Birthday • 1989-04-05 Gender •
Female Location • Philippines Member Since • 2005-01-18 Occupation • a wannabe writer, taga-alaga ng kapatid, student Real Name • ....
Personal
Achievements • to be alive and happy Anime Fan Since • I watched TV and sawhow great it is! Favorite Anime • Shaman King, Code Geass, Deathnote, Rozen Maiden, Haruhi Suzumiya no yuutsu Goals • To be successful someday and to write the greatest novel mankind has ever read Hobbies • write, read, sing, watch TV, Talents • writing, drawing, singing, living happily
myOtaku.com: micelle
Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
Christmas gift? If he is reading this right now...
There are a lot of things that I want to say...
but your Christmas gift would be given personally...
That I promise...
>>>>>>>>>
I was really happy the moment I saw him
I never thought for a minute that my two worlds would collide
But it was possible...
everything was possible for him...
Why have I doubted?
Because I was afraid to believe...
Christmas is a season where gifts are given...
but what if the only gift that you both wanted was the thing that you are forbidden to give
would you still give it?
Just to see him beside me was like heaven...
just to talk to him and laugh with him was bliss
Just to hug him and hear that he likes scratch that love me was the perfect gift
It makes my heart leap
It paints a smile on my face
and I'm contented...
When he said that he said the wrong thing that night my chest started to constrict...
I really thought that he would take it back...
the reason for my happiness...
but I was wrong...
I should've anticipated that...
because instead of making me cry... he made me even happier...
Because instead of like... he loves me...
He loves me?
But then he suddenly asked me...
My lips were treacherous saying the stupidest thing I could utter...
but if he only knew...
if we were in a different place
in a different situation
maybe I could answer him
more honestly...
without a doubt, without a trace of pretension...
That I do love him...
I'm sorry that I can't answer you at once
Forgive me If I hesitated...
I also wish that I could forgive myself for supressing something that I want to say
I wanted to give him his present right then and there
For it was also something I too wanted...
but I can't give it...
I mustn't...
for if I did I would just repeat my past mistakes...
I'm afraid that If I'd fall no one would catch me
I'm scared that If I let him hold my heart he would just hurt it
I'm terrified of the thought that in the end... all those promises would end bitterly
I don't want to love again because I know all those who love me just leave...
and I'm back to where I started...
Alone and suffering...
I don't want to be alone again
but what can I do?
they always leave
and If he leaves me too
I think my heart could not bear it anymore.
The reason why I'm hesitant
The reason why I don't believe easily
is because I'm afraid to get hurt...
But on the other hand,
I wanted to believe
I want to risk it -being hurt
why?
because of all the grapes in the vines...
he's one grape that taught me very well
how it is to be happy
how it is not to cry
he's the only person I know... the only person I've met that ALMOST freed me from those cursed chains!
Hearing it from him...
It was like dream
Those things only happens in dreams
and i never thought that reality would allow it
I was stunned... for what to me was an eternity...
but it was only a few seconds on Earth time
it was like breathing was starting to be a hard task...
and I have to face him again with some answer...
Dreams end... real life situations don't...
Now what shall I answer?
Whatever the outcome maybe I shant wish to turn back time...
Not only is it imposible but also unforgivable
I must face every consequences my decision would lead me to
just like a writer never regrets what she has written
a human must never takes back her decisions...
Wala lang... polarity issue If he is reading this right now...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Randomness kakapasok lang sa utak ko
ito kakatingin ko lang...
Noon pa man di ko na talaga makuha ang essence ng friendster... napwersa na lang talaga ako na gumawa ng account...
sometimes i find it useful sometimes I wish I didn't even hear about it...
argh! It's so irritating, annoying and frustrating
d'arvit I'm starting to use synonyms!
Ayoko na talaga ng friendster... kasi maaring magsinungaling ang mga tao na may account dito...
katulad na lang ng isang to...
naaasar ako! kung gusto niyong malaman kung bakit... click ka!
I'm always full of Randomness...what's new? I know that web journals are meant to be read...
but I didn't thought that of all the people in the world (especially those who are capable of connecting to the internet) HE would read it.
