but to forgive him...he broke my heart, but it will always belong to him.

v___v

That's love for you. It hurts like fuck...and it's so bittersweet. Yeah...and it's even harder because I can't tell him how fucked up I am now, cause it will only hurt him too. I don't want him to be sad...I want him to be the happiest he can be...even if it's not with me...

So yeah. Like I said, I'm fucked right now. I'm not eating...I haven't eaten for the past four days, and I just don't have an appetite. I can't sleep now...without crying...because everytime I close my eyes, I think of David loving and giving attention to someone else. God...this hurts so much...I want to be happy because I know I have a chance of being with him again in the future...but I just don't know anymore...

I'm sorry, but I don't know if I'll be updating as much anymore.

I know in my last post I said he was only using me for his sexual desires, but we had a long conversation about that. Heh. Turns out I was wrong...but...eh, I don't know.
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