Wednesday, December 7, 2005

   This is not a poem... not even a song... just confessions of a heart...

This is not a poem... not even a song... just confessions of a heart...

She always felt like she was alone though there are many people around her... but then she slowly had friends...
Then she knew that she would never be alone...
They came as they go... everyone starting with a “hello”
Though they may be simple or eccentric they never fail to leave a memory behind...
That is why if there is something that she would carry forever it’s those memories.
She never thought that anyone would like her... She doesn’t even know why people would bother talking to her...
“Paawa” effect is what other people call it
But that is what she is feeling...

It was a rainy day... and her whole day seems to never end...
Her feet were killing her
She was freezing to death...
And embarrassed by the way she dressed...

She summoned him... barely thinking that he would come...
But he did and she was happy.

The moment she saw him walking towards her direction... her heart started to beat rapidly...
Damn! He’s so handsome!
And she hates using that word...
Dressed in pure white... his hair neatly kept and tied in a pony...
His face kissed by the drizzle of rain...
She tried to contain herself... she must...
She should not fall for him... she mustn’t
But how can you not fall in love with a guy like him...
Why is it wrong to love someone whom you know loves you back?

All she could do was tease him... all she could do was sit beside him and talk to him...all she could do was all she could do was be his friend...
all that she could be to him was a mere friend...
that’s his position in her life...
and after that there should be nothing more...

‘Tis painful, ‘tis hard... but what could she do...
Her heart is so fragile...
If he only knew...
If he only knew how much she liked his presence
If he only knew how important he was to her
If he only knew how much she would be willing to be with him
If he only knew how much happiness he gave her
If he only knew how many times she dreamt of him... of only him... being hers... until the end
If he only knew how much she praise the ground he walks on
If he only knew how easy she fall for people who cares for her
If he only knew that every time he shows affection she end up in bliss
If he only knew how she would get jealous every time he shares things she didn't know to other girls
IF he only knewhow much she craves for his attention
If he only knew that he was her courage and her joy
that ever time she is with him nothing could go wrong
If he only knew...

But he do not know

And that is the suffering she bears every day

She wanted him to know... but she must not...

This is not a poem nor a song... but a declaration of a heart...

A heart that is bind by numerous chains of the past mistakes
By a norm that she could not escape from
From the torment of being so weak...

A heart that is a slave of her own shadows...

A heart that beats for him...

This is a declaration... a confession...

The proof that she does like him...

A proof that she do loves him...

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