Good thing wala akong nilagay dito tungkol sa mga pangyayari nung Dec 15 and 16... I'm safe...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Random topic one:
I don't know why I'm so bothered with the fact that I am like one of psycho-stress'characters...
If you can't understand a thing I'm saying well let me explain...
you see this guy is a writer (a serious one not a wannabe like me) and he had created a girl that he says was like ME but of coarse when he created her we haven't crossed paths yet...
I just met him this year for crying out loud...
and that story was already intact before he knew me...
oh life...
I read only three chapters so the character's personality is still not that clear to me...
so that is why up until now... I don't want to believe that I'm Sevia...
I really don't know why I'm still thinking about it...
I mean its not that bad, right?
Take note: I'm not acting like Sevia just so that he would like me... argh! I hate it when someone tells me that I'm capable of pretending just to please somebody! D'arvit!
One thing I noticed... Zenith is taller than Sevia
(d'arvit height palang parang kami na nga!)
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
The chains that bind me always haunts me...
I don't know If I've already escaped
I don't know If I've already learned how to fly...
All I know that because of them... because of him...
I've learned how to forget about those chains...
that's why I really am thankful...
because they had taught me...
how to be happy...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Random topic two: Some words/phrases/sentences may be written in my native tongue so that I could express it more clearly...
D'arvit, d'arvit, d'arvit! (Native tongue nga tapos gnommish! hay mici!)
Hindi ako makapaniwala na nakapunta siya dito!
Imagine a girl sleeping in the middle of the day... then the moment she looks at the message in her cell she saw this
Guess where I am (or something like that n_n;)
D'arvit!
Akala ko talaga nasa Vicas na siya... (nearest landmark to our house)
Buti naman nasa SM Fairview siya...
Nakakaasar talaga siya... mula nang sabihin niya iyon nagpanic na agad ako..
why?
I was worried about him...
baka mawala siya, baka mapahamak siya (It's dangerous out there! That's why I don't like going out of the house BY MYSELF!)...
atsaka iniisip ko rin na malamang mapagod siya sa biyahe... d'arvit ang layo ng bahay niya mula sa amin tapos
tapos ang gastos rin... (I know kuripot talaga ako)
Basta...
but he came...
at nakakaasar talaga siya kahit kelan kasi nakakotse pala siya...
pinag-alala niya lang ako sa wala (Tanga ko noh?)
we talked
at nagkulitan
pero di lang niya alam...
my Christmas just got happier because of that
(now I know that he knows...)
I wanted to tell him that I too feel the same way...
But I can't because I'm scared that others might hear...
I'm different at home...
I hide my tears, I never get serious... I'm just different in the eyes of my family...
That is the place where those chains are at its tightest...
the place where I feel like I'm imprisoned...
that's why I always hesitate before going home...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I'm afraid of being hurt.
I hate crying...
I curse myself for being weak
I loathe myself because I'm so stupid...
I'm an abomination to myself...
If there is one person that I really hate...
That is ME...
That is the reason why I don't believe that there are such people that could really love me...
In the end...
they always leave...
and I always suffer
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Random topic three: Part two ng Random topic two (I'm crazy, ne?)
Okay yung nasa itaas tungkol sa pagpunta niya...
ito yung nasa bahay na siya...
Okay so buti na lang andun yung kapatid ko kaya nabuntun ko lahat sa kanya... kawawa naman napagtripan ko nanaman siya pero mild naman yung ginagawa ko sa kanya eh (I'm such a bad sister... and I know it)
So ayun kulitan... binabalik niya yung takut ko dun sa matanda...
I hate ghost stories...
Because I can easily be scared...
Ang saya ko talaga...
siguro mas masaya ako kung masasabi ko sa kanya yung gusto kong sabihin non...
kaso hindi talaga pwede kasi alam kong binabantayan ako nun...
may kasunod pa ito pero next part na...
composition time!
Patay kang keyboard ka!
wakekekeke
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Randomness kakapasok lang sa utak ko
alam niyo ba yung kantang Houkiboshi from BLEACH?
Well if no, it is a cheerful type of song...
but FYI I actualy cried while SINGING that song
Not because my voice is terrible... which is true
It was just because...
argh! If you really want to know the reason ask me personally hahaha! Or leave a comment...
I promise I'd tell...
But honestly Houkiboshi is not a sad song and the fact that I cried upon hearing and singing the song was kindda wierd okay it is wierd I admit it...
That is why Houkiboshi is one BLEACH song that is truly memorable for me!
notice how I like to type "..." I think my fingers are just used to it... see!
Wala naman kwenta sasabihin ko eh... pero kung gusto mo po basahin niyo...
I hate it when I'm sad...
I hate it when I regret things...
I hate recalling about the past events and saying again and again how stupid I am...
I hate myself...
I know that there are many other people around me that also have problems...
but don't I also have the right to be sad?
Of coarse I do...
>>>>>>>>>>>>
sayang hindi niyo ko nakitang nakapalda ngayon... wakekeke... ako nakapalda nang hindi nakauniform... ano kaya hitsura ko? wierd... I guess...
basta malungkot ako ngayon kaya ganito ginawa ko..
nagpalda ako, mamaya magpipigtails ako, naka step in rin ako...
oo ganyan ako pag malungkot...
actualy para sa akin... parusa yan... ang sakit kaya ng step in atsaka maulan... so expect na baka maputikan ang palda ko!
o di ba?! Parusa...
hay naku... basta ang drama ko...
siya kasi eh... pasakit sa akin...
para siyang sira! naaasar ako sa kanya...
but every time I say to myself na ayoko sa kanya... bigla ko na lang masasabi sa sarili ko na hindi ko kayang magalt sa kanya...
dahil nga kahit papaano natutuwa na ako sa kanya... hindi ko alam kung bakit o kung kelan ito nangyari basta isang araw napansin ko na lang na gustong-gusto ko na siya...
na nagseselos na ako kapag binibigay niya ang bag niya sa iba para hawakan, kapag may ibang tumutulong sa kanya sa pagtayo, kapag may iba siyang babaeng kasabay sa paglalakad, kapag ganito, gkapag ganyan...
bangag na ako di ba...
pero iba ang sinasabi ko sa kanila... oo may mga nakakaalam pero dapat hindi sila magsaalita... ayoko nang magkagulo pero ayoko namang habang buhay itong itago... ako pa?
This is not a poem... not even a song... just confessions of a heart...
This is not a poem... not even a song... just confessions of a heart...
She always felt like she was alone though there are many people around her... but then she slowly had friends...
Then she knew that she would never be alone...
They came as they go... everyone starting with a “hello”
Though they may be simple or eccentric they never fail to leave a memory behind...
That is why if there is something that she would carry forever it’s those memories.
She never thought that anyone would like her... She doesn’t even know why people would bother talking to her...
“Paawa” effect is what other people call it
But that is what she is feeling...
It was a rainy day... and her whole day seems to never end...
Her feet were killing her
She was freezing to death...
And embarrassed by the way she dressed...
She summoned him... barely thinking that he would come...
But he did and she was happy.
The moment she saw him walking towards her direction... her heart started to beat rapidly...
Damn! He’s so handsome!
And she hates using that word...
Dressed in pure white... his hair neatly kept and tied in a pony...
His face kissed by the drizzle of rain...
She tried to contain herself... she must...
She should not fall for him... she mustn’t
But how can you not fall in love with a guy like him...
Why is it wrong to love someone whom you know loves you back?
All she could do was tease him... all she could do was sit beside him and talk to him...all she could do was all she could do was be his friend...
all that she could be to him was a mere friend...
that’s his position in her life...
and after that there should be nothing more...
‘Tis painful, ‘tis hard... but what could she do...
Her heart is so fragile...
If he only knew...
If he only knew how much she liked his presence
If he only knew how important he was to her
If he only knew how much she would be willing to be with him
If he only knew how much happiness he gave her
If he only knew how many times she dreamt of him... of only him... being hers... until the end
If he only knew how much she praise the ground he walks on
If he only knew how easy she fall for people who cares for her
If he only knew that every time he shows affection she end up in bliss
If he only knew how she would get jealous every time he shares things she didn't know to other girls
IF he only knewhow much she craves for his attention
If he only knew that he was her courage and her joy
that ever time she is with him nothing could go wrong
If he only knew...
But he do not know
And that is the suffering she bears every day
She wanted him to know... but she must not...
This is not a poem nor a song... but a declaration of a heart...
A heart that is bind by numerous chains of the past mistakes
By a norm that she could not escape from
From the torment of being so weak...
Kawaii!! I love Yoh and Anna though the song didn't came from mankin it came from Hercules FYI It's still good... pls comment Comments (0) |
Permalink
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
tHIS IS So KAWAII
Lyrics:
Saigo no kisu wa
Tabako no flavor ga shita
Nigakute setsunai kaori
Ashita no imagoro ni wa
Anata wa doko ni iru n' darou
Dare wo omotte 'ru n' darou
You are always gonna be my love
Itsu ka dare ka to mata koi ni ochite mo
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love song
Atarashii uta utaeru made
Tachidomaru jikan ga
Ugoki-dasou to shite 'ru
Wasuretaku nai koto bakari
Ashita no imagoro ni wa
Watashi wa kitto naite 'ru
Anata wo omotte 'ru n' darou
You will always be inside my heart
Itsu mo anata dake no basho ga aru kara
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you are still the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love song
Atarashii uta utaeru made
You are always gonna be my love
Itsu ka dare ka to mata koi ni ochite mo
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Mada kanashii love song
Now and forever...
5:30 ng umaga, ang lugar ay sa Men’s Residence Hall (aka Men Dorms). Malamig ang umagang iyon at madilim ang kalangitan. Halatang maulan nanaman ang araw na ito. Ang guwardiya ng Dorm ay nagbabantay sa may pinto, nag-aabang ng mga nag-overnight permit na pabalik na. Mula sa malayo nakatanaw siya ng isang nilalang na papalapit. Tinitigan niya ito ng mabuti dahil parang hindi isang estudyante ang papalapit. Kung tutuusin talaga parang hindi nga ito tao. Papalapit ito ng papalapit at mula sa likuran ng isa may sumusunod na marami. Parami sila ng parami at papalapit ng papalapit.
6:00 ng umaga, sa kwarto sa pinakakanan na sulok ng Men’s Dorm. Mahimbing ang tulog ng apat na babae. Makadikit na doubledeck ang mga kama nila. Malapit sa pinto ang isang doubledeck habang ang isa naman ay malapit sa bintana. Maingay ang paligid, maraming mga sumisigaw, at may tunog ng mga helicopter na maririnig. Naingayan ang isa sa mga residente ng silid lalo na si Joy na nagpapuyat kagabi. Nakahiga siya sa kama sa itaas ng double deck na malapit sa bintana.
“Ano ba yan? Ang ingay.” Bulong nito. Ngunit may nagsigawan nanaman.
“Ano bay an! Ang ingay! Manahimik nga kayo!” Sigaw muli nito na ngayon ay mas malakas na. Matapos niyang sumigaw ay hindi muna siya bumangon at napatulog muli.
Dahil sa pagsigaw nito nagising na ang nakahiga sa kabilang banda sa itaas ng doubledeck. Napabagon ang babaeng may maikling buhok, nagkusot ng mata at nag-unat. Maya-maya pa ay hinila na niya ang tuwalya mula sa sabitan nito para makaligo na. Napatingin na rin siya sa baba at doon pa lang niya napansin na may isang tao na nakatayo sa gitna ng kwarto nila. Dahil malabo ang mata ni Lorenz ay hindi muna siya makapaniwala. Kinuha niya agad ang kanyang salamin at sinuot upang tignan ang tao muli. Tao nga siya. Mahaba ang itim na buhok at malamlam ang mga mata ng lalaking nakatayo sa gitna. Napatili siya agad at tinuturo ang lalaki.
“Bakit may lalaki sa kwarto namin!” sigaw ni Lorenz.
Naalimpungatan naman ang nakahiga sa baba ni Joy na si Lyz. Napabangon siya at sinuot agad ang salamin.
“Lalaki?” taka nito nang makita ang lalaking nakatayo, “sinong nakaiwang bukas ang pinto kagabi?” sisi nito.
Ang nasa baba naman ni Lorenz ay nagising na rin ngunit nakahiga lang habang nakatitig sa lalaki. Nagtataka rin ito ngunit sa isang kakaibang dahilan parang nagwagwapuhan siya sa lalaki. Kung anime nga lang talaga sila ay kanina pa nakokorte ng puso ang mga mata ni Ria.
Ang huling bumangon ay si Joy na ngayon ay kinukusot ang mga mata niya. Napatingin siya sa lalaki at napakurap.
“Hello ako nga pala si Joy, ikaw sino ka?” masayang bati nito habang kumakaway.
Hindi naman sumagot ang lalaki bagkus ay nakatingin lang siya sa kanila. Agad na may narinig itong kumakaluskos sa screen ng binata ng kwarto. Lumakad patungo sa bintana ang lalaki habang sinusundan siya ng tingin ng mga babae. Hinawakan ng lalaki ang kurtina at itinabi na para bang may pinapakita siya sa mga bata.
Nanlaki ang mga mata ng mga babae sa nakita. May mga kakaibang nilalang kasi sa labas ng kwarto nila na para bang nagpupumilit na pumasok.
“Sino…” wika ni Lorenz
“Ka?” tuloy ni Ria
“At…” sunod agad ni Joy.
“Ano…” tanong ni Lyz.
“YAN!” sabay-sabay na sigaw ng apat habang nakaturo sa labas.
Napabuntung-hininga naman ang lalaki at lumakad muli sa gitna. Bumaba na mula sa kama sina Joy at Lorenz habang si Lyz ay parang may hinahanap na gamit. Si Ria naman ay naupo lang sa kama niya at tinititigan ng mabuti ang lalaki. Inalok ni Lorenz ng upuan ang lalaki at naupo naman ito. Si Joy naman ay sumampa sa lamesa nila upang makita ng mabuti ang mga nilalang habang nagpupumilit na abutin sila.
Ang mga nilalang na ito ay may kakaibang berdeng balat na parang sa isda. Parang mga syokoy ang pangkalahatan nilang hitsura.
Si Lyz naman ay nakaupo rin sa lamesa at tinititigan ang mga nilalang habang hinahanap sa laptop niya kung ano ang mga ito.
“Wala yan diyan.” Wika ng binata na nagpakuha ng atensyon ng apat.
“Ang gwapo ng boses niya.” Kinikilig na wika ni Ria.
“Anong wala?” tanong ni Lyz habang napapatango lang si Lorenz.
Si Joy naman ay nilalaro na ang mga nilalang. Tinutusok-tusok ng kanyang daliri ang screen at kinakawayan ang mga nilalang. Mukhang tuwang-tuwa si Joy. Maya-maya pa ay napaluhod na siya sa lamesa at binuksan ang screen, unti-unti niyang nilabas ang kanyang kamay para mahawakan ang kalingkingan ng daliri ng nilalang. Matapos madampi ay binunot niya agad ang kamay niya at aliw na aliw.
“Ano bang ginagawa mo? Mapanganib yan!” sigaw ng binata.
“Bakit naman?” Tanong ni Lyz na ngayon ay hindi pa rin nahahanap ang hinahanap niya sa kanyang laptop.
“Oo nga at anong kailangan mo sa amin?” tanong ni Joy.
“Bakit ka nga ba narito?” dagdag ni Lorenz.
Napag-isip-isip ng lalaki na dapat na nga niyang sabihin ang lahat bago mahuli pa.
“Kulang na ako sa oras kaya paiigsiin ko na lang ang kwento.” Wika nito, ngunit habang nagsasalita siya nilalaro na muli ni Joy ang mga nilalang.
Napaubo ang lalaki.
“Kaya kailangan makinig kayo sa kin.” Asar na wika nito.
“Ah, ganun ba… sabi ko nga tahimik na ko.” Wika ni Joy.
Napapatawa lang naman si Lorenz.
There's something in your eyes that I can't tell...
I can't dicipher well...
all i know is just I do like to look at you
... and stare...
then share...
this moment...
and savour it as long as i can...
for as soon as i wake up
the dream would be over
Christmas gift? 
Wala lang... polarity issue 
I'm always full of Randomness...what's new? 
Wala naman kwenta sasabihin ko eh... pero kung gusto mo po basahin niyo... 
They're just adorable ne? 
This is not a poem... not even a song... just confessions of a heart... 
tHIS IS So KAWAII 